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Alrighty, time for another critique deviation by request! I actually had this all ready to go the other day but I had a little problem and I guess the document did not save properly and I had to re-write the whole thing! Damn, that's happened to me three times already! I'm sorry I'm a little late on this, but, you know, computers are jerks sometimes. Anyway!

Today I will be going over 's character Raphael. Here is a link to the character's profile if you would like to share a fave, a friendly comment, or some helpful suggestions. ^^ iowrie.deviantart.com/art/wEE-… My comments, suggestions, and friendly banter will be the bold print. Let's begin!

　
APPEARANCE

(First of all, Raphael's overall design is really adorable ^^ His olive green eyes stand out nicely against the practical brown coloring of his hair. I can see you added some more complex details to his outfit to better match his character as a healer...um...medic. I think giving him a doctor's coat was a pretty clever idea! Angels are sometimes associated with healing, but I haven't seen one dressed as a doctor--it makes sense because doctors are technically healers. Clever! I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but may I suggest to practice drawing the hat? You could look up pictures of uniforms with hats to help you get a better idea of how to draw it. I'm terrible at drawing hats and caps myself so I usually need to look up a few references. Now there is something about Raphael's design that could use a change; he's a little bit monochromatic, meaning there's too much of one color. Changing the tunic underneath his coat to pale blue and putting a little color in his skin would really help break up all that white. You could even add a very pale blue tint to his wings or add some color to his shoes. Traditionally, Raphael is depicted wearing an orange robe. But the color actually associated with the angel Raphael is emerald green. You see, among other things, green is the color of healing. Now, I'm not saying your character needs to incorporate this colors, I'm just providing some ideas and suggestions to think about. Though, to be honest, I really like the combination of white and pale blue that you're already using, so simply adding more pale blue would do the trick.)

　

^Current ref sheet

Name: Raphael
Gender: Male
Species: Angel
SO: serious homoromantic Asexual (all angels might be asexual?)

(As I recall, Raphael is the angel associated with healing, so it's a fitting name for your character. Ah, time for some fun chit chat! It was once believed that angels actually had no genders since they are spiritual creatures, and just took on the outer appearance of males and females because these were forms that mere mortal humans could understand. Sometimes they appeared to be androgynous. Ever watch the movie, Constantine, and wonder "Is that evil angel supposed to be a guy? Or a girl?" Some angels even look like demonic gargoyles! But as for myself and most everyone else probably agrees on this, assigning a gender to your angel is perfectly fine. Now on to species. There are actually nine different ranks of angels in Christian lore. Common angels at the bottom and the singing, six winged Seraphims at the top--these were the ones that actually got to talk to God himself. In between were ranks like archangels, cherubims, thrones, etc.--I actually can't remember them all, but I know there were nine ranks in all--um, at least in Christian lore. I think Raphael is an achangel. But like I said, I'm just making friendly talk, there's no need to change his species since these are all still technically angels, but you could add his rank as an angel. There's really nothing wrong with these stats here except that four items make Raphael's profile rather short. You can add more items such as a few Likes, Dislikes, Hobbies--the things he does when he's not performing his medic duties, like I said, his rank as an angel. Maybe he has a special personal item or a special item that he uses for his work or a special skill to list. Or list his affiliation, like is he an angel for God, or another specifically named god, or possibly a goddess. Because when I first saw him, I thought he might be a fan character for Kid Icarus, but there is no information to let me know if he is a fan character or an original character. Another item to consider just for the thought of it, is that some people may not think angels should indulge in romance of any kind, but hey, it's fiction. As, for me, I don't have a problem with it so long as it's real love, you know, versus that one person who uses "love" as an excuse to oversexualize their character with mutiple partners. But rest assured, I can tell Raphael is not that kind of character.)

Personality: Despite being kind, Raphael is nervous and shy. He apparently never built a (strong) tolerance for death, but he's capable of keeping his emotions in until he's alone. Even so, he has a bad habit of bottling up and hiding his feelings. He also has another bad habit of apologizing a lot. He tends to get underestimated a lot due to his shyness and is usually picked on as a result; not a good idea. (Explanation: he is capable of defending himself.) He's usually pacifistic, but even if he doesn't like starting fights, he will finish them. He's also hardworking and devoted to what he likes to do. He's also forgiving (most of the time) and honest.

(Raphael definately sounds like a sweet and shy character. But I'm not too sure that a true deep seated pacifist who is willing to forgive would fight back...hmm...maybe include a bit of explanation about how the bullying has to go pretty far to reach that point. Raphael seems like he would rather not fight back at all and just wait for the worst to be other. People with low confidence are often the target of bullying and they rarely fight back or rarely share their experience. Shy characters rarely stand up for themselves, but they have been known to break past their own barriers on the behalf of others. One idea might be to describe Raphael as quiet and introverted instead, because that is not necessarily the same thing as being shy. Quiet characters can surprise people by turning out to be capable fighters. So I do think Raphael's personality could use a little reconsideration on some things.)

Backstory: His older brother kept on snapping at him every time Raphael tried to start a conversation, because Raphael was so dang talkative in the past. This caused Raphael to pretty much drop excessive talking altogether, causing his shyness. At some point in his past, he started to become fascinated with medicine and wanted to become a medic one day. He's pacifistic because he was taught to be like that, but he ended up learning self-defense because "Shoot the Medic First" is a thing.

(Poor guy--his brother made him feel bad about himself; a lot of people can relate to that. So it seems if a person could get to know Raphael fairly well and he is comfortable enough with them, he just might open up and talk freely again. Maybe...Raphael's back story is very short, and that's the problem with it. Because it is so short, there are a lot of things that are left unexplained. Why did his brother treat him that way? Was it unintentional, or was he kinda mean and grouchy? How did Raphael become fascianted with medicine? Was it something he saw or experienced? How did he go about becoming a medic? Who are those guys that bullied him? I hope they are not other medics. And what's all this about "Shoot the medic first"? It sounds like there is a dangerous situation going on--especially if it was necessary for him to have to learn self-defense, but it's not explained out enough. Raphael's back story could definately use a bit more beefing up. It would not only make his profile a bit longer, but filling in the gaps would make his character more complete.)

Relationships:
Gabriel - Gabriel is Raphael's younger sister. Raphael does care for her, but he gets annoyed by her melodrama and competitiveness.

(Ah, he has a sister, and too! I love her colors ^^ You know, you could include his brother here and tell us a little bit about him, too. He seems to be a driving force for Raphael, albeit not in a positive way. So it would probably be a good idea to include a little bit about him.)

Extra:
-Nothing here yet.

(I often do like the miscellanous facts. It's a good place to squeez in little tidbits of information that otherwise didn't fit in the stats or didn't make it into the backstory.)

　

Overall, Raphael has a great start as a character, but his information is very bare, and that makes it hard to get a good feel for the world he lives in. The information already present is okay the way it is, but it feels like a lot is missing especially for the story. Serioulsy, though, that "Shoot the medic" bit sounds like there's an interesting story going on there. His personality could use just a tiny bit of tweaking, and I still couldn't tell if he was a fan character to something or an original character, but the biggest improvement he can have is to have more consideration for the personal details about him and the details of his story. Raphael has room to expand and I hope you take that opportunity to work with him and develop him further, because he's freakin' adorable and he has great potential. He kinda makes me wanna draw angels when I look at him or possibly make an angel oc of my own, in which case, if I ever do get around to it, I'll definately credit you for the great inspiration ^^

Well, that ends this critique, and I really hope I was able to be helpful somehow, because I really like your character, and I hope he grows. And I want to thank you for trusting me as a good judge of character.

Until next time, dear readers!

　

Raphael the Angel belongs to .

Description

Alrighty, time for another critique deviation by request! I actually had this all ready to go the other day but I had a little problem and I guess the document did not save properly and I had to re-write the whole thing! Damn, that's happened to me three times already! I'm sorry I'm a little late on this, but, you know, computers are jerks sometimes. Anyway!

Today I will be going over 's character Raphael. Here is a link to the character's profile if you would like to share a fave, a friendly comment, or some helpful suggestions. ^^ iowrie.deviantart.com/art/wEE-… My comments, suggestions, and friendly banter will be the bold print. Let's begin!

　
APPEARANCE

(First of all, Raphael's overall design is really adorable ^^ His olive green eyes stand out nicely against the practical brown coloring of his hair. I can see you added some more complex details to his outfit to better match his character as a healer...um...medic. I think giving him a doctor's coat was a pretty clever idea! Angels are sometimes associated with healing, but I haven't seen one dressed as a doctor--it makes sense because doctors are technically healers. Clever! I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but may I suggest to practice drawing the hat? You could look up pictures of uniforms with hats to help you get a better idea of how to draw it. I'm terrible at drawing hats and caps myself so I usually need to look up a few references. Now there is something about Raphael's design that could use a change; he's a little bit monochromatic, meaning there's too much of one color. Changing the tunic underneath his coat to pale blue and putting a little color in his skin would really help break up all that white. You could even add a very pale blue tint to his wings or add some color to his shoes. Traditionally, Raphael is depicted wearing an orange robe. But the color actually associated with the angel Raphael is emerald green. You see, among other things, green is the color of healing. Now, I'm not saying your character needs to incorporate this colors, I'm just providing some ideas and suggestions to think about. Though, to be honest, I really like the combination of white and pale blue that you're already using, so simply adding more pale blue would do the trick.)

　

^Current ref sheet

Name: Raphael
Gender: Male
Species: Angel
SO: serious homoromantic Asexual (all angels might be asexual?)

(As I recall, Raphael is the angel associated with healing, so it's a fitting name for your character. Ah, time for some fun chit chat! It was once believed that angels actually had no genders since they are spiritual creatures, and just took on the outer appearance of males and females because these were forms that mere mortal humans could understand. Sometimes they appeared to be androgynous. Ever watch the movie, Constantine, and wonder "Is that evil angel supposed to be a guy? Or a girl?" Some angels even look like demonic gargoyles! But as for myself and most everyone else probably agrees on this, assigning a gender to your angel is perfectly fine. Now on to species. There are actually nine different ranks of angels in Christian lore. Common angels at the bottom and the singing, six winged Seraphims at the top--these were the ones that actually got to talk to God himself. In between were ranks like archangels, cherubims, thrones, etc.--I actually can't remember them all, but I know there were nine ranks in all--um, at least in Christian lore. I think Raphael is an achangel. But like I said, I'm just making friendly talk, there's no need to change his species since these are all still technically angels, but you could add his rank as an angel. There's really nothing wrong with these stats here except that four items make Raphael's profile rather short. You can add more items such as a few Likes, Dislikes, Hobbies--the things he does when he's not performing his medic duties, like I said, his rank as an angel. Maybe he has a special personal item or a special item that he uses for his work or a special skill to list. Or list his affiliation, like is he an angel for God, or another specifically named god, or possibly a goddess. Because when I first saw him, I thought he might be a fan character for Kid Icarus, but there is no information to let me know if he is a fan character or an original character. Another item to consider just for the thought of it, is that some people may not think angels should indulge in romance of any kind, but hey, it's fiction. As, for me, I don't have a problem with it so long as it's real love, you know, versus that one person who uses "love" as an excuse to oversexualize their character with mutiple partners. But rest assured, I can tell Raphael is not that kind of character.)

Personality: Despite being kind, Raphael is nervous and shy. He apparently never built a (strong) tolerance for death, but he's capable of keeping his emotions in until he's alone. Even so, he has a bad habit of bottling up and hiding his feelings. He also has another bad habit of apologizing a lot. He tends to get underestimated a lot due to his shyness and is usually picked on as a result; not a good idea. (Explanation: he is capable of defending himself.) He's usually pacifistic, but even if he doesn't like starting fights, he will finish them. He's also hardworking and devoted to what he likes to do. He's also forgiving (most of the time) and honest.

(Raphael definately sounds like a sweet and shy character. But I'm not too sure that a true deep seated pacifist who is willing to forgive would fight back...hmm...maybe include a bit of explanation about how the bullying has to go pretty far to reach that point. Raphael seems like he would rather not fight back at all and just wait for the worst to be other. People with low confidence are often the target of bullying and they rarely fight back or rarely share their experience. Shy characters rarely stand up for themselves, but they have been known to break past their own barriers on the behalf of others. One idea might be to describe Raphael as quiet and introverted instead, because that is not necessarily the same thing as being shy. Quiet characters can surprise people by turning out to be capable fighters. So I do think Raphael's personality could use a little reconsideration on some things.)

Backstory: His older brother kept on snapping at him every time Raphael tried to start a conversation, because Raphael was so dang talkative in the past. This caused Raphael to pretty much drop excessive talking altogether, causing his shyness. At some point in his past, he started to become fascinated with medicine and wanted to become a medic one day. He's pacifistic because he was taught to be like that, but he ended up learning self-defense because "Shoot the Medic First" is a thing.

(Poor guy--his brother made him feel bad about himself; a lot of people can relate to that. So it seems if a person could get to know Raphael fairly well and he is comfortable enough with them, he just might open up and talk freely again. Maybe...Raphael's back story is very short, and that's the problem with it. Because it is so short, there are a lot of things that are left unexplained. Why did his brother treat him that way? Was it unintentional, or was he kinda mean and grouchy? How did Raphael become fascianted with medicine? Was it something he saw or experienced? How did he go about becoming a medic? Who are those guys that bullied him? I hope they are not other medics. And what's all this about "Shoot the medic first"? It sounds like there is a dangerous situation going on--especially if it was necessary for him to have to learn self-defense, but it's not explained out enough. Raphael's back story could definately use a bit more beefing up. It would not only make his profile a bit longer, but filling in the gaps would make his character more complete.)

Relationships:
Gabriel - Gabriel is Raphael's younger sister. Raphael does care for her, but he gets annoyed by her melodrama and competitiveness.

(Ah, he has a sister, and too! I love her colors ^^ You know, you could include his brother here and tell us a little bit about him, too. He seems to be a driving force for Raphael, albeit not in a positive way. So it would probably be a good idea to include a little bit about him.)

Extra:
-Nothing here yet.

(I often do like the miscellanous facts. It's a good place to squeez in little tidbits of information that otherwise didn't fit in the stats or didn't make it into the backstory.)

　

Overall, Raphael has a great start as a character, but his information is very bare, and that makes it hard to get a good feel for the world he lives in. The information already present is okay the way it is, but it feels like a lot is missing especially for the story. Serioulsy, though, that "Shoot the medic" bit sounds like there's an interesting story going on there. His personality could use just a tiny bit of tweaking, and I still couldn't tell if he was a fan character to something or an original character, but the biggest improvement he can have is to have more consideration for the personal details about him and the details of his story. Raphael has room to expand and I hope you take that opportunity to work with him and develop him further, because he's freakin' adorable and he has great potential. He kinda makes me wanna draw angels when I look at him or possibly make an angel oc of my own, in which case, if I ever do get around to it, I'll definately credit you for the great inspiration ^^

Well, that ends this critique, and I really hope I was able to be helpful somehow, because I really like your character, and I hope he grows. And I want to thank you for trusting me as a good judge of character.

Until next time, dear readers!

　

Raphael the Angel belongs to .