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Description
Mass Effect 3 Ending Spoilers below. Read and view at your own risk.

Art is white colored pencils on black paper with PS.
______________________________________________

The retreat from earth was a horror. It was a blur Kaidan only participated in because he was damned if he was going to lose his students too. At the time, it was all he could do to function. Stay focused Shepard always said, so despite the chatter over the coms; they were all wiped out, no one made it he just set his mind to getting his spec ops team to the Normandy and off the planet before it was utterly annihilated.

And then everything just went crazy. The arms of the Citadel burst open like a flower and damned if Kaidan knew it was Shepard. He had a momentary flash of hope but it was torn away just as quickly. The sky lit up like a firework and the Crucible and the Citadel were just gone. It didn't happen instantly and Joker was speeding the Normandy away, but it sure seemed to all happen at once.

Memories were funny like that.

Before Kaidan even had the chance to let the full impact of what had happened break over him – before he had to eat his words I can't lose you again the Normandy was overtaken by the light. Everything glowed and it felt like the world disconnected behind his eyes.

It took a moment for Kaidan to realize that the disconnect was just that his head didn't hurt.

Even when his migraines were mostly controlled, the implant caused a constant dull ache. He'd learned to ignore the pain, but it was always there. And now, bathed in this strange glow that penetrated right through the hull, the pain was gone.

That's when he felt her. There was really no other way to describe it. Kaidan knew it was Shepard. The full importance of the light quickly dawned as information began to integrate with his brain. It was like downloading a file on to his Omnitool, except his whole self was the tool now.

Legion tried to explain – they were software and the body was only a platform – except new software was uploading and it was rewriting the hardware too. They were changing, all of them. He could see it on Joker's face and in the new glimmer of emotion in EDI's eyes. It was happening to all of them, organic and synthetic alike.

Shepard was uploading the wisdom of a million years of reaper cycles and the catalyst, and god it all just made sense.

Everything that you are the catalyst said and Shepard did what she always did. She gave everything she had and everything she was to save them. This time she did more than save his life again; she changed life as Kaidan and everyone else knew it into something different.

Something better.

He looked down at his skin and watched as tendrils of neon light danced across his flesh and though they were just patterns and webs, each intricate circuit wrote her name into him.

Maybe he hadn't taken enough time when he had it and maybe he hadn't always loved Shepard as well as he should have before, but now? Now she was part of him and he'd have forever to live up to what she gave him. His memories of her; battle, diplomacy, love replayed themselves in glaring clarity.

He wanted only to hold her again when he watched her walk away in the ruins of London. But now, she was inside him and closer than they ever could have been before. Was she this much a part of everyone else too? Kaidan doubted it; and even if it were true, who else would know to feel her inside, to know who she was?

Once he'd let his guard down, really trusted her again – well, Kaidan Alenko knew Shepard in a way he'd never known anyone else, not even himself.

He'd be a liar if he said he wouldn't miss her touch, but her soul inside his was more than enough to live for. He actually felt the memory of her smile in his heart at this realization. Whatever he'd accomplish for humanity – no, not just humanity, but for life; this new glorious form of life that they were now? He'd owe it all to her.

Shepard knew it too; she told him so.

Description
Mass Effect 3 Ending Spoilers below. Read and view at your own risk.

Art is white colored pencils on black paper with PS.
______________________________________________

The retreat from earth was a horror. It was a blur Kaidan only participated in because he was damned if he was going to lose his students too. At the time, it was all he could do to function. Stay focused Shepard always said, so despite the chatter over the coms; they were all wiped out, no one made it he just set his mind to getting his spec ops team to the Normandy and off the planet before it was utterly annihilated.

And then everything just went crazy. The arms of the Citadel burst open like a flower and damned if Kaidan knew it was Shepard. He had a momentary flash of hope but it was torn away just as quickly. The sky lit up like a firework and the Crucible and the Citadel were just gone. It didn't happen instantly and Joker was speeding the Normandy away, but it sure seemed to all happen at once.

Memories were funny like that.

Before Kaidan even had the chance to let the full impact of what had happened break over him – before he had to eat his words I can't lose you again the Normandy was overtaken by the light. Everything glowed and it felt like the world disconnected behind his eyes.

It took a moment for Kaidan to realize that the disconnect was just that his head didn't hurt.

Even when his migraines were mostly controlled, the implant caused a constant dull ache. He'd learned to ignore the pain, but it was always there. And now, bathed in this strange glow that penetrated right through the hull, the pain was gone.

That's when he felt her. There was really no other way to describe it. Kaidan knew it was Shepard. The full importance of the light quickly dawned as information began to integrate with his brain. It was like downloading a file on to his Omnitool, except his whole self was the tool now.

Legion tried to explain – they were software and the body was only a platform – except new software was uploading and it was rewriting the hardware too. They were changing, all of them. He could see it on Joker's face and in the new glimmer of emotion in EDI's eyes. It was happening to all of them, organic and synthetic alike.

Shepard was uploading the wisdom of a million years of reaper cycles and the catalyst, and god it all just made sense.

Everything that you are the catalyst said and Shepard did what she always did. She gave everything she had and everything she was to save them. This time she did more than save his life again; she changed life as Kaidan and everyone else knew it into something different.

Something better.

He looked down at his skin and watched as tendrils of neon light danced across his flesh and though they were just patterns and webs, each intricate circuit wrote her name into him.

Maybe he hadn't taken enough time when he had it and maybe he hadn't always loved Shepard as well as he should have before, but now? Now she was part of him and he'd have forever to live up to what she gave him. His memories of her; battle, diplomacy, love replayed themselves in glaring clarity.

He wanted only to hold her again when he watched her walk away in the ruins of London. But now, she was inside him and closer than they ever could have been before. Was she this much a part of everyone else too? Kaidan doubted it; and even if it were true, who else would know to feel her inside, to know who she was?

Once he'd let his guard down, really trusted her again – well, Kaidan Alenko knew Shepard in a way he'd never known anyone else, not even himself.

He'd be a liar if he said he wouldn't miss her touch, but her soul inside his was more than enough to live for. He actually felt the memory of her smile in his heart at this realization. Whatever he'd accomplish for humanity – no, not just humanity, but for life; this new glorious form of life that they were now? He'd owe it all to her.

Shepard knew it too; she told him so.