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UPDATE: READ THE NEW EXTENSION TO THIS POST. LINK IN DESCRIPTION!
Despite the few who haven't caught on yet and still believe that "kids hate reading," we all know that these days, reading is popular.
"I'm just like Belle from Beauty in the Beast, because I love books," teenage girls are saying, while teens of both genders are sitting down to enjoy things like Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Eragon, Lord of the Rings and other more obscure titles.
This is just what we've been hoping for, isn't it? Kids and teens finally taking an interest in literature. It has finally become cool. They're thinking of themselves as rebels or nerds or hipsters, all of which are just new versions of the word cool.
Ah, finally people are spending their time having actual constructive hobbies.
...Or are they?
Here I am going to explore just how this isn't necessarily true; how sometimes your time can be better spent playing a good, mind-building video game or watching a wholesome, creative cartoon. Some books.... a frightening percentage of Young Adult books, are frankly, crap.
There would be a lot to cover, so in this deviation, I specifically want to talk about the romance... or lack thereof; and by that I mean, a shallow, twisted, hare-brained counterfeit version of love.
To start off, I will give some definitions and pair them up with words to show you what I mean and what I don't mean.
Real Love: Not a feeling, though it can produce them. The conscious choice to be selfless toward someone despite changing feelings and circumstances. Has nothing to do with yourself in any way, shape or form; i.e, "I love him because he's always there for me," etc. To love, by its nature, is to will the good of the beloved, even if it means not always giving into their wishes. To love is furthermore, to be willing to do anything to achieve the good of the beloved.
Attraction: The action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something.
Romantic Love: Romantic Love is a combination of Real Love and Attraction, though the latter may not constantly apply.
Fake Love: Attraction falsely calling itself Romantic Love, though it lacks the even more crucial element of Real Love.
Here are some examples of Romantic Love portrayed in Young Adult literature:
From Maximum Ride:
Fang turned his head and gave me one of his classic half smiles—you know, like the kind of smile Mona Lisa would have had if she were a guy. A teenage guy with longish scruffy hair, dark eyes, and a leather jacket. Mmmmm.
and
I love you. I love your smile, your snarl, your grin, your face when you're sleeping. I love your hair streaming out behind you as we fly, with the sunlight making it shine, if it doesn't have too much mud or blood in it. I love seeing your wings spreading out, white and brown and tan and speckled, and the tiny, downy feathers right at the top of your shoulders. I love your eyes, whether they're cold or calculating or suspicious or laughing or warm, like when you look at me.
From Heroes of Olympus:
Percy smiled at her - that sarcastic troublemaker smile that had annoyed her for years but eventually had become endearing. His sea-green eyes were as gorgeous as she remembered. His dark hair was swept to one side, like he'd just come from a walk on the beach. He looked even better than he had six months ago - tanner and taller, leaner and more muscular.
Percy threw his arms around her. They kissed and for a moment nothing else mattered. An asteroid could have hit the planet and wiped out all life, and Annabeth wouldn't have cared.
Besides being puke-invokingly cheesy, what else is wrong with these?
Well... If you don't mind the cheesiness, not too much, right? It's not so much what they are, as what they're lacking (I'm talking about the books as wholes right now, not the individual paragraphs). The thing is that, ALL the "romantic" parts are merely shallow paragraphs like this. That's it. No mention of anything besides attraction whatsoever. The focus is completely selfish... "I can't be happy without you! I love you for ME."
In Hollow City, the new sequel to Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, the main character, Jacob admits that he only went on the adventure because, "I love you, you idiot," and then goes on to literally tell us that he didn't do it because of "some stupid sense of duty." He selfishly does it to get satisfaction from being with his girl, not because he's overly concerned with doing the right thing, or any of that nonsense.
Then to make it even worse, after his girl convinces him that he "could never be with her," he decides to go home. Note: she doesn't convince him that she'll be all right... just the opposite. They're in great danger, hence the reason she wants him to leave. So what does he do? Insist that he stays and helps her anyway? Nope, he decides to look out for himself. No relationship here, nothing to be gained, right?
In the Mark of Athena, Percy admits that he still feels like he "doesn't really understand Annabeth," even though they're in a relationship. Huh? Are relationships just things you get in as a way of getting to know each other or should they be with someone you're seriously sure you want to be committed to? Maybe it makes sense to go on some dates to learn about each other, but why do they need to keep kissing and holding hands and garbage like that if they still apparently "don't really understand each other?" Oh yeah, because Percy thinks Annabeth is cute and Annabeth thinks Percy is gorgeous, and that's all they need.
Maximum Ride might be the worst. Her love interest, Fang (who, might I point out, feels exactly like an OC made up by an unoriginal teenage girl from fanfiction.net) is supposedly "her best friend." Unfortunately, we wouldn't know since the author only TELLS us this, but doesn't really show them interacting enough in the story. What we do get are plenty of paragraphs like the one in the example above. That's the height of their love as far as we're shown. Pretty sad.
Now, I'm not saying that in these stories the characters would never try to help each other out, it's just that there is a definite lack of emphasis on the selfless, Real Love side of their Romantic Love, and a HUGE over emphasis on attraction. It's shallow, pure and simple.
Things like these and Twilight (yes, I am comparing the romance aspect of these series to Twilight, sorry) are what give teenagers crappy ideas of being in love. When they base their relationship on the mere selfishness of "well, we both have crushes on each other," and get wrapped up in using the other person like a drug for their own pleasure, forgetting completely about the selfless part, their relationships are NOT going to be truly meaningful, however Percy and Annabeth's might be portrayed.
It's getting tiresome to read about twerpy teenagers and their side-plot soap-operas -"Do I really love them? I just don't know. Gee, I'm SO confused over how I feel about him!" - when the answer is really so simple. Instead of looking at how they selfishly FEEL, why don't they ask themselves what they are or aren't willing to DO for that person?
One of the worst love triangles I've ever read about would have to be from the Kane Chronicles where Sadie has to choose between either Anubis (who is conveniently in hot, teenage boy form for some reason), and some guy with no personality called Walt. Guess who she ends up with at the end? Well, the two boys end up turning into the same person and sharing a body, so she conveniently gets to date both at the same time! What a happy ending. Sadie gets as much pleasure as she can, all wrapped into one. How ideal! Now they can BOTH comfort her whenever she's crying in a corner. Selflessness? What's that?
And what about the Hunger Games, Catching Fire? Katniss has been traumatized by being put in the Hunger Games, a horrendous, evil, scarring event where she finds herself having to kill other children. If she doesn't marry Peeta, the government could get angry and kill her family and loved ones. A war could break out at any moment. You know the story.
And then, this shallow MORON named Gale starts getting mad, because... she doesn't feel like being in a romantic relationship with him? I can see he's really looking out for her best interests there. Oh wait, but he has a FEELING that he loves her. Real Love absolutely wouldn't be saying, "you know, Katniss. I can see that there's a war going on and people are getting killed here. Maybe I can reassess my priorities and not worry about being girlfriend and boyfriend at the moment. Clearly you have a lot on your plate, so I'll selflessly step aside, which would really be best for you in this situation."
But no. He acts like a clown about it and actually gets angry. Now if love evidently isn't looking out for each other's best interests here, then what is it? Giving each other kisses and holding hands? That sounds like a swell idea, Gale. You must be so disappointed that you're unable to do those things in the middle of a crisis.
How about Teresa and Thomas from the Maze Runner series? The book starts out with the guy having no memories of anything whatsoever, and over the short period of time that passes somewhere around the last half of the book where the girl makes a few appearances, they're suddenly madly in love by book two.
Not only was their display of so-called love shallow in the story, but what also showed through was the bizarre desperation with which the romance was thrown in. Maybe considering Romantic Love such an essential is what leads us to water it down in an attempt to make it look easier to develop than it really is.
You can see this happening in real life too.
At schools, sometimes what happens is that kids get bored. When you're all stuck together in a building for that long every day, there are going to be certain phenomena... such as inventing a little game called Dating.
Let me introduce some more words I'm going to use (note: they are my own definitions, not necessarily traditional ones. I'm going to use them to help further illustrate my points).
Being in Love: When two people of equal eligibility have Romantic Love for each other and make conscious decisions to be committed to each other.
Dating: Not to be confused with the act of going on dates, Dating is a twisted, lesser version of Being in Love, in which, two of any people who feel like it are attracted to each other and make the conscious/-ish decision to show physical displays of affection (and maybe text each other a little more).
Fan-mance: A false type of love, derived from the words "romance" and "fan-fiction" (seeing as fan-fictions are a good place to look for it). Can be either a disproportionate mixture of Attraction compared to Real Love, or just Attraction on its own. Unlike plain Fake Love, Fan-mance can come in all shapes and sizes. Whether it be furries with multiple partners or animu characters that are married to objects, this "love" is rarely looking out for the good of their love interest. Pleasure is key.
Fan-Fiction: A fantasy reality (differing from a mere fantasy world) where universal principles of logic do not apply, resulting in strings of words that can give the illusion of making sense when in reality are mere nonsense despite what we apply them to. Example: An object can remain blue, even if it stops being blue. (Assume for the sake of the example that "being blue" has the same intrinsic meaning in both halves of the sentence). Another example: You can love someone merely by using them for pleasure or other personal means.
I'm sorry if I ripped on any books unfairly. Some of them I read a while ago, so I apologize if anything I remembered was inaccurate. I do, however stand by my point and that in general, romance from YA books is nothing but rubbish. Be careful what you read.... it can rot your brain.
Related content
Comments: 106
WildWhimzyAngel [2016-11-09 00:45:42 +0000 UTC]
A lot of these characters you mention seem to be under the 'suspension bridge effect.' If you don't know what that is, here's a wiki description:
"The suspension bridge effect is a "misattribution of arousal", in which someone experiences the effects of fear of a physical danger while meeting someone, and mistakenly believes that the other person is the cause of their physical responses (such as elevated heart rate, shortness of breath)."
Basically, they think they're in love because of the adrenaline rush around them and mistake it for love, or just love that person because they associate them with that feeling. When the danger's gone, I think half the time they just stay with that person out of loyalty not realizing that staying with someone because you "owe them" isn't love.
Can I also add to this list that fighting all the time and arguing is NOT usually romantic chemistry. (I'm looking at you 96% of romantic--ANYTHING.)
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absolutelymonstrous [2016-08-01 17:42:06 +0000 UTC]
Print out as many copies of this article as you can and put them in everyone's mailboxes.
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CaptainWolfe11 [2016-07-28 06:51:57 +0000 UTC]
This is such a great article, and I couldn't agree more about how poorly romance is portrayed in YA literature. It seems that in media of all kinds, it is hard to find perfect descriptions of love. My favorite examples of really fleshed out relationships--as in, both partners would do anything for each other, even if that meant putting aside themselves--are in Star Trek. I always thought the portrayal of how much Comm. Tucker loved T'Pol in Enterprise was spot on, and Worf and Jadzia's relationship in DS9 was similar. Worf risked his entire career and the lives of Alliance soldiers because he couldn't leave his injured wife behind to die.
However, I do have to say that, though there are many, many, many examples to the contrary, there are Fanfics that write this whole romance thing well. One in a thousand, maybe, but sometimes you find a diamond in the mud and it's worth every misspelled, grammatically incorrect, Mary Sue ridden fanfic you had to skim to get there.
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TheWritingWZ [2016-06-19 15:33:35 +0000 UTC]
ah yes, horribly written romances!
Who doesn't like it to make fun them?
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RoaringWinds [2016-05-23 16:34:29 +0000 UTC]
You do make a lot of good points about the love depicted in some books because... it's not really love. I really wish that authors depicted it in a fair light. It doesn't really provide a lot of truth about the idea of "love" and it just creates a very selfish and thrilling perception, ignoring the fact that it's both sides that need to work at it.
I hate love triangles so much and how it's always two people competing. The very first love triangle that seemed justified and so much healthier was when I saw the anime adaptation of Say I Love You (it doesn't count as a YA book but I believe that it brings reality out well). I mean... Why can't it be healthy like that? There's a guy who likes his best friend's girlfriend but he supports both of them in the relationship they have. Nothing bitter between the two guys that are best friends and it's very positive too.
Great analysis over all and these are good points to keep in mind when writing.
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ASonOfAthena [2016-02-02 04:21:03 +0000 UTC]
At last I have found this article again. I spent hours here looking around for it, under the wrong title naturally. Its a very interesting bit of work and I look forward to seeing the rest of the authors articles now that I have it pinned down.
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Adam-Walker [2015-05-18 10:16:25 +0000 UTC]
I think that this guide will come in very useful one day.
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ComanderSprings [2015-04-13 13:58:35 +0000 UTC]
Yay, this was a great read! It helped me a lot
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mmpratt99 [2015-04-08 21:54:24 +0000 UTC]
Yes! I fully agree! Young Adult books are mostly puke-inducing crap! Just absolute rubbish fit for only hamster bedding!
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PeanutbutterSandman [2015-03-19 13:58:41 +0000 UTC]
I am. So. Glad. Somebody finally took a swipe at James Patterson.
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Capsura In reply to PeanutbutterSandman [2016-01-11 01:58:31 +0000 UTC]
Lol! Which one did he write?
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to PeanutbutterSandman [2015-03-20 01:34:02 +0000 UTC]
Haha! One of my least favorite authors, to be honest.
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CuteCat213 [2015-03-07 16:13:47 +0000 UTC]
When looking at your advice and how to actually put it into practice, you're essentially advising back to the age-old Show, Don't Tell, right? Encouraging us to focus more on the emotional development of the characters in question instead of the physical aspects. That's what I try to do in my writing: emphasize more the emotional interactions of my characters, and I HATE using words like 'beautiful' or 'handsome' in ways like 'she's gorgeous' ect. One of the ways I like to use it --and have recently-- is having my characters place trust in each other for the first time and talk about their difficult pasts, and when they finished, one of them told the other they were 'pretty', not in looks, but in that they possessed a beautiful soul. (Because if you can't stand the other person, looks and attractiveness don't matter much, do they?)
One thing I'm very curious of, if you've read it (or anyone else who sees this comment): what is your take on the 'romance' of Ayla and Jondalar in the Earth's Children series by Jean M. Auel? (I think I spelled her name right...)
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Lily-Lucid [2015-02-25 01:34:52 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, I totally agree with you. I'm so tired of reading romance in YA. Can someone PLEASE write a YA novel where there ISN'T some annoying-ass love triangle/rectangle??? Or at least the romance is taken care of QUICKLY?
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Capsura In reply to Lily-Lucid [2016-01-11 01:59:30 +0000 UTC]
Meet my fantasy story, female action heroes without pretty faces and breasts don't have romantic subplots.
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Capsura In reply to Lily-Lucid [2016-01-13 21:56:21 +0000 UTC]
And nobody uses over-complicated legendary swords.
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REIdepenguin [2015-02-21 15:04:27 +0000 UTC]
that's very interesting. one of the reasons why I don't read much YA books now is because I grew tired of the fanmance. the Divergent series broke the camel's back for me. I couldn't even Finish insurgent because the angst was so terribly handled.
though I kinda disagree with you that all YA books and romances are complete and utter shit. I'm the kind of person who believes not everything is completely "black" or completely "white" and that good current YA romance is bound to exist.
if you know any good YA romance I'd love to know of it ^_^
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Jester-Hellequin [2015-01-22 09:10:59 +0000 UTC]
soooooooooo naruto + hinata = fake love huh I figured
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roses504 [2014-08-05 16:55:44 +0000 UTC]
This is really helpful, though I do support Percabeth in Heroes of Olympus, I didn't let my bias get in the way. I completely agree with you, and I will definitely use this info to write a better example of love interests in my story.
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KawanoTsuki [2014-08-05 15:24:56 +0000 UTC]
Very refreshing article, thank you very much for writing it! A lot of the couples you mentioned always irked me while I was reading the books. I never really knew why, but now I do!
Just curious, have you seen the movie How to Train Your Dragon? If so, what do you think about the relationship between Astrid and Hiccup?
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AurumArrows [2014-08-03 01:27:40 +0000 UTC]
Your tips are really helpful. I've never been an "expert" at writing love interests because, well, it's just so confusing. I hate how YA books are written nowadays. The relationships are so... flat to say the least. Heck, they make me avoid the science fiction genre entirely since they're pretty much clones of the Hunger Games.
As another person below said before, old couples are the best to read about. It makes me tear up when I think about all the things they went through together. That, and i find it slightly easier to write about them than teenage love (even though I'm a teenager myself).
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deathtopink300 [2014-07-23 22:36:35 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much for writing this!!! This is why I hate Percebeth(It's the most cliché romance in book history) and Sadie/Walt/Anubis(She's practically having a threesome just because she didn't want to make a choice)!!!
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xXMaploryXx [2014-06-18 19:40:42 +0000 UTC]
Honestly this is so on point. Love your deviations about literature! Keep making more please!!
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unicornomics [2014-06-10 14:40:07 +0000 UTC]
My favorite types of love interests?
Old married couples,the kind that are clearly in love not the eternally bickering comic strip type. Like the couple from "Up"
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to unicornomics [2014-06-18 15:40:15 +0000 UTC]
They were 10000000 times better than Percabeth xP
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nightshade43 [2014-04-02 01:51:09 +0000 UTC]
"Do I really love them? I just don't know. Gee, I'm SO confused over how I feel about him!"
Wait, isn't that romantic comedy in its entirety? They always annoy me for their over reaction and stupid behaviour.
I really like your analysis, and I feel part of the problem is that authors
a) Don't understand real love and how it applies to fiction or
b) Children are stupid. They wouldn't be able to identify real love so why bother?
It's like how stupid children cartoons can get. You get clever ones like Adventure Time that are actually deep once you analyse it, and then there's Max Steel. Pure, boring, uncreative drivel that rips off things from far superior shows.
Why do they even BOTHER with romance in teenage fiction? As a teenager I loathed those parts. I wanted action and suspence and wicked monsters. But then again I read the Hobbit, Harry Potter, Black Beauty and Terry Pratchet's Disk World series as a teenager.
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Chronophontes [2014-03-11 20:45:35 +0000 UTC]
I agree with those who say that love isn't "self-sacrificing". It can be; I think it requires a willingness to make sacrifices, but that willingness need not be called on, and usually isn't in any serious way. To me, love is growing together, maybe (probably) enduring some rough spots. Love can also be real without being reciprocated - think of most parents. (Not all, of course.)
Naturally, love is hard if not impossible to define. 1 Corinthians 13 has always been my own standard - "am I loving like that?" But then there's M. Scott Peck, who defines love in effect as dutiful performance of duty, however repulsive. Repulsion is not part of ANY love.
I've never liked romances much, not so much because of the silly approximations of "love" as because of the silly approximations of people - prettified stick figures with an occasional Mary Sue thrown in. Most romances are pornography for people who don't like pornography.
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SylverFire-Lilithe [2014-03-11 20:22:07 +0000 UTC]
Interesting. I like your point of view. It's refreshing.
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luna4everandever [2014-03-11 00:29:42 +0000 UTC]
I agree COMPLETELY! I mean, c'mon people, DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY DISPLAY THE WONDERFUL THING THAT IS LOVE??? I haven't read those books, but, I can infer from this piece that the display of 'love' is pretty doggone bull crap. Thank you for this piece, I'm writing, er, typing, a novel, and this will help! AMAZING! Once again, THANK YOU!!!
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Mu10 [2014-03-10 17:18:40 +0000 UTC]
This is actually going to help me with my character's love interests, I'm aiming for real love so thanks for posting this marvelous piece.
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JWA2277 [2014-03-01 13:31:38 +0000 UTC]
This is also a good cultural comment, what we read {spend money to say we read or have on our shelf for everyone to see but not riley} shows us where the world is going today!
The concept of "love" As selfless, or sacrifice is lost on the world today. Everyone seems to be in it for themselves and nobody wants to give up anything for anyone else.
I would love to be in real "Love", but modern girls today... they just don't get it.
"I have my life and career, and all that I want.... Ho! I suppose I need a boyfriend or husband too because my besties have one. Kids and babies are cute, so I should have a a few as well. When it gets tough I will divorce, {with no responsibility at all} and treat the kids as hokey pucks to spite one another, or just throw them out for the world to raise."
Don't get me wrong MEN {or lack their of, overage boys} are just as much to blame for this society rot, throwing away woman when yo don't like them any more.
takes two to sink the ship "bad steering and bad crew"
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ink-singer [2014-02-15 04:34:03 +0000 UTC]
Wow this is great. I agree with every concept you bring up, though I can't say I didn't enjoy reading a lot of the books you critiqued anyway. I know that wasn't your point, though, so it doesn't matter I love how you defined you terms before you went into the critique - you basically said that the love portrayed in the crappy examples isn't real love - in other words, it isn't mature love. I also appreciated that you started this whole thing out by saying that reading is cool now. It is, and I love that it is! I'm an aspiring novelist, so I love hearing from people that reading is "in" again... it puts me in business
But anyway, well done on this deviation! It was well written, well said, simple but deep, and a very witty, enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing!
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to ink-singer [2014-02-21 16:31:47 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for your comment!
Yup, I enjoyed most of these books too. Every book has its issues it seems, but at least we can just ignore those parts, or even learn from them. Good luck with your writing, by the way.
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ink-singer In reply to MakingFunOfStuff [2014-02-22 20:52:27 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome!
You're right, but I think it's every author's ambition to do well in every aspect of their writing, especially the important ideals such as real love~ At least, that's what I aspire to do Thank you!
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ink-singer In reply to MakingFunOfStuff [2014-03-04 06:06:13 +0000 UTC]
Haha yes, I get your point and I wholeheartedly agree with you. I grew up reading a lot more than most kids my age, and WAY more than any kids do nowadays (lol that makes me sound really old), but I think that a lot of kids would prefer a book that's interesting and challenging over one that's too easy to read and simpler than their intellect level... Did that make any sense?
Agreed.
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GoldenNocturna [2014-02-08 01:54:24 +0000 UTC]
While I winced when you ripped into the Hunger Games, Maximum Ride, Percy Jackson, and fan fiction, you do have a lot of valid points. What I think is the problem with YA romance is that no one--and I mean NO ONE--ever talks about crushes/infatuation. It's ALWAYS straight up 'love'. I've never been in a relationship, but even I know that you can't find your soul mate or true love in your teens; you're just not mature enough. So whenever I write romance between teens, I always describe it as a crush, not love. It just makes more sense to me.
And I think by 'Dating', you mean 'Public Displays of Affection'; dating is...well, as you put it, going on dates (in an attempt for a couple to get to know each other better and see if they're compatible/should further their relationship), while public displays of affection (better known as PDA), is making out in public or something similar (basically an obnoxious, ostentatious 'show' of 'love'). It's one thing to hold hands; it's another to make it impossible for someone to reach their destination by making out in their pathway (I've seen this both in high school AND college ).
But yeah, that's basically my view on the whole thing. And why I'll never watch rom-coms and most likely why I struggle to find 'adult' (things meant for an adult demographic) stuff to read.
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GoldenNocturna In reply to GoldenNocturna [2014-02-08 01:57:46 +0000 UTC]
I also forgot to add that I believe that it isn't necessarily the stories themselves that are the problem. It's the fact that society fails to realize that they're just that---STORIES---that is.
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jaio1 [2014-02-05 17:37:31 +0000 UTC]
This is an amazing article. I've read most of theses books you mentioned, and I always felt the love was unrealistic. What are some good YA books with "Real Love" in them? Do you think the relationship between Ron and Hermione was based on fake love as well?
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to jaio1 [2014-02-11 07:14:56 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the comment.
Interesting questions I do have to give Ron and Hermione credit. They seemed more reasonable and realistic about it than characters from other books (but that's true with almost everything about HP books compared to other modern YA books).
I don't remember Ron and Hermione's relationship being based on "his adorable freckly face" or her "shining curly hair" more than their real, true friendship that was developing throughout the books. I'd say their relationship was a pretty decent one, though we don't get to see too much of them as boyfriend and girlfriend.
Personally, I'd probably trust J.K Rowling not to make that part stupid, but I might be biased.
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AmaltheaGrey [2014-02-02 20:55:49 +0000 UTC]
I don't think selflessness exists at all, but I agree with you that love is about giving, not only receiving. In fact, I think it's just as much about giving as it is about receiving, but I get your General meaning here, I guess, and I agree with it.
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