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#myth #pandora #pandorasbox #rebellion #gameofgenres #postapocalypse
Published: 2018-07-21 05:45:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 4445; Favourites: 46; Downloads: 0
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The children, as they always did, perched on the Stones for the Evening Telling. The Teller stood, face in white, Stick of Truths in his hands. When it was such, only the Teller could say stories and tell truths. All others were to stay silent unless called to respond. Even the Chief-In-The-Walls could not speak if he were in attendance, although tonight’s Telling was only for the children and Mums.
Behind the Teller, the Burning Mums tended the Telling Fire. It kept the Teller in silhouette, and the children’s faces sweaty with its heat, hotter than usual tonight. The girls especially scratched at the cloth over their mouths.
Further back, seated on wider Stones, the Mums heavy with child attended the Telling as well, mouths also covered.
Tonight, the Telling was of the Beginning, and the Teller was on a tear. He told, spittle flying, of death on the winds, of the Great Plagues that swept the world like a broom, leaving only dust and dead behind. WEH-POH-NY-ZED began the chant. The Teller began it, as always. The boys took it up, dutifully. The Mums and girls remained silent, their eyes cast down with ritual solemnity, as the Teller admonished each in turn to remain thus, to produce children and milk to feed them, and that to fail in this duty was to risk unleashing the Plagues once more.
Thus it had been for generations. Thus it will continue, if the cities were to gleam again, and didn’t you want that, love? He would raise each girl’s head in turn. They wouldn’t answer, of course.
Then he would lay hands upon the Mums’ rounded bellies, and issue grave warnings to each. The Village wishes to hear the cries of infants, not silence. A woman that cannot give the Village a crying infant is little more than a parasite, and will join her child in the earth.
A boy fidgets, almost asks a question, but another stares him into silence.
The Teller said his truths with a smile, of course. It was only right that he said them. Thus it has been for generations. It was expected.
He visited each Mum in turn, and then, the last. She was smallest, in the back. And though farthest from the flames, she seemed taken by the heat, and had fallen faint.
Annoyed, the Teller set aside his Stick of Truths to stoop over her. He gripped her chin, opened an eyelid with his fingers to see if she would respond.
It was only, in the last fragment of an instant, that he caught a reflection in her eye of motion behind him.
They had no metal knives. Burning Mums were not allowed such weapons. But they did have wooden stakes sharpened to fine points, daggers of carved bone and antler, and one held a torch of tightly-wound cloth dipped in tar.
And they had anger.
Thus it had been for generations.
When dawn broke, and Chief-in-the-Walls came with his retainers to see what had become of the Teller, they found only a charred skeleton in the firepit, smouldering before the Stones.
All of the Mums were gone. Every single one. And six boys. The ones at the Telling last night. Food had been taken. Livestock. Horses. Vehicles. Weapons. Guns, and ammunition. Fuel.
Several sentries had been killed as well, but quickly. Neatly. Only the Teller had received such a death.
Stuffed in the charred skeleton’s mouth, a cloth, the same once used as a Mum’s mouth cover. The edges were burned, but a message inscribed in charcoal was still understandable. They were the symbols the Tellers taught them since they were children.
“WEH-POH-NY-ZED.”
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Comments: 62
LunaticStar [2019-06-29 23:54:41 +0000 UTC]
I was too stupid for this one, I had to read the comments to see how I got memed. Good job on being clever!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Memnalar In reply to LunaticStar [2019-06-30 00:29:05 +0000 UTC]
Nah. All it means is that whatever I did here didn't land with you, and that's okay. That is absolutely not a reflection on you.
I appreciate your honesty. I always have. Thank you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LunaticStar In reply to Memnalar [2019-06-30 01:27:03 +0000 UTC]
The worst part is I have done puzzle rooms and I can solve ridiculous puzzles or at least assist my team and this one went FWSHHOOOM over my head. XD Besides not getting the punchline tho I still liked it a lot.
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EveryNextDream [2019-05-30 11:17:34 +0000 UTC]
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saintartaud [2019-05-28 19:02:50 +0000 UTC]
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Memnalar In reply to saintartaud [2019-05-29 03:59:57 +0000 UTC]
Hey, thanks very much. I've run into trouble with flash, either going way overboard and having to prune them back, or going too far in the other direction where it sounds like I'm writing an outline. I was worried about doing that here. Very happy that you thought it clicked.
I appreciate the thoughts!
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randomaxesss [2019-05-21 16:33:26 +0000 UTC]
Congrats on the DD. I feel like your ham-fisting is quite eloquent.
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Memnalar In reply to randomaxesss [2019-05-21 20:10:58 +0000 UTC]
Well I'll be damned. How the hell are you, Harry?
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randomaxesss In reply to Memnalar [2019-05-25 19:29:28 +0000 UTC]
Yes, Harry lol
I'm doing alright. I dip in and out of here on occassion.
Chipping away, you know the routine.
I decided to check on DD's and there you were.
I've always admired your writing.
How have you been?
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Penfury [2019-05-18 20:59:42 +0000 UTC]
Congrats on the DD. I always enjoy your Flash fiction. You say so much in so few words.
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sparrowsfriend [2019-05-18 00:37:36 +0000 UTC]
congratulations on the well deserved DD. 621 well chosen words!
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akrasiel [2019-05-18 00:29:50 +0000 UTC]
This was great when you wrote it, and it's now it's great and topical
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neurotype-on-discord [2019-05-17 19:52:46 +0000 UTC]
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Memnalar In reply to neurotype-on-discord [2019-05-18 14:14:57 +0000 UTC]
Wow. Sounds like a combination of Octavia Butler and Margaret Atwood (which means you're right). I will check it out.
And thank you.
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neurotype-on-discord In reply to Memnalar [2019-05-18 17:21:07 +0000 UTC]
Heh, yeah. It's not the most inventive storyline, but the themes are on point.
Always!
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GDeyke [2019-05-17 15:12:59 +0000 UTC]
Definitely a story for the times. I'm glad of this angry triumph.
Especially like the line A boy fidgets, almost asks a question, but another stares him into silence. The women's oppression is obvious, inarguable; you've done well with showing that the patriarchy hurts everyone, without minimising the suffering - or the triumph - of the women in particular.
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Memnalar In reply to GDeyke [2019-05-18 14:11:58 +0000 UTC]
Yes, that's exactly the point of that bit. That's also why the women took the boys with them. They haven't yet been (fully) poisoned.
The patriarchy is overwhelming to boys, and it begins early. The "lessons" we are taught about ourselves and how we are "supposed" to view and treat girls - and by extension, women - are appalling. I very much wanted to nod to it here, and I'm glad you picked up on it.
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ikazon [2019-05-16 19:19:34 +0000 UTC]
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LadyLincoln [2019-05-16 19:09:25 +0000 UTC]
Congratulations on your DD, dearheart. This is an amazing piece!
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Tinselfire [2019-05-16 14:53:31 +0000 UTC]
WEH-POH-NY-ZED
It feels like I'm missing the punchline. See it is a warped phonetic reading of "weaponized", but there seems to be more to it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Memnalar In reply to Tinselfire [2019-05-16 21:13:10 +0000 UTC]
Nope, you got it. The idea is that the Great Plagues were caused by a weaponized biological agent of some kind. These people are probably a few generations removed from that, so all they know is the word "weaponized" and that it means death, not so much the true nature of it. I didn't have anything more complicated than that in mind.
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Tinselfire In reply to Memnalar [2019-05-18 05:10:46 +0000 UTC]
Ah, I see. I thought it might be US English wordplay, but it makes sense for the language to have changed a lot in a brief amount of time, especially with events fading into legend - and some unexpected parts surviving almost unchanged. The thought that an item from South Park might coincidentally become part of an actual religion is a chilling one.
Was a very dark read, and all for the better. Currently writing some post-apocalyptic fantasy myself where society has been reduced to savannah hunter-gatherers, the sort of societies that tend towards being relatively egalitarian. Was a sobering reminder not all apocalypse survivors are as fortunate.
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LindArtz [2019-05-16 07:41:06 +0000 UTC]
Very nicely done!!
Congratulations on your much deserved DD!
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Memnalar In reply to KreepingSpawn [2019-04-17 18:33:35 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I have a thing for post-apocalyptic settings, but never do anything longer than short stories.
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KreepingSpawn In reply to Memnalar [2019-04-19 00:40:31 +0000 UTC]
Many short stories that link up become one long story.
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barefootliam [2019-03-26 16:05:18 +0000 UTC]
Haha well, it’s maybe a little blunt but it has atmosphere and it has a sense of fun.
kljklm m
Oh, and the cat liked it. Now to stop her from kneading holes in my lap. Pardon the interruption. Where were we? Haha yes. Maybe a subtler chanted phrase would help? But i did enjoy this.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Memnalar In reply to barefootliam [2019-03-27 00:03:50 +0000 UTC]
Heh; I've never been all that subtle. Not sure how to start.
Thanks very much for reading! I appreciate your thoughts very much. And the cat's!
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barefootliam In reply to Memnalar [2019-03-27 00:58:21 +0000 UTC]
i do not know how to teach someone to be subtle
but probably You do fine and are using an iron on me
Now i have a dog here but she’s too big and heavy (60Lb) to climb up onto my lap; i’ve had our other dog on my lap but he’s a corgi and fits better! The cat, however is wea-pon-i-zed with claws.
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Zara-Arletis [2018-11-24 02:52:06 +0000 UTC]
This is a fantastic vision of an apocalyptic dystopia and you manage to paint it in such a small space. That is so hard to do so well, but you did ^_^ I have to admit, my eyebrows were crawling up as that Teller was Telling. The ending, for good or ill, made me smile. WEH-POH-NY-ZED indeed.
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Memnalar In reply to Zara-Arletis [2018-11-24 19:28:52 +0000 UTC]
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