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Description
Monday came by fast, mainly because Amethyst, as soon as she got home on Sunday, went back to sleep didn't move from her bed or left her room for the rest of the day. And due to still feeling a bit sick, she didn't bother eating dinner that night, or having breakfast this morning. But despite still feeling sick, she decided to go to school. She would hate it more than anything to miss any lessons and to make up homework that she missed.

Amethyst actually decided to arrive a little early today, nearly an hour before her first class. She wanted to have time to herself and think about what happened on Sunday. The decision she made, it was both good, but it was also bad, at least she thought. She doesn't know how much Taehyun read of her journal, but she started to feel a little uncomfortable about it. She doesn't completely trust Taehyun yet, but she knew she needed to tell someone before she goes crazy, like almost taking her life yesterday, which she is still grateful that he stopped her from doing so.

While thinking about the event of almost taking her life, something doesn't seem to fit. She remembered a few things Taehyun said. "If you go...I'll go with you." "I rather die than feeling guilty that I didn't save you." But she was more concerned about the first thought. Why would Taehyun say such a thing like that? Why would he put his own life on the line if she was to take her own? Amethyst is starting to believe that Taehyun is hiding something from her. She wouldn't be surprised though, since Taehyun is full of surprises, being kind, warm, and perfect in everything he does from what she knows so far.

What am I thinking? He's annoying...he's stupid...he's not all that great......Amethyst thought. But then she sighed afterward. I don't know...

She looked up for the first time while walking and saw something new on the announcement board. It looked like a sign-up sheet for something that's coming up. Amethyst carefully read it. University Festival: Talent Show Case. Amethyst was surprised to suddenly see such a thing. This could be good for her future singing career, performing in front of many people. She looked at who signed up already, and to her surprise, she spots Taehyun's name. Really? I wonder what he's going to do?

"Are you going to sign up too?"

Amethyst jumped out of her skin at the sudden noise from another person. She doesn't have to turn around to question who it was.

"Oh...it's you..."

"Hello to you too." Taehyun said, confused about how Amethyst greeted him.

"I...I seen you signed up." Amethyst said, not taking her eyes off the paper.

"....yeah, I did...." Taehyun become quiet. "I'm going....I'm going to sing. Are you going to sign up?"

"I might." Amethyst started giving short answers.

"You should. With a voice like yours, everyone is going to love you."

"Shut up, you don't know anything." Amethyst head snapped towards him.

What in the...Taehyun was shocked by Amethyst's response. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Because of you, no."

"What...what did I ever do? I thought-"

"You thought I completely trusted you. But you got that wrong." Amethyst said, now avoiding contact. "I said that I wanted to trust you. I never said that I completely trusted you yet. And right now, I'm still thinking if I made the right decision or not about letting you know what's going on in my life."

Wow, it's like you don't care about how I feel at all...Taehyun thought, starting to avoid looking at Amethyst himself.

Amethyst realized what she was doing when she peaked at the corner of her eye and saw Taehyun looking away. She sighed, and spoke again. "I want to trust you. I really do. But I want you to understand...I really truly want you to understand, that I'm scared."

"I do understand..." Taehyun said, barely speaking at all now.

Amethyst sighed. She doesn't want to speak any further before things get worse between the two of them. She would hate to see Taehyun cry again. Amethyst was going to turn to walk away, but Taehyun stopped her.

"I have something to give you." Taehyun's voice was still low. He took out a little box from his coat pocket and handed it to Amethyst. "You wrote that you didn't get anything on your last birthday. So...happy very belated birthday."

Amethyst was surprised, her eyes widen as she took the box. Why though? Why now? She said thank you and bowed, and Taehyun did the same gesture in return. Amethyst turned back towards the announcement board, about to open the box. Taehyun started to walk away, but his heart said otherwise. He came back, wrapping his arms around Amethyst's shoulders from behind, hugging her. Amethyst was shocked, and become a little stiff. Taehyun was on the verge of tears, but he tried with everything he got to hold them in.

I don't know how to feel about you. You have hurt me so many times, but yet, I'm still in love with you. I fall for you deeper and deeper, when I told myself it should only be a crush, something that could easily be erased if you didn't return the feeling. I still chase after you when I shouldn't. But a part of me has a feeling that you're going to change, and I won't doubt it. I believe you will change, so I will stay. It's worth getting hurt over. I will continue to be kind to you and believe in you. I will continue to be strong for you, despite how many times you hurt me. I believe in you. You will be a better person. I know of it. I don't know what I did to deserve this pain, but it's okay. I understand why you're upset and why you don't see me as someone you can fully trust yet. I'll wait for you. I'll accept your friendship when you're ready. I'll always be here when you need someone. I promise. It's worth the tears I cry for you.

After being in the same position for a few minutes, the hug that was unexpected actually felt nice, which made Amethyst relax a bit. But just when she became comfortable, Taehyun let her go, and left her without a goodbye. Amethyst wanted to know what was going and why Taehyun hugged her. But she remembered the box she was holding and opened it. The inside has silver circle inside it, with a bunch of encouraging words like joy, happiness, peace, love, courage, and so on, going around the circle. She took the circle out and realized there was a chain on it, making the present she received a necklace. She studied it carefully, appreciating the gift. But her eyes made their way back to the box when she noticed a note on the inside. She thought that it only said happy birthday, but it wasn't, and she read it carefully.

Thank you for letting me break down your walls.
But I want something more.
Please let me be your friend,
and let me guard your heart.

Amethyst didn't know how she felt about the message, but she really like the present. Her eyes made her way back to the announcement board, looking at the sign up sheet. She didn't have to think very much to make her next move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the week went by quickly as it was already Friday. But it was also the day of performance for the University Festival. The performances were going on all day, along with other activities for the students who want to do something different. The performance stage is in the school's auditorium since there is enough space for the students who want to watch the performers.

Amethyst performance time is towards the end of the day, but she is not the last person. Taehyun is a few spots before her. Actually, it's around the time for him to start taking the stage. He mentioned earlier in the week that he's going to sing. Amethyst wondered what song it was, what genre, what language, anything. But from what she heard on the first day of school, he would sound amazing either way.

Speaking of Taehyun, she hasn't heard from him all week. She hasn't even seen him around campus. She even started to worry a little. Is he okay? Is it because of me? Did I push him away? All these thoughts came to her, then she heard music starting to play. She looked up and it was Taehyun on stage. He was wearing that style of clothing and make-up she saw over the weekend. She once again found him attractive in such a style. But she noticed something wasn't right. Taehyun doesn't look well. He doesn't look very happy, his eyes showed it all. His expression made Amethyst worry a bit, thinking about what could be bothering him.

Hearing him sing, just like how Amethyst predicted, he sounds Heavenly. But something wasn't right, despite sounding good, Amethyst heard...hurt. Taehyun's voice sounds a little cold. Something is bothering him. Even the song he's singing is giving it away.

All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me
All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me, and I fell apart

Taehyun does sound like he's falling apart, and Amethyst most likely knew why. She got up from her seat and quietly left the auditorium. She needed to go over her song anyway, so she can be ready for her performance when it comes. She was going to the piano room to practice, until someone called her.

"Ya! Ami!"

Amethyst looked to see who was calling, when a Korean girl about her age came to her. "Oh, hey Eunmi!" Eunmi and Amethyst have a class together, and after a while, they became friends.

"Hey, Ami." Eunmi calls Amethyst 'Ami' because her English is not the best, therefore, Amethyst's name is too hard to pronounce. "Can I talk to you real quick?"

"Of course. What's up?" the two girls stood closer to the wall, so people can still walk in the hallway.

"I just want to tell you something. I noticed that you and Taehyun talk sometimes, and I have noticed something lately. Not to butt into your conversations, but I've noticed that you haven't been treating him right. Sometimes, you're mean to him and there are times that you're really harsh."

Amethyst didn't know how to respond. Is she that obvious when she's mean to Taehyun? Does it sound worse to the people outside the two of them talking? She didn't bother to speak yet, since she could tell that Eunmi wants to say more.

"I want to tell you something. I don't know about other people, but I can tell Taehyun really cares for you, and I can tell he wants to be a friend to you. But I seen the way you talked to him. I want to let you know that Taehyun is not good when it comes to being treated rudely. He may look strong, but he looks strong for you. Ami, Taehyun's heart is fragile. Very fragile if I must say. His strong image may fool you, but I have no doubt that some days, especially when you're extremely harsh, that he cries when he gets home. He's much easier to break than you think. These last few days, his strong image is falling apart. I can easily tell right now that he's not okay."

Is that why he didn't look too happy during performance? Is that why he's singing a depressing song? Is it really because of me? Is it because I pushed him too far? A million questions are appearing in Amethyst's mind, and she's starting to feel guilty.

"But one thing I don't get...is that he continues to come after you. It's like despite all the hurt he went through, he's brave enough to start up a conversation with you again. It's like he's hoping that you change. It's like he wants to be a part of your life. I say, he's brave for that. There's a saying out there, I don't know the exact words...but it's something like 'let them go, but if they come back, then it's meant to be.' Maybe you two are meant to be friends. Think about it for a moment."

Eunmi left after she finished speaking, leaving Amethyst alone. Amethyst felt stupid, and she felt like she was blind the whole time. There was only three times, including today, that she noticed Taehyun was hurting, but there was more than that? She must have been fooled by the image Taehyun showed for her to not notice that he was hurting all this time. Amethyst grabbed the necklace, the present from Taehyun, she wore that was under her shirt, taking it out to look at it, reading the positive words on the circle charm.

Please let me be your friend, and let me guard your heart.

The message that was in the box appeared in her head from Monday. Amethyst did screw up, and she's scared that she lost Taehyun for good. She couldn't believe that it took her this long to realize it. She sighed, feeling hurt herself. Taehyun was in the world of hurt and she didn't care to realize it. But at the same time, it meant the world to her that he would keep coming back to her, never failing to try to cheer her up or reminder her that he's there for her.

Amethyst owes him a lot. Since she still has an hour before performance, she went to the piano room like she originally was, but not to work on the song she chose for the performance. But to quickly come up with a new song. Something inspired her to come up with this song, and she knows that would be worth adding extra hard work for the next hour.

Description
Monday came by fast, mainly because Amethyst, as soon as she got home on Sunday, went back to sleep didn't move from her bed or left her room for the rest of the day. And due to still feeling a bit sick, she didn't bother eating dinner that night, or having breakfast this morning. But despite still feeling sick, she decided to go to school. She would hate it more than anything to miss any lessons and to make up homework that she missed.

Amethyst actually decided to arrive a little early today, nearly an hour before her first class. She wanted to have time to herself and think about what happened on Sunday. The decision she made, it was both good, but it was also bad, at least she thought. She doesn't know how much Taehyun read of her journal, but she started to feel a little uncomfortable about it. She doesn't completely trust Taehyun yet, but she knew she needed to tell someone before she goes crazy, like almost taking her life yesterday, which she is still grateful that he stopped her from doing so.

While thinking about the event of almost taking her life, something doesn't seem to fit. She remembered a few things Taehyun said. "If you go...I'll go with you." "I rather die than feeling guilty that I didn't save you." But she was more concerned about the first thought. Why would Taehyun say such a thing like that? Why would he put his own life on the line if she was to take her own? Amethyst is starting to believe that Taehyun is hiding something from her. She wouldn't be surprised though, since Taehyun is full of surprises, being kind, warm, and perfect in everything he does from what she knows so far.

What am I thinking? He's annoying...he's stupid...he's not all that great......Amethyst thought. But then she sighed afterward. I don't know...

She looked up for the first time while walking and saw something new on the announcement board. It looked like a sign-up sheet for something that's coming up. Amethyst carefully read it. University Festival: Talent Show Case. Amethyst was surprised to suddenly see such a thing. This could be good for her future singing career, performing in front of many people. She looked at who signed up already, and to her surprise, she spots Taehyun's name. Really? I wonder what he's going to do?

"Are you going to sign up too?"

Amethyst jumped out of her skin at the sudden noise from another person. She doesn't have to turn around to question who it was.

"Oh...it's you..."

"Hello to you too." Taehyun said, confused about how Amethyst greeted him.

"I...I seen you signed up." Amethyst said, not taking her eyes off the paper.

"....yeah, I did...." Taehyun become quiet. "I'm going....I'm going to sing. Are you going to sign up?"

"I might." Amethyst started giving short answers.

"You should. With a voice like yours, everyone is going to love you."

"Shut up, you don't know anything." Amethyst head snapped towards him.

What in the...Taehyun was shocked by Amethyst's response. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Because of you, no."

"What...what did I ever do? I thought-"

"You thought I completely trusted you. But you got that wrong." Amethyst said, now avoiding contact. "I said that I wanted to trust you. I never said that I completely trusted you yet. And right now, I'm still thinking if I made the right decision or not about letting you know what's going on in my life."

Wow, it's like you don't care about how I feel at all...Taehyun thought, starting to avoid looking at Amethyst himself.

Amethyst realized what she was doing when she peaked at the corner of her eye and saw Taehyun looking away. She sighed, and spoke again. "I want to trust you. I really do. But I want you to understand...I really truly want you to understand, that I'm scared."

"I do understand..." Taehyun said, barely speaking at all now.

Amethyst sighed. She doesn't want to speak any further before things get worse between the two of them. She would hate to see Taehyun cry again. Amethyst was going to turn to walk away, but Taehyun stopped her.

"I have something to give you." Taehyun's voice was still low. He took out a little box from his coat pocket and handed it to Amethyst. "You wrote that you didn't get anything on your last birthday. So...happy very belated birthday."

Amethyst was surprised, her eyes widen as she took the box. Why though? Why now? She said thank you and bowed, and Taehyun did the same gesture in return. Amethyst turned back towards the announcement board, about to open the box. Taehyun started to walk away, but his heart said otherwise. He came back, wrapping his arms around Amethyst's shoulders from behind, hugging her. Amethyst was shocked, and become a little stiff. Taehyun was on the verge of tears, but he tried with everything he got to hold them in.

I don't know how to feel about you. You have hurt me so many times, but yet, I'm still in love with you. I fall for you deeper and deeper, when I told myself it should only be a crush, something that could easily be erased if you didn't return the feeling. I still chase after you when I shouldn't. But a part of me has a feeling that you're going to change, and I won't doubt it. I believe you will change, so I will stay. It's worth getting hurt over. I will continue to be kind to you and believe in you. I will continue to be strong for you, despite how many times you hurt me. I believe in you. You will be a better person. I know of it. I don't know what I did to deserve this pain, but it's okay. I understand why you're upset and why you don't see me as someone you can fully trust yet. I'll wait for you. I'll accept your friendship when you're ready. I'll always be here when you need someone. I promise. It's worth the tears I cry for you.

After being in the same position for a few minutes, the hug that was unexpected actually felt nice, which made Amethyst relax a bit. But just when she became comfortable, Taehyun let her go, and left her without a goodbye. Amethyst wanted to know what was going and why Taehyun hugged her. But she remembered the box she was holding and opened it. The inside has silver circle inside it, with a bunch of encouraging words like joy, happiness, peace, love, courage, and so on, going around the circle. She took the circle out and realized there was a chain on it, making the present she received a necklace. She studied it carefully, appreciating the gift. But her eyes made their way back to the box when she noticed a note on the inside. She thought that it only said happy birthday, but it wasn't, and she read it carefully.

Thank you for letting me break down your walls.
But I want something more.
Please let me be your friend,
and let me guard your heart.

Amethyst didn't know how she felt about the message, but she really like the present. Her eyes made her way back to the announcement board, looking at the sign up sheet. She didn't have to think very much to make her next move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the week went by quickly as it was already Friday. But it was also the day of performance for the University Festival. The performances were going on all day, along with other activities for the students who want to do something different. The performance stage is in the school's auditorium since there is enough space for the students who want to watch the performers.

Amethyst performance time is towards the end of the day, but she is not the last person. Taehyun is a few spots before her. Actually, it's around the time for him to start taking the stage. He mentioned earlier in the week that he's going to sing. Amethyst wondered what song it was, what genre, what language, anything. But from what she heard on the first day of school, he would sound amazing either way.

Speaking of Taehyun, she hasn't heard from him all week. She hasn't even seen him around campus. She even started to worry a little. Is he okay? Is it because of me? Did I push him away? All these thoughts came to her, then she heard music starting to play. She looked up and it was Taehyun on stage. He was wearing that style of clothing and make-up she saw over the weekend. She once again found him attractive in such a style. But she noticed something wasn't right. Taehyun doesn't look well. He doesn't look very happy, his eyes showed it all. His expression made Amethyst worry a bit, thinking about what could be bothering him.

Hearing him sing, just like how Amethyst predicted, he sounds Heavenly. But something wasn't right, despite sounding good, Amethyst heard...hurt. Taehyun's voice sounds a little cold. Something is bothering him. Even the song he's singing is giving it away.

All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me
All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me, and I fell apart

Taehyun does sound like he's falling apart, and Amethyst most likely knew why. She got up from her seat and quietly left the auditorium. She needed to go over her song anyway, so she can be ready for her performance when it comes. She was going to the piano room to practice, until someone called her.

"Ya! Ami!"

Amethyst looked to see who was calling, when a Korean girl about her age came to her. "Oh, hey Eunmi!" Eunmi and Amethyst have a class together, and after a while, they became friends.

"Hey, Ami." Eunmi calls Amethyst 'Ami' because her English is not the best, therefore, Amethyst's name is too hard to pronounce. "Can I talk to you real quick?"

"Of course. What's up?" the two girls stood closer to the wall, so people can still walk in the hallway.

"I just want to tell you something. I noticed that you and Taehyun talk sometimes, and I have noticed something lately. Not to butt into your conversations, but I've noticed that you haven't been treating him right. Sometimes, you're mean to him and there are times that you're really harsh."

Amethyst didn't know how to respond. Is she that obvious when she's mean to Taehyun? Does it sound worse to the people outside the two of them talking? She didn't bother to speak yet, since she could tell that Eunmi wants to say more.

"I want to tell you something. I don't know about other people, but I can tell Taehyun really cares for you, and I can tell he wants to be a friend to you. But I seen the way you talked to him. I want to let you know that Taehyun is not good when it comes to being treated rudely. He may look strong, but he looks strong for you. Ami, Taehyun's heart is fragile. Very fragile if I must say. His strong image may fool you, but I have no doubt that some days, especially when you're extremely harsh, that he cries when he gets home. He's much easier to break than you think. These last few days, his strong image is falling apart. I can easily tell right now that he's not okay."

Is that why he didn't look too happy during performance? Is that why he's singing a depressing song? Is it really because of me? Is it because I pushed him too far? A million questions are appearing in Amethyst's mind, and she's starting to feel guilty.

"But one thing I don't get...is that he continues to come after you. It's like despite all the hurt he went through, he's brave enough to start up a conversation with you again. It's like he's hoping that you change. It's like he wants to be a part of your life. I say, he's brave for that. There's a saying out there, I don't know the exact words...but it's something like 'let them go, but if they come back, then it's meant to be.' Maybe you two are meant to be friends. Think about it for a moment."

Eunmi left after she finished speaking, leaving Amethyst alone. Amethyst felt stupid, and she felt like she was blind the whole time. There was only three times, including today, that she noticed Taehyun was hurting, but there was more than that? She must have been fooled by the image Taehyun showed for her to not notice that he was hurting all this time. Amethyst grabbed the necklace, the present from Taehyun, she wore that was under her shirt, taking it out to look at it, reading the positive words on the circle charm.

Please let me be your friend, and let me guard your heart.

The message that was in the box appeared in her head from Monday. Amethyst did screw up, and she's scared that she lost Taehyun for good. She couldn't believe that it took her this long to realize it. She sighed, feeling hurt herself. Taehyun was in the world of hurt and she didn't care to realize it. But at the same time, it meant the world to her that he would keep coming back to her, never failing to try to cheer her up or reminder her that he's there for her.

Amethyst owes him a lot. Since she still has an hour before performance, she went to the piano room like she originally was, but not to work on the song she chose for the performance. But to quickly come up with a new song. Something inspired her to come up with this song, and she knows that would be worth adding extra hard work for the next hour.