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Mendedpixie — Panic Driven Poetry
by-nc-nd
Published: 2013-08-13 03:36:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 133; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description
It’s backThis monster in my soul that is panic
I don’t remember one quite like this
It’s frightening
Am I dying?
Oh God, please, what is happening?
Slam, slam
Goes my heart against my chest
Make it stop
Make it stop
Please God, stop, stop...
What happened?
It’s an hour later
I don’t remember anything
Did I pass out?
Was I asleep?
Was I dead?
No, I couldn’t have been dead
I’m alive, I swear it
Slam slam
Oh God, it’s back
Did it ever leave?
Make it stop
Make it stop
I’m sorry
Please don’t get mad
Who are you talking to?
There’s no one here
But you and God
A brief calm in the storm
Or is it simply numbness?
I’m dizzier than I’ve ever been
My heart is going to beat out of my chest
But despite the chaos in my body
My mind is
Strangely
Frighteningly
Calm
I know it must be a farce
The mirror is broken
The panic returns
How many has it been?
One, three, six?
I don’t understand
Why doesn’t my body work right?
I didn’t ask
I didn’t ask for this!
It’s not my fault
Please don’t look at me
LOOK AT ME
See my imperfections
But if you see
What I really am
I think I may die
No, I can’t die
That is terrifying
So terrifying
I won’t feel that way again
But I can’t deny
That the fear
Won’t go away
The thoughts run
“You’re writing is shit”
But it’s me
“Your depressing”
I can’t help it
“You’re weak”
I know I am
“You’re worthless”
No I’m not!
Yes
No
Maybe?
My mind
Is going around
And around
It won’t stop
Replaying
All the painful memories
And hateful words
Ever inflicted
Upon me
By me
And that Ed Sheeran song
Won’t stop playing
In my brain
My wrists
Won’t stop aching
There’s an
Invisible choke hold
Around my neck
Something
Is tearing my heart apart
Is this panic?
Or something worse?
What is it?
I don’t remember
I’m sorry
It doesn’t make sense
Please don’t hate me
It’s not my fault!
It’s all my fault...
God, please, make this stop.
my mouth is silent
but my soul is screaming
from the pain
that my own torture
inflicts upon me
Four pages of
Panic driven poetry
Spill across the page
