HOME | DD
Published: 2011-05-02 20:49:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 415; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
Redirect to original
Description
TemperanceChapter One
As Earth approached 2012, people were becoming increasingly paranoid and superstitious. When the fated day arrived, it turned out that the world's populace was wrong. The world did not end in 2012. There were no cataclysms, no rains of fire, and no tidal waves that washed away cities. However, that was not to say that nothing important happened. Something extremely significant DID happen; it just didn't do so visibly. A link between our world and the nearest alternate reality came into existence. It was frail at first, nothing more than a tube spewing tiny bubbles of alternate reality in between the threads of our reality. While this might be cause for alarm, it had no visible long term effect. It caused some minor earthquakes and a couple of tropical depressions that didn't quite become hurricanes, but nothing major. The actual impact was much worse. After a few days, the link strengthened. It solidified and turned into a two way bridge between our reality and the next one.
There were many disturbing things about the bubbles of alternate reality. For one, they did not usually interfere with our reality, but slid alongside. Another disturbing thing was that the bubbles had a tendency of attaching themselves to individuals, seemingly at random. I was one such individual. The moment of attachment was excruciatingly painful, and it happened when I was asleep. I woke up screaming in pain. It felt like I was bound in burning chains. After a while the feeling eased, and I was able to get back to sleep. To my knowledge, I am the only one who figured out how to use the bubble. It was extremely tiring for me to open the bubble up and to put stuff in it, but I found a way. In my youth, I used it to store things that I did not want found. When World War Three broke out and I was pressed into service, I used it to store extra weapons and ammunition that I accumulated. This came in really handy during a particularly intense engagement when my entire unit ran out of ammunition. I opened the bubble and handed out my spare ammo. It turned the tide of the engagement. We ended up winning and coming home victorious instead of losing and coming home in body bags. That caught the attention of the higher-ups. They re-assigned me to a special taskforce and equipped me with several sets of gear. The fact that I was geared for ANY fight and any position earned me the call sign "O.M.A", which stands for "One Man Army". It also got me into the mess I was currently in.
I ejected an empty clip from my assault rifle and slapped in a fresh one as bullets smashed into the ground all around me. I was safe, for the moment, hiding behind a tall and narrow fragment of a ruined stone wall. My back was to the wall, and I could feel its cool, hard, and irregular surface pressing through my heavy armor. Men were screaming and dying all around me, the pain and suffering expelled with their last breaths making a horrifying background to the sounds of death flying all around me. The rest of my squad was dead, leaving my tac-com unit quiet and lifeless. I was on my own. I felt the heavy solidity of my BFAR-H, and was reassured. My assault rifle was a heavy, large caliber burst fire rifle. It fired bursts of three .45 rounds each time I squeezed the trigger, providing accurately dispensed death with a minimum of effort. I was SpecOps, and had a custom built rifle. Mine had recoil dampeners, a combat scope, and a 12 gauge under mount shotgun attached to it. My rifle was also loaded with full metal jacket rounds, which were extremely necessary in my field. From the sound of the gunfire, there were 30 squads of the enemy left. They were inexperienced militia, but that won't matter to the bullets. One squad was holding me pinned down, while the other squads were shooting it out. Intel really dropped the ball on this one.
My name is Sergeant Nathaniel "O.M.A." Archer, and until today I was part of the most lethal and efficient task force on the face of the earth. My unit was undefeated. There was nothing we couldn't handle. We were the unsung heroes of the war, ever victorious. At least until Intel sent us into the middle of a fucking civil war. 300 squads of militia from one side of the country faced off with 310 squads of militia from the other side of the country. This wouldn't have mattered to us much, except that they decided to throw down right on top of my squad's camp site in some abandoned ruins. My squad fought our way towards the safety of the last building standing, a large stone temple of some kind. We were going to hold out there until the cavalry came charging in. We lost two men on our way there to a fragmentation grenade, and the third at the outer wall of the compound the temple was in. It was just me and Martin, our communications officer left. We held out for several hours, until there was a momentary lull in the fighting. Martin took a peek out to see what was happening and was promptly shot in the head by a sniper. I was the only one left.
I shook myself out of my reverie and started thinking. If I was to survive, I needed to get inside that temple. To do so, I would have to travel quite a large distance of open ground. I grimaced and pulled my will together. There was no other way. I focused my will and opened the bubble in the space-time continuum that I where I kept my spare gear, reached in, took out a belt of smoke grenades, and closed the bubble. I then unhooked the smoke grenades, pulled the pins, and then started throwing them all around me. When the smoke screen became thick enough, I sprinted to the entrance to the temple and dove inside.
Related content
Comments: 11
MaclaurinExpansion96 [2011-05-03 23:28:57 +0000 UTC]
This one is quite interesting, mainly due to the "bubble" concept. I also see a more relaxed style of narration which differs from your more previous action based or humor efforts. However, I have some suggestions for your syntax and grammar. For "of alternate reality in between the threads of our reality.", I personally don't like the way reality pops up twice in the same sentence. Maybe you should fix that up. You also say "extremely necessary" in the text. I'm not sure if that is a grammatically correct phrase.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Millenium110 In reply to MaclaurinExpansion96 [2011-05-04 02:12:19 +0000 UTC]
If there is a replacement word for "reality" in that context, I am unaware of it. And while "extremely necessary" may or may not be gramatically correct, this is the narration of the character's thoughts. If he wants to put an emphasis on the importance of his ammunition, he can. It's his mind after all.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
lasttofollowwar [2011-05-03 12:27:23 +0000 UTC]
An epic tale of adventure like no other..... someones bin takeing ego lessons from drew...
it seems like is has potential, i like ware it is so far, but i m wateing to see ware you go with it before i give any reel input,
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Millenium110 In reply to lasttofollowwar [2011-05-04 02:13:04 +0000 UTC]
That really helps. Not. =_=
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lasttofollowwar In reply to Millenium110 [2011-05-04 02:41:16 +0000 UTC]
wuold you rathr i just say " oh yes the story is prfict "? i m telling you the truth if you prefr that i lie, then just say so, and i will behapy to right, "nice" evry time you right something, if thats what makes you feel beter then fine, but if you wont my reel input that stop wineing about it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Millenium110 In reply to lasttofollowwar [2011-05-05 03:02:42 +0000 UTC]
I would like your real input. But saying "I will wait to see where this goes before saying anything" is not input. I would like your initial thoughts on this. Each stage is important and different.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lasttofollowwar In reply to Millenium110 [2011-05-05 12:37:57 +0000 UTC]
i see storys as a hole, if it all you give me is the setup, thats not good or bad it is how you use it and i can't tell how well you will do that frum what you have so far, its just not anuff yet, the only resun i said anything is that i wunted you to know that i was not ignoring you requwest for opiuns, but thats i was wateing a bit to see how things played out, we see storys difrintly, so patients, i will give my opinun when it is fully formed and of some use as i thoght that was to pont of you asking in the frst place.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Scion-the-Hedgehog [2011-05-03 02:18:10 +0000 UTC]
I must say, this is rather deep so far. The only thing I find to be lacking is a bit of character depth, he seems a bit emotionless so far.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Millenium110 In reply to Scion-the-Hedgehog [2011-05-03 02:19:53 +0000 UTC]
He is in shock. In a matter of hours he lost 4 of his best friends and got stranded in the middle of a war zone. He falls apart later, when he has time to. Right now, survival trumps emotion.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Scion-the-Hedgehog In reply to Millenium110 [2011-05-03 02:20:34 +0000 UTC]
Ah, true. Alright, that I can deal with.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0





