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Description
There is but a moment when the culmination of my convictions come crashing down
upon me. It is in that moment that I feel my weakest, and I see myself for what I
truly am. A selfish creature with a crude twisted sense of propriety. For what are
morals but impositions set down by those who believe themselves so wholly above all others. In all truth it is only a quest to feed the hunger of power that they cultivate inside of themselves. In all truth they are not any different than myself. We are the same, caring only for our own personal ambitions. I care not if the child two streets down, with the sickly mother, goes to bed hungry. Only that I am fed. Those who say otherwise are liars. It is only that they wish not to lose face with those who have lifted them up. Not that they wish to feed the hungry child. There will always be hungry children and sickly mothers. Perhaps, if there were less of them we would not have to be so diligent in pretending concern. I have forgotten though, we are moral creatures.

Such a web of deception we have spun for ourselves. What a performance to give to this theatrical masterpiece that makes individuals, like myself, necessary. For you must have someone who is lower than you, someone you could name a depravity. So I am your villain, if you will. Not because I subject myself to the thrill of cold blood. Nor is it that I rob the innocent in all connotations. No it is not as simple as that. I am merely a man, and I take, whether it is the pleasures of the flesh or other intoxications. If it is offered or dangled before me I will consume it. I care not who knows, only that I am satisfied. I give not to charities, organizations, or religious affiliations. I feel no inclination to give up what I was born to and what I have made. Not for friend, family, stranger, or pauper. Give gratification to those who seek it.

Let them fly high on said principles, and those who praise them. Let them take a stand for what is right and good. I have no interest in such things, unless they drastically affect my own personal situation. So if a man wishes to go to war than let him. If someone wishes to go on a crusade for peace, let them. From the start it was never about what was honorable. Only, what that individual did for such a cause. Pass away; I want no involvement in the ruckus you have created. Unless, of course, there was some way I could profit from it. For the more I line my pockets with gold, the more I can obtain for myself. That is a worthy pursuit, an honest pursuit. For all others are merely a perfectly crafted net of lies.

Love, passion, happiness, joy, these are empty words. Their only use is to capture that which you desire. I love only myself, and I only have passion for what drives me in that instant. I feel only happiness when I have reached the goal. Joy over the duration of the course I ran. However, when it is over, I have no further use for it. Only a fool believes in such words. If you believe the lie, than you beget what you deserve. Run away, and perhaps you will be able to keep a firm grasp over your self-created reality. I laugh at it. Let us continue on down this deluded path. For I find that I have not quite reached a sickened state. What more could I possibly say you may ask. Why spend a minute more listening to the words of a bitter man? I must be bitter since I do not hide the true nature of my heart.

I should be lonely too, since I have been deprived of life and blessing. I assure you that I have lived life, and as for blessing, just what do you deem that to be? Would it be a sudden raise in wage, or an extra week to make rent? I tell you the first was only to stop your incessant complaints, the second, because your landlord does not have the wherewithal to do his duty. I hear that children are sometimes described as such. A blessing, nay, they are no more than a means to an end. A puppet with strings, a way for you to be what you never could, because you lacked in determination, skill, and possibly intelligence. It is conceivable that they were just a treasure for the getting because you were denied such things. Whatever they are it is not a blessing, because that would denote selflessness on your part. In response you may say, but I love my child. Do you? I think you are only in love with being loved.

When the naivety is gone they will see you for what you really are and your pursuit will begin anew. It is better not to have them at all. So I will live my life prideful of the fact that I was not so careless as to be preyed upon by such false hopes. Victorious in the knowledge that I was not conformed to your righteous superiority. I will languish in the frivolity at my fingertips for the rest of my days. I will not be ashamed of my character, no matter how revolted you are by it. On the other hand, you should note that perchance the reason why you are so appalled by me is, maybe, that you see a reflection of yourself.

Description
There is but a moment when the culmination of my convictions come crashing down
upon me. It is in that moment that I feel my weakest, and I see myself for what I
truly am. A selfish creature with a crude twisted sense of propriety. For what are
morals but impositions set down by those who believe themselves so wholly above all others. In all truth it is only a quest to feed the hunger of power that they cultivate inside of themselves. In all truth they are not any different than myself. We are the same, caring only for our own personal ambitions. I care not if the child two streets down, with the sickly mother, goes to bed hungry. Only that I am fed. Those who say otherwise are liars. It is only that they wish not to lose face with those who have lifted them up. Not that they wish to feed the hungry child. There will always be hungry children and sickly mothers. Perhaps, if there were less of them we would not have to be so diligent in pretending concern. I have forgotten though, we are moral creatures.

Such a web of deception we have spun for ourselves. What a performance to give to this theatrical masterpiece that makes individuals, like myself, necessary. For you must have someone who is lower than you, someone you could name a depravity. So I am your villain, if you will. Not because I subject myself to the thrill of cold blood. Nor is it that I rob the innocent in all connotations. No it is not as simple as that. I am merely a man, and I take, whether it is the pleasures of the flesh or other intoxications. If it is offered or dangled before me I will consume it. I care not who knows, only that I am satisfied. I give not to charities, organizations, or religious affiliations. I feel no inclination to give up what I was born to and what I have made. Not for friend, family, stranger, or pauper. Give gratification to those who seek it.

Let them fly high on said principles, and those who praise them. Let them take a stand for what is right and good. I have no interest in such things, unless they drastically affect my own personal situation. So if a man wishes to go to war than let him. If someone wishes to go on a crusade for peace, let them. From the start it was never about what was honorable. Only, what that individual did for such a cause. Pass away; I want no involvement in the ruckus you have created. Unless, of course, there was some way I could profit from it. For the more I line my pockets with gold, the more I can obtain for myself. That is a worthy pursuit, an honest pursuit. For all others are merely a perfectly crafted net of lies.

Love, passion, happiness, joy, these are empty words. Their only use is to capture that which you desire. I love only myself, and I only have passion for what drives me in that instant. I feel only happiness when I have reached the goal. Joy over the duration of the course I ran. However, when it is over, I have no further use for it. Only a fool believes in such words. If you believe the lie, than you beget what you deserve. Run away, and perhaps you will be able to keep a firm grasp over your self-created reality. I laugh at it. Let us continue on down this deluded path. For I find that I have not quite reached a sickened state. What more could I possibly say you may ask. Why spend a minute more listening to the words of a bitter man? I must be bitter since I do not hide the true nature of my heart.

I should be lonely too, since I have been deprived of life and blessing. I assure you that I have lived life, and as for blessing, just what do you deem that to be? Would it be a sudden raise in wage, or an extra week to make rent? I tell you the first was only to stop your incessant complaints, the second, because your landlord does not have the wherewithal to do his duty. I hear that children are sometimes described as such. A blessing, nay, they are no more than a means to an end. A puppet with strings, a way for you to be what you never could, because you lacked in determination, skill, and possibly intelligence. It is conceivable that they were just a treasure for the getting because you were denied such things. Whatever they are it is not a blessing, because that would denote selflessness on your part. In response you may say, but I love my child. Do you? I think you are only in love with being loved.

When the naivety is gone they will see you for what you really are and your pursuit will begin anew. It is better not to have them at all. So I will live my life prideful of the fact that I was not so careless as to be preyed upon by such false hopes. Victorious in the knowledge that I was not conformed to your righteous superiority. I will languish in the frivolity at my fingertips for the rest of my days. I will not be ashamed of my character, no matter how revolted you are by it. On the other hand, you should note that perchance the reason why you are so appalled by me is, maybe, that you see a reflection of yourself.