TheRedRidingHood [2010-03-10 00:09:13 +0000 UTC]

Nice layout!

Original

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Jezzy-Fezzy [2010-03-06 04:02:56 +0000 UTC]

Unusual piece of poetry but very effective. Nice!

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noomxbass [2010-03-05 20:16:57 +0000 UTC]

Very interesting, I can see why so many people like this.

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Nailel [2010-01-20 21:56:01 +0000 UTC]

I sat down to read this and was initially confused, but found myself pleasantly surprised by the experience. At first I began reading it left to right, and eventually found myself reading in circles and connecting sentences and thoughts and feelings. You did a very job of creating something cement out of something so thoroughly ambiguous. I love how I was able to read one line down to the 'break', or the italicized lines which almost felt like an anchor for each individual feeling [at least, in my perspective], and then merely grasp at the words and get a general feeling.

I love this, you managed to use words to evoke feeling in a way I've never seen before. This pulls off the conventional and throws it to the side. All the words stand alone, yet the feelings are universal, I almost feel like I can say "I understand."

I tip my hat to you!

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Vixxybo [2010-01-20 21:54:24 +0000 UTC]

Hmm, well I'm truely awful when it comes to critting writing. I dont count myself as having much skill with words, so I hate to put my opinion on someone elses.
I shall try though!
I like the imagery that popped into my head whilst reading this. Wierdly enough it was the words associated with love and happiness that stuck in my head and its left me feeling happy and content. No idea if that was your intention lol

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WorldWar-Tori [2010-01-20 21:53:29 +0000 UTC]

I like the concept of structure you decided to go with... however, the lines are quite distracting. Also, the imagery you get in a peaceful one, for myself at least. It reminds me of different parts of my childhood growing up... mostly the good parts. Obviously literature can go either way, but this way, it went happier than sad. great work (=

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somnomollior [2010-01-16 15:40:05 +0000 UTC]

It is an inspirational piece - it makes a great exercise for the poetic mind. I long to fill in the blanks with my own words that your words suggest.

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VampiricBunny [2010-01-16 03:35:39 +0000 UTC]

This piece is simply brilliant - I love the structure, I have seen something similiar to this before in a book, but I am blessed to find something with such uniqueness here. This piece is fragmented, yet it is all connected in a line, it takes me to an isolated place, yet where everyone can see me. I love how the word "Slow" and "Flow" rhyme with eachother -the start and finish words- .. the structure truly is an enigma.. it sort of makes me visualise the maze- like properties of a brain itself.. I'm sorry but i am a little odd .. Its very clever, I like it.

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Exclamationpointman [2010-01-16 03:32:30 +0000 UTC]

Words are powerful creatures. They run wild as the animals of our world, eager to feed upon the open minds of the humble man and his creativity. Unlike the ferocity of the animal kingdom, we allow these beasts take us in their jaws, running their courses into our voices and our language in writing. Your particular example acts, as you said, loose words.

These reduce the words to their primal shells, untouched by human intervention and ingenuity. It is the exact ingenuity itself of collecting all these words together in a free form verse that is what is truely astonishing about this piece. Fantastic.

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