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I am standing
Published: 2014-08-15 16:10:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 2915; Favourites: 117; Downloads: 0
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Description
It's been months since I wanted to break out of my body. Okay, that's a lie. But it's been days. Days since I've felt static scorch underneath my skin, felt colours cutting into my eyes, had to explain that these aren't metaphors. There are so many ways you can get used to living. I wonder if anyone else feels empty when they don't have creatures clawing up through their throat.I don't know what art is, or what okay is. I like to believe I know it when I feel it, but I'm not so sure I would. I think people expect me to be a lot more insightful than I am right now. I don't think they take into account that boredom is stressful, and stress can shatter you like roots in concrete. Maybe I'm growing. But I don't even know if I'm bored. I feel like a lot of different people, or a lot of aspects of different people, all trying to learn how to stand one another.
It's been days since I wanted to break out of my body. I'm watching the sunrise from the wrong side, but I did sleep. I'm not curling in corners or walking alone at 4 a.m. I'm not thinking of my friends talking about me in past tense. I listen to the murmur of the coffee maker, to the droplets of song from backyard birds. And I am not sure where I stand, but I am standing.
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Comments: 41
That was amazing! You write in a wonderous way
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thank you so much!
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i cant believe how much i relate. this makes me believe i can write again
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There is a plethora of emotions wrapped up in a conversational, yet powerfully impacting bit of prose. Your words are forthright, and earnest, and you don't dance around complicated vocabulary to evoke these things. Simple in execution. Something that anyone can get wrapped up in.
I know we're total strangers, but I'm glad you were doing okay, and I hope you're still doing okay, and that it stays that way for as long as possible. I know what it's like to be in a neverending battle with your own mind and heart. To see something that speaks so personally about those treasured lulls...well it just makes me smile.
An incredibly well-deserved DD. Incredible work.
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thank you so much, this is a very kind comment. i'm glad you liked the piece. i'm doing pretty well and i hope you are too
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It was my honest pleasure. I'm a little rough at the moment, but I'll be flipped around soon I'm sure.
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Congrats on the Daily Deviation! This is a gorgeous piece, one definitely worth multiple reads. 
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That is a fantastic view of life, whether it be a long drawn out boredom (which sitting still is almost painful for me) or just the mundane day to day grind that wears people out, without anyone noticing. I absolutely love it
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this is incredible, I'm in awe, thank you. I feel like this echoes some part of me I was trying to ignore
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thank you so much, i'm glad you like it!
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How...how did you manage to take the feelings I didn't even comprehend and manage to turn them into words? Because of you...I think I finally understand what was clawing at my heart. Thank you for writing this!
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i'm glad i could help! thank you for your kind comment.
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This is phenomenal. It communicates something I've tried to say several times in the past and not been able to do so. Thank you for sharing.
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Jeez. Y'know, it's amazing how well you capture the nebulous haze of emotional confusion; knowing you're feeling something, or that you should be feeling something, but you just don't know what exactly that something is.
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thank you. i'm glad that came through.
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'And I am not sure where I stand, but I am standing.'
You and me both.
I really enjoyed this work. It creates a sort of atmosphere around you, as if you can almost feel the emotions inside you as well.
Great job.
Oh, and congrats on being featured on the Daily Deviations.
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thank you! i'm glad you enjoyed it! <3
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This is absolutely amazing... do you mind if I put this on tumblr and credit you? I'll link both your account AND this page. It's beautiful... Absolutely beautiful...
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thank you! and thanks for asking, you definitely can
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I think I know that. ..set of feelings, good job writing them down ^^
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thank you so much! i hope you have a great day too!
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I much prefer flying, seeing as we humans do that very well. falling and flying.
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