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mistsofavalon4ever β lounge car
by-nc-nd
Published: 2009-11-24 02:13:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 633; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 3
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Description
Wrap me up in silver lining,Tie me twice with
Golden string
Carry me up the
Narrow stairs
And let our love story
Beginβ¦
I'm just a girl who reads
Romantic books by the armful
From the city's chrome library,
Just someone who pulled her first pair
Of pantyhose
(from the drugstore)
On in a wobbly dressing room,
(so distracted I left the box)
You're just a man,
Talking about your
Acres of apple orchards,
Your lakes and your business
Wondering what you
Can still work for,
Fiddling with your iPod,
Fiddling with your coffee cup
I think life is
Overrated,
You think it's
Too easy
A hundred years ago
There'd be wicker chairs
And a balcony,
And we would be smoking
Long cigarettes
Minors could drink
Champagne and no one would
Even blink
You'd have a suit
with a handkerchief
In the pocket, waiting
For something new
I'd be wearing a
Scandalous little black dress,
Snuck from the downstairs to
The luxurious lounge car where you
Are
We both wear jeans now,
But we can remember
What it was like
Even if we were
Never there
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Comments: 32
This is an amazing piece of work. I love your ideas, because I think the images and feelings you represent here are felt by romantics all over the world. A very finely executed fairytale, condensed into 11 stanzas.
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Thank you. I certainly hope I am not the only one who has painted fantasies of long cigarettes and Great Gatsby dresses...thank you again. "A finely executed fairytale" is pretty up there on compliments I have received.
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Oh! Well you certainly deserve to be told that, your work merits so much praise, really.
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Very cool! I always half invent stories for everyday objects in places I wouldn't expect them, or people, just wondering how they got there, or what their life is like. I love this. Well done.
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nice to know someone else does it too 
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Mhm! ^^ You're quite welcome
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Oh wow, this is a gorgeous story, and it's so original and beautiful. I love it, the whole thing.
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well, thank you
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You're so welcome!!
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Ahh, i like how it's so... dreamlike 
Another thing, i can't quite tell what it is exactly, and it might be my brain, but it sounds quite american to me even though I think the picture you're trying to portray would fit a british style more.
That's pretty much all i can say this time, i didn't really see grammatical or spelling errors
PS if you like constructive comments, please check out #ProjectComment
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Alright,thanks for commenting!
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very welcome
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I love the story of it. It draws you in so much; especially the historical flashback. Perfect!
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cool! I could do a short story of it but I dunno :/ I might have problems with dialogue and how it ends and stuff...I kinda like how I left it open ended.
Glad you liked it!
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I think open-ended is fine
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brilliant, love the progression of images and the ending
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Great storytelling! This is almost breathless at times with the delivery.
Reminds me a bit of "An Education," at times. It's an awesome movie with Carey Mulligan.
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I'm glad I watch you on DA, you can pull off some pretty incredible stuff.
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You're sweet
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hmm, i don't really know. But keep writing. Maybe some are too lazy to read stories, in general, i have no idea.
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that's true, they do take way longer to read
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thank you! Why exactly do u like?
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mostly the start
Carry me up the
Narrow stairs
And let our love story
Beginβ¦
i was happy it didn't end sadly
and how you compared "now" and "then"
does that make sense
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it makes perfect sense
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