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I had a conversation with a very dear friend today on the merits of drawerfic and writing for yourself. Drawerfic, as a term, is most popular in fandom but it's not exclusive to it. Basically, it's the story you write for yourself without ever having the intent to publish it. If anyone ever sees it, it's because you've shown it to them. It's the story that, if it were hand-written, would be kept in the drawer of your desk where no-one could see it.

Especially today, when everything is so easily accessible on the internet, there seems to be an expectation to publish everything you write. And in fandom, where the whole point is sharing your creations with fellow fans, it seems almost counter-productive and defeating the purpose to write something that you never intend to share. Why write something that you're just going to keep on your hard drive?

The simple answer is because you can. Everyone says they write for themselves, and that very well may be at least partially true for a lot of people. But some of that does fade as soon as you've published your story to the internet, where any number of people can see it, comment on it, or share it around. It's no longer for you now, but for your readers. You may have enjoyed writing it, and probably used themes and ideas that you enjoy reading about, so in that sense it was for you. Writing because you fancy writing something you eventually plan on publishing isn't the same as writing something because your teacher gave you an assignment. You are writing that for her, and for your grade. Can you still enjoy that? Yes. But it's not quite the same, is it?

But if you go to any site where large groups of writers congregate, you'll always see posts full of doubt and self-loathing. "Why aren't I writing? I'm so lazy and need to do something productive," becomes, "I suck and should just stop and no-one will like this anyway," in a matter of moments.

Well, why aren't you writing? Is it because you're lazy? Tired? No ideas. The Dreaded Writer's Block? Those, I will not help you with here. I have Opinions on writer's block, but I won't share them today. The rest, I've already touched on at least in passing.

On the second string of ideas, though; what makes those little demons stay around? Well, are you writing for yourself, or are you writing with the intent to publish? Almost no-one seems to write drawerfic anymore. By writing with the intent to publish, a mind-set is created: one that says everything has to be pitch-perfect, or at least as close as you're able to get it. If you write something overly self-indulgent, you can't help but worry that any readers will hate it. What if the readers don't like the way you've portrayed this character? What if this person's actions offend someone? What if anyone who reads this thinks that because my protagonist thinks something is right, I must think that way too?

I've been there. I think it's safe to say most of us have. But the easiest way to get rid of this doubt is to eliminate the part of the equation that's causing it: get rid of the reader.

Write for yourself. Write as badly as you want. In writing drawerfic, you can help break some of the more annoying habits you might have picked up over time; stop editing as you go and just get the ideas out there. Treat it as flash fiction without the time limit. If you have an idea, get it down. Ignore the meter and the tone. You can fix those all on the second draft if you even ever get that far.

We're full-swing with NaNo right now, and these are some of the guiding principles of the event. November is for writing. December is for editing. Quite a few people write drawerfic for NaNo, and a surprising amount of people even get their novels printed somewhere down the line.

So, I once more issue a challenge. Write for yourself. Don't publish your stuff online for a few months. Set yourself a goal and reach it before you go back to writing to publish. See if anything about your writing has changed over the last few months of writing just for yourself. You may find that you enjoy being able to be a bit silly with your ideas again now that you don't have to worry about what the readers will think.

Or maybe all that self-doubt was for naught anyway. Maybe your readers will like the ridiculous, self-indulgent stuff as much as the rest of it.

Description
I had a conversation with a very dear friend today on the merits of drawerfic and writing for yourself. Drawerfic, as a term, is most popular in fandom but it's not exclusive to it. Basically, it's the story you write for yourself without ever having the intent to publish it. If anyone ever sees it, it's because you've shown it to them. It's the story that, if it were hand-written, would be kept in the drawer of your desk where no-one could see it.

Especially today, when everything is so easily accessible on the internet, there seems to be an expectation to publish everything you write. And in fandom, where the whole point is sharing your creations with fellow fans, it seems almost counter-productive and defeating the purpose to write something that you never intend to share. Why write something that you're just going to keep on your hard drive?

The simple answer is because you can. Everyone says they write for themselves, and that very well may be at least partially true for a lot of people. But some of that does fade as soon as you've published your story to the internet, where any number of people can see it, comment on it, or share it around. It's no longer for you now, but for your readers. You may have enjoyed writing it, and probably used themes and ideas that you enjoy reading about, so in that sense it was for you. Writing because you fancy writing something you eventually plan on publishing isn't the same as writing something because your teacher gave you an assignment. You are writing that for her, and for your grade. Can you still enjoy that? Yes. But it's not quite the same, is it?

But if you go to any site where large groups of writers congregate, you'll always see posts full of doubt and self-loathing. "Why aren't I writing? I'm so lazy and need to do something productive," becomes, "I suck and should just stop and no-one will like this anyway," in a matter of moments.

Well, why aren't you writing? Is it because you're lazy? Tired? No ideas. The Dreaded Writer's Block? Those, I will not help you with here. I have Opinions on writer's block, but I won't share them today. The rest, I've already touched on at least in passing.

On the second string of ideas, though; what makes those little demons stay around? Well, are you writing for yourself, or are you writing with the intent to publish? Almost no-one seems to write drawerfic anymore. By writing with the intent to publish, a mind-set is created: one that says everything has to be pitch-perfect, or at least as close as you're able to get it. If you write something overly self-indulgent, you can't help but worry that any readers will hate it. What if the readers don't like the way you've portrayed this character? What if this person's actions offend someone? What if anyone who reads this thinks that because my protagonist thinks something is right, I must think that way too?

I've been there. I think it's safe to say most of us have. But the easiest way to get rid of this doubt is to eliminate the part of the equation that's causing it: get rid of the reader.

Write for yourself. Write as badly as you want. In writing drawerfic, you can help break some of the more annoying habits you might have picked up over time; stop editing as you go and just get the ideas out there. Treat it as flash fiction without the time limit. If you have an idea, get it down. Ignore the meter and the tone. You can fix those all on the second draft if you even ever get that far.

We're full-swing with NaNo right now, and these are some of the guiding principles of the event. November is for writing. December is for editing. Quite a few people write drawerfic for NaNo, and a surprising amount of people even get their novels printed somewhere down the line.

So, I once more issue a challenge. Write for yourself. Don't publish your stuff online for a few months. Set yourself a goal and reach it before you go back to writing to publish. See if anything about your writing has changed over the last few months of writing just for yourself. You may find that you enjoy being able to be a bit silly with your ideas again now that you don't have to worry about what the readers will think.

Or maybe all that self-doubt was for naught anyway. Maybe your readers will like the ridiculous, self-indulgent stuff as much as the rest of it.