HOME | DD

MoistBread — 1
Published: 2010-10-15 02:01:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 326; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 3
Redirect to original
Description "are you sure?" you asked, breath held captive by
the cold of the evening and that question, its
claws finally sharp enough to shred your better judgment.
tears melt the frost on your lashes as i breathe,
"no,"
and you run, leaving me frozen while
the frigid wind carries away
my conclusion:
"b-
Related content

[ TEXT ]


MoistBread - 2.5

MoistBread - 7

MoistBread - 5

MoistBread - 3

MoistBread - 4

MoistBread - 8
Comments: 6

BrokenSpaceAngel [2011-02-02 23:07:20 +0000 UTC]

Oh, I absolutely love this! There are so many things that last word could be...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MoistBread In reply to BrokenSpaceAngel [2011-02-03 02:37:16 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! Funny, I had something in mind when I wrote this, but I don't really remember what it was. I guess now it's as big of a mystery for me as for everyone else!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CyneNoir [2010-10-20 20:51:45 +0000 UTC]

Mm, you have some nice descriptions here. I particularly liked "breath held captive by the cold of the evening." The ambiguous ending was a nice touch as well. You can't tell if the speaker wants to say "because," "bye," "but," or something else.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MoistBread In reply to CyneNoir [2010-10-20 22:50:04 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CyneNoir In reply to MoistBread [2010-10-20 22:53:24 +0000 UTC]

Of course!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

aliceburgundy [2010-10-19 12:58:26 +0000 UTC]

beautiful imagery, the poem is short but has impact. I like the mystery of the situation and the running theme of cold throughout the poem. ('frozen', 'frost', 'frigid', etc) and you're right, the amibiguity is a good thing. (:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0