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moldygrape β€” war [NSFW]
Published: 2004-07-05 00:07:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 34; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 17
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Description Fighting for life
Running through blood-soaked land
Praying to god no one kills me
Already so many have died
Their bodies scattered like confetti
Some in one piece
Others so mangled I vomit from pure terror

It rains blood
Soaking me with grief
And most of all
Guilt
This sickening guilt
I was involved in this slaughter fest
And I run no more
Falling to my knees
Praying
Let them kill me
Save me from this misery
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Comments: 19

mdog02 [2004-07-31 00:33:02 +0000 UTC]

I like this, you've captured the horror and guilt of war very well. Many people watch movies and listen to war stories, thinking they're going for the glory when they enlist, only to find that conditions are as you describe here in this soldier's thoughts.
β€œThis sickening guilt
I was involved in this slaughter fest β€œ
bravo!

I'm becoming more and more of a fan of this punctuation-less style, and I've been using it a bit myself. Nice work!

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moldygrape In reply to mdog02 [2004-07-31 00:47:50 +0000 UTC]

Thanks much. The comment is appreciated.

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mdog02 In reply to moldygrape [2004-07-31 04:57:04 +0000 UTC]

My pleasure.

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lilcraze83 [2004-07-06 22:47:03 +0000 UTC]

Sad but true poem very good job illustrating. I had a very vivid picture in my mind of the whole thing. Go Moldy!

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moldygrape In reply to lilcraze83 [2004-07-17 05:10:58 +0000 UTC]

yay, the poetry god have turned his eyes to my unworthy poem lol, thanks

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MoonlitShadow [2004-07-06 13:33:10 +0000 UTC]

wonderful, reminds me of no man's land.

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moldygrape In reply to MoonlitShadow [2004-07-06 14:01:11 +0000 UTC]

eh, sickening...

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subtlenuances [2004-07-06 01:34:54 +0000 UTC]

Intense, you capture the feel of a battlefield...

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moldygrape In reply to subtlenuances [2004-07-06 01:36:07 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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Jack-O [2004-07-05 20:27:00 +0000 UTC]

War sucks.


Well written.

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moldygrape In reply to Jack-O [2004-07-05 21:12:23 +0000 UTC]

gracias and yes it does

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Jack-O In reply to moldygrape [2004-07-05 21:26:19 +0000 UTC]

mhmmm

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DarkRockFaerie [2004-07-05 19:46:57 +0000 UTC]

I like the raining blood bit.....

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moldygrape In reply to DarkRockFaerie [2004-07-05 21:10:07 +0000 UTC]

ick...i hope it never rains blood...

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fendergirl [2004-07-05 18:27:34 +0000 UTC]

This was very intense. I liked this part the best:

And most of all
Guilt
This sickening guilt
I was involved in this slaughter fest

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moldygrape In reply to fendergirl [2004-07-05 18:47:30 +0000 UTC]

thanks! glad you liked it

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mutexvoice [2004-07-05 00:31:16 +0000 UTC]

I love this one. This one is great....really good. This is so cool. I love this. It's really reallly good....... I should stop staring and add it to my fav already...hehe.

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moldygrape In reply to mutexvoice [2004-07-05 00:42:58 +0000 UTC]

thank much for the fav

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mutexvoice In reply to moldygrape [2004-07-05 00:45:31 +0000 UTC]

No problem.

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