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#jen #mercado #choronorin #murk #slimegirl #femalemonster #googirl #googirls #femalesymbiote #slimegirls #femalebadass
Published: 2015-02-22 22:05:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 43125; Favourites: 357; Downloads: 193
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I haven’t been on a date in a long time, but this isn’t exactly what comes to mind first when I think of taking a girl out for a blind date on a Friday night. She came to me hours ago, desperate for help after hearing about my work in bio-engineering and genetic modification. While I may actually be more brilliant than I give myself credit for being, I’m just a noob in my respective fields; I’m surprised that she knows I exist…she seems to be the only female that does these days other than Mom and maybe Auntie Hazel. Initially, I thought that she was some sort of alien being, a mutant of some sort, or at least a host to a bio-organic symbiote that had fused itself to her body. Her desperation initially came across as rage and anger as she resorted to bully-like tactics if I didn’t agree to help fix her…and she didn’t even give me a chance to say no! Out of nowhere she oozed from the vents into my apartment as a puddle, shifted shapes quite a bit and forming spikes and other violence inducting projectiles from her large mass, smashed some of my furniture, and killed all of my fish in my aquarium by simply dipping one of her fingers into the tank.
In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn’t have reacted in such a way to her initial appearance, but it’s not everyday that a venomous goo girl comes bursting out of the vent threatening to kill you while in the middle of eating Thai food and gaming in your PJs! The fact that she even offered a generous sum of money for me to help her was more of an afterthought…it was hard to focus since she had basically cornered me at all angles and was inches from engulfing me in her deadly elongated appendages which would’ve probably rendered me into a charred pile of bones and ashes. She was so close to me that the noxious vapors from the thick black, greasy tar like substance that coated her body burned my nostrils, made my eyes water, and sent me into a spell of uncontrollable coughing before I began to breathe through my mouth to help prevent inhaling her pungent odor fumes. It was like she bathed in tear gas and wore ammonia scented perfume on top of that!
Even as she laid on the intimidation quite heavy, I could look into her jade green eyed glare and see that behind her belligerent and aggressive veneer was a woman in complete and utter torment. Admittedly I was a bit scared of her threats of her caustic touch melting through my skin and muscle right down to my bone marrow, however there was really no need of her strong-arming me into helping her…I’m just one scrawny little nerdy scientist and she could’ve easily wasted me. And I really don’t need the money that she’s offering…I mean, I’m keeping it after ruining my fish tank and the permanent toxic slime stains and other damage that she caused to my apartment…but part of me just wanted to help her anyways. Actually, I’m surprised that she even offered money in the first place…she was even considerate enough to put it in a special container so as not to get it all slimy! What can I say; I’m a sucker for a pretty face...even if it’s adorned in poisonous black goop! But during this whole process since I’ve been trying to help her, I see that perhaps violence is the only way that she knows how to reason with others to get her way.
I snuck her into the laboratory earlier tonight around 10:00 pm, long after everyone was gone for the night and ran a bunch of tests on her just to get some idea of what I was dealing with. Good thing no one will be here for the next two days…that gives me time to figure out how to clean up after her! By the time we arrived at the lab, she had dropped the tough girl act that she was putting on and was quite compliant…her resting face had gone from bitchy to pensive. I had to make sure that I was well protected and wore a class-A hazmat suit, as I would eventually find out that just one touch to her skin contains enough toxicity to kill an elephant and would burn far worse than sulfuric acid! Upon an initial body scan, I discovered that she was neither an alien nor a symbiotic host; I was rather shocked to find out that she’s human…or at least she used to be. She had been subjected to some sort of genetic mutation process and the toxic sludge was literally a living extension of herself! I told her that I would have to perform more extensive tests and before I could even finish explaining she made the sludge retract from her organic parts without hesitation, forming a blobby mound underneath her as a base to keep her vertical, and revealing the only remaining organic parts left of her original body: her upper torso, upper arms, and head.
I was frozen for a minute at the terrifying sight of the seemingly fearsome monstrous outlaw completely letting her guard down and revealing that what was left of a broken woman…I couldn’t believe that I was looking at the same gal that just a minute before took the form of a creature from someone’s dark nightmares. Much different than her initial approach she softly murmured and desperately pleaded for me to fix her and to somehow make her fully human again; her voice quivering and crackling between two separate octaves. My heart broke as I gazed at her looking at me…I don’t know if she’s capable of crying, but tears or not, she was under extreme duress and she believed that perhaps I was one of her last chances at becoming whole again. An empty black orifice where her right eyeball used to be was the first thing that caught my attention. She had used her goop to cover up said orifice as if it were bangs in her hair…which she had absolutely none of other than her eyebrows and eyelashes. Her one eyed stare pierced straight to the core of my soul, begging for any semblance of relief from the constant waking anguish of merely existing.
Even more ghastly, the back of her skull was missing to where her brain and part of her spinal column was fully exposed! I am still trying to figure out how she is able to stay alive and function in her condition! She tried playing tough again, almost boasting that she had grown quite accustomed to floating in stasis tubes, being poked, prodded, and treated like a science project. The look of desperation in her eye called her bluff through her cocksure facial expression; I could tell that she still hated the idea of being vulnerable and disembodied from her sludge and it was more torturous than anything. I promised her that I would be as gentle as possible and that I would do my best to help her…even though I didn’t have a clue where to even begin. For starters I put her under, connected her organic body to a life support system, and subjected her to a stasis containment pod for dissection and observation her genetic makeup and figure out just who and what she was. I placed her sludge body in a separate tube and ran tests on it as well. My findings on it was inconclusive for the most part, however I was able to confirm that the sludge contained dominant traces of her DNA along with a generous amalgam of various protein strands, advanced cells, organic matter, and more complex toxic bio-chemical enzymes than you can shake a stick at!
Thanks to the lab computer database I was able to run a scan of her face, dental records, and a retinal scan of her eye; all signs point to the profile of a pretty Latina gal named Jen Mercado. I mean like REALLY pretty…not in a runaway model or movie star way, but in a 100% no makeup necessary natural way. She looked like the barista with the lovely smile that works at the local coffee shop or that gal that you would look forward to seeing every day around the same time jogging down the street while you’re out walking the dog. You know…the kinda gal that it would take a guy like me months to work up the courage to even ask her out, only to find out that she has a boyfriend. They all have boyfriends…though I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to date her in this form! I don’t even know if that’s a possibility at this point…I would imagine it would be extremely difficult to maintain a relationship with her! I couldn’t help but think what a waste of such a babe seeing the picture of what she looked like before she was turned into…this.
Unfortunately, Ms. Mercado’s profile is classified and other than her vital stats, there’s not much to go from. Hmm…I wonder just why her profile is classified; methinks someone was trying to sweep all of this under the rug! From all of the other information that I got on her dossier from newspaper headlines to criminal rap sheets and such, she is now known as ‘Murk’. Despite her fragmented physical form, her brain being openly exposed with no skull to protect it, and moderate erratic and irregular activity possibly due to her becoming unhinged, her brainwaves are surprisingly healthy and active. I could’ve just performed a retroactive brain scan and had access to all of her memories, but I didn’t want to violate her any further. Not to mention that she seems well aware of her past and just how she came to be in her current state.
As a scientist that has seen his fair share of bizarre and other horrific experimentations gone awry on human test subjects, I don’t think I’ve ever personally seen one to this magnitude. Granted, it looks as if not all is bad, as she has seemingly gained some incredible supernatural powers and abilities from her metamorphosis. However, it looks like a mistake was made in the rebuilding of her genetic code somewhere which led to a chain reaction of adverse effects…and causing her to mutate into what she is now. I’m sorry, but there’s no way that this is what they were going for when they subjected her to whatever process they had in mind, and if this is then how whacked must they…whoever “they” are…be to do this to a living, breathing human being?!?
Ah, she’s finally waking up. I hate to be the bearer of bad news that there’s not much that I can do to fix her at this point…her body is too far gone and I don’t have the slightest idea of how to reconstruct her highly toxic and unstable genetic code. The best solution that I could come up with would be for some sort of cybernetic prosthetic body replacement…however, she wants to be as normal as possible again and I don’t think that cybernetics is an acceptable answer. Besides, I’m already playing with fire by her simply being here right now and me using the lab for these tests…I know I can’t justify or explain to my superiors giving away any expensive cybernetics, even if a hostile mutated slime chick technically did abduct me from my apartment against my will!
Poor girl…I wonder who did this to her. It’s no wonder why she’s such a menace with a planet-sized chip on her shoulder and a criminal rap sheet tall enough to make it’s own conversation; I think I too would be more than a little salty towards the world if I was turned into a giant living blob of toxic waste with less than twenty-five percent of my original body and organs left. I feel like that while there’s no way to know exactly what life it like for her now, I would imagine that she is met with a lot of fear and rejection and jeers of disgust; that very same reaction that I usually get from women when they see me approaching. I know that pain all too well and I don’t even need toxic waste skin to warrant that level of repulsiveness. Call me crazy…or even depraved…but in some weird and morbid way as I watch her in this tender moment of lucidity; she’s still absolutely beautiful to me, sludge and all. Watching her body reform and reshape itself from a lumpy blob into her sleek feminine plus-sized figure is rather hypnotic…dare I say sexy even…like watching lava lamp. I’m feeling all warm and tingly as I stand here entranced at how the light accentuates her slick and curvaceous body, reflecting a hypnotic sheen from several rubbery surfaces along her malleable physique. Part of me feels a little weird and twisted that I find her so alluring…but I can’t turn away!
Despite her messiness and what most would consider a completely monstrous and grotesque form, her pale jaundiced face is virtually without blemish and looks just as beautiful as she did in the picture of her when she was simply Jen Mercado. If I knew for sure that her toxic body wouldn’t corrode through my protective suit, I’d attempt to embrace her and let her know that everything will be okay…I’ll bet the poor gal hasn’t had any intimate touch with anyone since her transformation. She’s probably so used to being treated as a feared monstrosity for so long that maybe she’s forgotten how it feels to be held and treated as a normal woman. As much as I’d love to imagine being her hero and restoring her…to the highly unlikely fantasy of her maybe even falling in love with me for doing so, I’ve got nothing. I’m even contemplating giving her money back…on second thought nah; I’m actually quite pissed about my aquarium! That thing wasn’t cheap, you know! And I don’t think my landlord is gonna be too happy to find out that the carpet, walls, and ventilation system are ruined thanks to a toxic slime girl breaking and entering into my pad! Plus, murk or not, a gal like her wouldn’t date a guy like me anyways…I know that good girls like bad boys, but I don’t think that bad girls like good guys either!
But I can’t help but feel an almost overwhelming sympathy for her. Her deflated body language signals that she already knows that I wasn’t able to come up with any answers or solutions to restore her to her former state. Part of me is a bit fearful that she’ll lash out at me in anger and possibly attack me; that’s why I have her sealed off in this container cell to see how she reacts to the bad news. Honestly…if she did try to attack me, I wouldn’t blame her at all. That feeling of fleeting hope that maybe things can change for the better yet being met with continued disappointment over and over again is one of the worst pains ever. No matter how hard you try, you still come up short despite your best efforts…it’s hard to keep picking yourself up again and again and eventually you get to a point where you just throw your hands in the air and say ‘To hell with it all’ and simply stop caring so much anymore. So far she really hasn’t budged other than to hold herself and sulk. I can only imagine how tormented and frustrated she must be…a lesser person would’ve have probably already killed themselves or at least gone psycho; from her ‘Murk’ dossier, she’s not that far away from insanity. Yet another part of me thinks that perhaps she is defeated yet again and fast losing hope if there even is a fix for her condition as she uncontrollably slips even further into the darkness of lost humanity.
I’m so sorry Jen…
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Here's a fan art of a longtime DA buddy of mine 's OC...the deadly Murk!!! If you aren't familiar with Murk or if you didn't read the story above () she's this badass gal who was an experiment gone wrong, which left most of her body her mutated into a living slimy blob of extremely toxic matter that can shape shift at her will.
Over the years, Chronorin has done several of my OC's by request and/or commission. Recently, I was able to revisit an updated version this piece that he did of Nikki back in 2009 and I saw where I initially commented, "...and I'm definitely gonna crank out a fan art of Murk for you one of these days!" Well...that day has FINALLY come!!!! Murk is seriously one of my favorite original characters on all of DA...I've always been a fan of her and loved her design and such. And since Chronorin has done such a wonderful job on my OC's over the years, I wanted to make good on my word of giving Miss Murk a shot!
I really like how the actual drawing came out...rather than display her looking all badass as she's typically displayed, I wanted to draw her in a more passive and milder light. As the pose came about, I got the idea to do a narrative story where she was to be seen in a "sympathy for the devil" type of moment as opposed the vicious anti-heroine/outlaw that she is. I tried to make her murky sludge body shiny and goop-like...and I employed a few of the coloring tricks that I've picked up over time to make my cyborg OC's shimmer, including the recent tip I picked up about using a layer of a dark shade of blue to help achieve a reflective/shiny look. I also too liberties with her facial skin tone...Chronorin usually colors her face devoid of color...I used a dark medium skin tone since she was originally a Latina and desaturated the hell out of it to where there's still a hint of human coloring.
As for the story...as usual, once I got started, it just started flowing! I got the idea of a lonely, outcast yet brilliant scientist guy with low self-esteem for some reason and I just went with it! I wonder why it's sometimes easier for me to come up with story ideas for other people's characters, but have a hard time trying to figure out what I want to do for my own OC's!
So here's a lesson gals and guys...there's an inkling that if I've said that I would like to take a crack at drawing your character in the past, that I might actually make good on my words! It just might take a while!
And if you haven't, go check out my man 's gallery...lots more of Murk and a whole bunch of other cool stuff there!!!
Murk belongs to
This drawing and story done by
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Comments: 38
Zoe-the-Pink-Ranger [2017-10-29 20:16:41 +0000 UTC]
This is beautifully done with a moving story
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Mr-Marcus-81 In reply to Zoe-the-Pink-Ranger [2017-11-04 22:36:50 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
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Mr-Marcus-81 In reply to Jamibug [2015-06-23 02:37:57 +0000 UTC]
Thanks man! Been a fan of Murk for several years now b/c she is indeed creepy/sexy! Go check her out in Choronin's gallery!
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Jamibug In reply to Mr-Marcus-81 [2015-06-23 04:17:26 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, I checked him out and now I'm a watcher.
By the way, did you get the TLC reference?
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Mr-Marcus-81 In reply to Jamibug [2015-06-23 04:46:36 +0000 UTC]
I did! Crazy/Sexy/Cool...Creepy/Sexy/Gross!
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zkfanart [2015-02-28 20:43:20 +0000 UTC]
Woa, the way you drew the murk covering her in a very cool and sexy way, got awesome!
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cocoaberi [2015-02-26 00:55:49 +0000 UTC]
That drawing and story are...Amazing...gripping and intelligent (thank goodness for spell check or I would never get that word right!) When reading you see this girl thru this guy's eyes which helps to shape both their characters in the reader's mind but more importantly makes one care about them both (well, that's what it did for me)...really well written and drawn.
As for the Nice Guy vs Bad Guy---Nice girls actually do like nice guys, problem is most "nice" people have been heart broken and misused by so-called nice guys/girls, which can often leave a permanent stain in their psych about , "nice" people. Another factor in all this is..what is NICE? For some of us women-- nice is= love, respect and thoughtfulness. For others a nice guy is a guy who beats them less than their last boyfriend. That being said..."nice" can mean a lot of things depending on how that person filters it thru their life experiences and expectations.
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Mr-Marcus-81 In reply to cocoaberi [2015-03-11 23:01:56 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoy both the story and the drawing! I'm a big fan of 's OC Murk and have been for several years now! I'm glad that I was able to do her justice!
And I feel you on the whole nice guy vs. bad boy thing; I think you hit the nail on the head...what is "nice"? I think that's where the confusion lies...a lot of self-proclaimed "nice guys" that whine and complain about not being able to get a gal hear their female friends, often the ones that they like but put them in the "friendzone", also complain about how much they want a nice guy...but all they seem to attract are jerks and bad boys! These "nice guys" don't realize that nice to her doesn't mean doing everything that they THINK a woman wants. Sure, most women actually do want a guy that's respectable and sweet to them...but women also want assertive, confident men.
A lot of times these "nice guys" aren't so confident and assertive; they'll do whatever it takes to win the affections of the girl b/c they don't want to lose her and their "niceness" is their undoing. Most women like a challenge...."nice guys" typically aren't at all challenging and are very predictable in their approach. Women don't want a needy puppy dog of a man that will do every single thing she says...if that was the case, then she'd just get an actual puppy dog!
And then you have some guys that claim that they are nice guys, yet just b/c they say they're nice doesn't actually mean that they are and their actions will show different. These are the guys that go on blogs and websites dogging out women b/c they can't get a date...there's a difference in being frustrated as to why you can't get a date vs. just being a flat out douche that thinks he's entitled to dates and sex just b/c he's nice. Those guys usually become bitter pick up artists that read all of those books on how to have sex with any woman you meet and in essence become a jerk just to score with as many women as he can as his way for getting back at women.
I think the key for guys that aren't Alpha males is to be CONFIDENT above everything else. Even if you are a Beta male (like myself) it doesn't hurt to add a dash or two of Alpha into your personality to spice things up a bit. Seek validation in yourself and your life rather than seeking it from a woman, a job, or any other fleeting material source. I know that women are attracted to goal-driven men, and if a guy has his eye on the prize in whatever in life and he's confident and secure in himself then that will boost his attraction.
And most importantly....DON'T BECOME BITTER TOWARDS WOMEN!!!! That does nothing but make things worse and women won't only see bitter beta males as unattractive, but downright repulsive and pathetic!
I haven't figured it all out, nor am I an expert...but I have observed a few things when it comes to this nice guy vs. bad boy stuff considering that I was one of those "nice guys" myself!
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cocoaberi In reply to Mr-Marcus-81 [2015-03-12 04:30:51 +0000 UTC]
Society tends to lean greatly toward "couples" , lots of friends, family, money, beauty and sex so people who don't have those things tend to feel left out and yes some get pretty bitter indeed. I really like what you said here....and this can apply to both men and women...about seeking validation in yourself not in other people or things.
You also made some points I had not thought about!!!
Thanks!!
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Mr-Marcus-81 In reply to cocoaberi [2015-03-17 21:55:25 +0000 UTC]
Yep...there is this weird stigma nowadays where it's seen as a bad thing if you are single. Sure, I do believe that it's a natural and innate desire for men and women to want intimate companionship that goes beyond friendship. However, I feel that this makes it extra stressful for those of us that are perpetually single and even for those that are used to being in relationships...the fear and added pressure of being alone often causes folks to compromise their standards of what they want in a mate rather than being confident and secure by themselves as they wait for a person that it better suited to them. I know I've been guilty of settling WAY TOO MANY TIMES!!!!
It goes back to what I was saying about finding validation from myself...right now I'm in the midst of getting my life together and stable to where once that dream gal of mine does finally enter my life, things will be stable enough so that I can be the best man that I can be for both her and myself. My most recent relationship (from Oct '14 until Dec '14) quickly dissolved once I lost my job and my already fragile self-confidence took a blow. Things quickly went south as my confidence continued to dwindle and instead of her having my back and being understanding, she wasn't having it. Truth is that she wasn't ready for a relationship and neither was I.
You're welcome! I didn't mean for this to turn into a thread about sociology, but I love talking about this kind of stuff!
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cocoaberi In reply to Mr-Marcus-81 [2015-03-18 04:20:57 +0000 UTC]
Well, by the time Miss Right comes by you will be good and ready for her. My hope is that she will be ready for you too!!!
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Mr-Marcus-81 In reply to cocoaberi [2015-03-18 16:02:10 +0000 UTC]
Yep...I heard a great quote from preacher Andy Stanley on dating/marriage not too long ago, "Are you the person that the person you're looking for is looking for?" Right now I can honestly say that I'm not. But I'm working on it!
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cocoaberi In reply to Mr-Marcus-81 [2015-03-20 19:40:03 +0000 UTC]
That is a great comment haha!!! Maybe your closer to who and where you should be than you think!!!
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Mr-Marcus-81 In reply to cocoaberi [2015-03-21 01:07:15 +0000 UTC]
Perhaps...but I know I've still got a LONG way to go!
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Chronorin [2015-02-23 18:07:50 +0000 UTC]
Okay! Read it and loved it. It's really cool to see how she appears from someone else's point-of-view... the male narrator is a lot like me. Only skinny. heh.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Mr-Marcus-81 In reply to Chronorin [2015-02-23 23:08:22 +0000 UTC]
Sweet...I'm glad that you like it! Yeah, it just developed and took on a life of its own. My best friend and I have recently become unofficial sociologist and have been hard at work trying to crack the age old myth of why nice guys finish last...as a nice guy who is now "aware" (somewhat at least) it was pretty easy to draw on my own life experiences a little here. He's a lot like me to some extent as well...skinniness and all!
And while I've enjoyed Thai food every time I've had it, I don't eat it that often. And I like to think that I've had some success with the ladies and that I'm not completely repulsive even though I am currently single!
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Chronorin In reply to Mr-Marcus-81 [2015-02-24 15:22:46 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, girls don't like it if you're too nice. I'm way uglier than I used to be, but it seems like girls like me a bit more now than when I was young and pretty and nice. The key is to be just about enough, without going over the edge and turning into one of those MRA fucktards. You ever read their websites? They're pathetic.
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Mr-Marcus-81 In reply to Chronorin [2015-02-25 04:42:37 +0000 UTC]
Yep...as I mentioned I've been "awakened"; I'm a former "nice guy". I used to get frustrated and bitter to no end as to why I couldn't get dates and would constantly get friendzoned by gals that I liked, only to have those same female friends complain when some dude treated them like dirt! Eventually, I pretty much just stopped trying with women so hard and realized that it's the nature of the beast with women being attracted to the bad boys and thugs...ultimately it's all about confidence and self-esteem; something that I've ALWAYS struggled with!
No, I wasn't ANYWHERE CLOSE to the levels of those MRA...you're right, I have seen them and the radical fem-nazis go at it tooth and nail on some of those websites and I think that both of them are pathetic. (Not the sensible feminists that actually want equal rights for women; I'm with them and stand in full support of equality for everyone...be it for gender, racial, sexual preference, etc purposes. I know that you're a supporter of feminism as well; I saw the forum thread that one of the mods/DA admins closed on your page for some reason. Actually, I would probably say that I'm more of a humanitarian/egalitarian than I am specifically a supporter of feminism)
I randomly did some research into the field of feminism a few weeks ago after hearing so much about Anita Sarkeesian and her war against the video gaming industry...I decided to check out some of her vids just to see what she was saying, and while I agreed with many of her points, there was a lot that I didn't agree with as well. I talked to one of my best friends from college on Facebook...who I didn't realize had become a feminist...and I mentioned that I was delving into the world of feminism b/c as a black man, I see a lot of the same arguments that black folks make when it comes to equality in the feminist movement, and I didn't want to be a completely oblivious "entitled" man insensitive to women's rights.
Maybe I shouldn't have done that...I was trying to show solidarity with my old friend; actually she was one of my best friends from college and she and several of her feminist friends (one a mutual friend of ours, another a male feminist) pretty much jumped on me after I jokingly pointed out how in many of my findings how "nice guys" were demonized and vilified...of course I took notice of that being a former "nice guy" myself and still sympathetic to those guys that are stuck there wondering why they can't get a date. That threw open the floodgates of a fury that I wasn't ready for...supposedly, "nice guys" (according to many feminists) are sneaky, manipulative, and think they are "entitled" to getting women/dates/sex simply b/c they are "nice". As in they don't think that these guys are genuinely nice, kind, polite men...which is what I didn't understand.
I was raised to be polite and kind to everyone...ESPECIALLY women and my elders. It actually hurt to see my longtime good friend pretty much steamroll me and LITERALLY write a blog on the spot and threw me under the bus within said blog...not even wanting to hear my side of the coin. I asked her...to which I didn't get an answer to other than more male-bashing...did she ever think that I was ever not genuine in my niceness and kindness to her in our friendship? (Mind you, I did try to ask her out at one point...to which she emphatically replied to my face, "HELL NO!!!! I wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole!") And to be honest, that whole experience left a REALLY bad taste in my mouth when it comes to feminism, b/c I kept seeing a common theme of double standards and one-sided arguments where many feminists aren't willing to see things from the POV of others and continue to have a healthy discussion without bickering and straight up man-hate.
It's rather confusing and hella frustrating to be fed this lie from society that "women like nice men that treat them well and respect them", yet when you do...you're being "too nice" or "like a brother" as you watch her date these extreme douche nozzles that dog her out while sitting on the sidelines. Years and years of that tends to wear down on a guy and they wonder why these dudes are bitter and frustrated! Now...I have since learned that bitter frustration is NOT how one should react to this b/c it just keeps you in that same state of being lonely and dateless and in extreme cases they become "MRA f**ktards" as you so eloquently put it! Those guys are hopeless and don't realize that their vitriol is their undoing; they'll NEVER get a gal with that mindset!
Uber bitter PUA's are equally as pathetic to me as well! "Waaaaaah....some girl I really liked broke my heart and now to get back at women I'm just gonna be a complete dickhead and bang as many hot chicks as I can! Come to my seminars and/or by my book and I'll tell you the secret of how to have your pick of gorgeous women at your beck and call!" Please...gtfoh with that shit!
I would imagine that you are much more confident and assured in yourself despite your feelings of how you physically view yourself, and I think that comes with age...give or take you're roughly around my age, right? (Early-mid 30's) It's taken me YEARS to finally get to where I am and I still have a ways to go, but I have decided that while I may be a well-mannered Beta male, I refuse to be that sniveling whiny, clueless "nice guy" anymore. No, I haven't turned into a complete jerk or am I a whiny bitter MRA...however, I have realized that I need to work on getting my life together, build up my confidence/self-esteem, realize that validation comes from within and not from a girlfriend, a job, money, material things, etc, and be content and happy with who I am. B/c if I'm never happy with myself, then how am I ever gonna be the man that I need to be to compliment the awesome woman that I hope to one day have as a wife?
Sorry for the sermon, but this is something that is definitely near and dear to my heart!
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Chronorin In reply to Mr-Marcus-81 [2015-02-27 04:26:04 +0000 UTC]
Man, you said a mouthful. I can certainly relate.
I sometimes remind myself that women and men aren't so different, and to not fall into this mindset of "women want bad things, they must be crazy or something." I went on a short date with a girl last September, and she was... the female equivalent of the Nice Guy. A little too clingy and desperate to please. I found myself not wanting to really see her again. I told her i didn't have the time, which is true -- i've been insanely busy lately. At the same time, i realize that if this was happening with the funky Russian girl from work, i would MAKE the time.
So she's probably thinking, what's wrong with me? Why can't i even attract that fat loser, Chronorin? Nothing's wrong with her. Except for being too nice.
I dunno, our modern ways are strange. All of us are looking for the most fun and most interesting thing possible, rather than trying to build some sort of stable household with a perfectly logical and stable partner. Just like we're all trying to be artists and rock stars and software geniuses, rather than becoming a plumber or a truck driver. We're all angling for the grand prize, because it's been dangled in front of us since we were born.
And yeah, it means that we're all going to make bad decisions and pass up the safe, decent thing until we're old and realize how stupid and picky we've been. America is a casino, and we're all gambling.
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Mr-Marcus-81 In reply to Chronorin [2015-03-02 00:45:56 +0000 UTC]
Yeah...through all of the research that me and my homie have been doing, that's very true in that women and men aren't so different in what we want. And I totally feel you...there are one or two gals on my radar that are rather cute gals, but they're rather plain and boring. I like a little spunk and moxy to my gals...a lady that I can be silly and joke with and that she'll get my weird sense of humor and contribute her own. Even better if she's a geek; although my geek meter is only about a 4 or 5, a geeky gal is more likely to appreciate my love of the crazy characters that I draw/write and will probably enjoy a nice evening in playing video games.
I don't really watch any of the geeky shows/movies (Dr. Who, Walking Dead, Harry Potter, LOTR, etc) but I am willing to snuggle up together on the couch and watch any of those if that's her thing. My most recent girlfriend was a big "Big Bang Theory" fan...I thought the show was only okay (I don't get why it's so popular...Sheldon is annoying as hell!!! But I did like Amy Farrah Fowler, and Leonard reminds me of an uber smarter version of me!), but it was fun watching while cuddling with her.
And true on making the time for someone. After breaking up with the gal that I just mentioned in late Dec, there was another gal that liked me...and I just wasn't really attracted to her. She actually wasn't too nice or boring at all; she was quite wild and young...and immature...she eventually unfriended me on Facebook b/c I sent her a polite message telling her that I wasn't interested. Plus she just turned 25...I'll be 34 in a month! She's younger than my little sister!!!! I used the "I just got out of a relationship; I need some time to get my life together" line...which actually is VERY TRUE. However, there are two young ladies at the top of my list that if it were them that I had know liked me...I'd probably be quite hesitant in saying that! Same with the age thing...I know for a fact that prospect no. 2 is 30, but if I were to find out that prospect no. 1 is below the age of 26, then I might actually consider going after a gal that's younger than my little sister. Hell, one of my previous girlfriends was only like a few months older than my sis...but she too was a bit immature and that's why I'm cautious with gals in that age range.
I don't know if I'd say that we're always looking for the most fun and interesting thing possible. I think that chemistry and attraction are a big part of what it takes to create a successful relationship. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a boring gal that I have very little in common with or a gal that I'm not physically attracted to just for logic and stability's sake; and I don't think I'm the only guy that feels that way. And from my experiences and observations, I don't think most women want to be with dull, predictable men who are just great providers. I don't think it's so much of being picky...I think that it's subconscious human nature and I do think that there's a strong sexual element to it. Picky is "I only want to date a gal with D cup boobs, no taller than 5'5", nice booty, petite but not too skinny, thick but not too plump, long/short/curly hair, blue/brown/hazel eyes, etc..." I think it's quite alright to be selective in what we want in a mate...only as long as one's expectations are reasonable and realistic.
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Chronorin [2015-02-23 04:22:27 +0000 UTC]
Freakin' sweet, dude!
Crap... i have to get ready to go to work, but i'll read the story on my phone at work, no doubt.
Thanks again. Murk fanarts are the best fanarts.
^__^
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Mr-Marcus-81 In reply to Chronorin [2015-02-23 23:09:19 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome bud! And agreed...Murk fanarts are quite awesome! (Though I'm rather partial of fan arts of my OC's Sapphira and Nikki!)
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