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I have a lot of friends on DA who have been dealing with a sort of contagious and deep-seated depression. There seems to be a very serious draining of self-confidence on this website, and while I can't say for sure the source (I suspect it's something to do with the fact that we are all drowning in pony porn and endless anime fan art), I would like to say a few words on the feeling of loss and failure, because I think it's something that we are all struggling with here on DA.

I know what it is like, all too well, to pour your heart and soul into a piece of art, and watch it die in obscurity.

For a very good chunk of time now, i have tried to break into writing. I have written a number of short stories, submitted them, and watched them be rejected by publication after publication. Not simply rejected: there's no grandiosity in it, no criticism, no remarks or comments, nothing but the bland, almost robotic letter saying "Goodbye and Thanks for all the Fish" that every pathetic schlub with Microsoft Word gets in his email. I understand all too well the poem about when Jesus went to Birmingham, and decided that the passion Cross was preferable to the complete apathy of modern man: better the grandiose and almost theatrical torments of Dante's hell than the petty ennui of Hades as told by Sartre or CS Lewis. A rejection letter that is a ranting and raving scree, talking about how stupid, how ignorant, how utterly untalented and unprepossessing the writer is, that's a thing a person can subsume and even see as a source of motivation. That's something you can frame, even laugh at. But what do you do when the letter is nothing but a bland, dull, almost groveling polite bit of copy pasta? How do you even process it?

I submitted to fifteen magazines and gotten fifteen rejections. At least they take the time to inform you in a timely manner. No point in dilly-dallying when it comes to killing dreams.

And I've read them. Oh yes, I've read every rejection letter I've ever received thoroughly, my eyes glazing over as I scan that single paragraph that, in different circumstances, could easily be a Hallmark card: Dear writer, thank you SOOOOOOOOOOO much for submitting your work! <3 <3 <3 <3 Unfortunately we cannot, at this time, for vague and unspecified reasons, accept your work..........blah, blah, blah, it's all downhill from here.

Magazine editors really can be bastards.

And then there are webcomics and the platforms that host them. If you do webcomics, you know about platforms, don't you? Tapas? WEbtoons? You know them well, and you know the dynamics. To put it simply, friends, if you don't draw anime, you can blow your dreams of success on these platforms right out the ol' chocolate starfish (the fickle fecal echinoderm that is, unfortunately, the destination for many a dream). That's not to say that there aren't good comics with good western-style art that don't get attention, but Jesus Holy Savior SOn of God on a POGO STICK, are there people who just fall into obscurity for NO FREAKING REASON. I could mention names, but I do webcomic features and recs on most of them, so...a bit redundant. But the truth is, I see a lot of success that is disproportionate to talent on the anime style and fan art side of things, especially when a lot of very talented people who DON'T utilize this style are completely ignored. I'm not saying it's " ANIME BAD", no. All art has its place, and there is a talent to drawing anime, of course there is. In addition, popcorn slaggery has its place, and I LOVE me some popcorn slaggery. But we are drowning in slaggery, and there seems to be a bias in the cultural zeitgeist that favors anything that falls into a particular box, no matter how utterly unoriginal it is. Dear God, the top comics list on Webtoons is about as diverse as a midwest Republican rally. Just about everything on that site with a higher than 8 star rating is either a shojo or an ecchi, and it all looks more or less the same in art style

Now , keep in mind, I know why I in particular suck at this whole webcomics thing: its because I suck as an artist. But even knowing this intellectually hardly cushions the blow of staring at your sub count and just.............just sort of feeling that crumbling sensation inside. I think most of you know what that feeling is like, when you watch what you love sink slowly and without spectacle into the mire, for no reason at all.

So I understand why people want to walk away. Why people want to give up. I've heard talks of suicide on DA, I've heard talks of throwing the ol' art set into the trash and just calling it quits. You watch what you love die, and not just that, but watch people flock to what is conventional in response to that death, and it is VERY tiring. You comfort yourself, for a long time, with phrases like "sell out" and "artistic integrity", but you know they don't mean anything. It builds up inside of you, like a tumor, until finally you don't see the point in any of it.

I understand letting rejection and the feelings of failure completely consume you. But giving up because of rejection (no matter how much of it there was) is like the story of the smoking medical student: he read so much on how smoking causes cancer, that he finally gave up on reading and became a carpenter. If you have to step out, then please, step out. If you feel that posting and drawing and posting and drawing is a tiresome cycle, and you have to take a break, then please! Take a break. Letting a hobby burn you out is not wise. BUt I beg you not to walk away, or to give up, or to doubt yourself so thoroughly that you chuck the whole of your artistic endeavors into the dust bin. I understand the existential crisis of living a civilian life of insignificance, and then coming to a hobby your insignificance is once again amplified. Rejection is something that comes to us all, and while you do get used to it in a sense, you always feel it. It may not burn, but it always stings. Yet the sting of rejection really can be drowned out by even the slightest tinge of success.

Do this for me. Look at your Watcher count. It might be 500. It might be 50. But I want you to look at this way: that is 50 people that have seen your art that would otherwise have never known about it. That is a FAMILY's worth of people who have looked at what you have produced, and now have in their consciousness the output of your creativity. I know this is very kitsch, but I want you all to realize something. You have, by joining DA and by uploading your work onto it, taken the first key step, and really the bravest step: you have put yourself out there. You have leapt into the chaos, jumped into the void, put your work into the hands of whomever may be watching. You have, in short, TRIED. And all that is required is to try again, to leap again, to chart forward into this wilderness.

I know, once again, this is very kitsch, but I don't know any other way to face rejection. You have to see this as a journey that you have started, into a wilderness you cannot comprehend, to find a treasure whose value you cannot know. To compare yourself to others is a waste of time: it's not a competition, it's not eve a FAIR comparison or a fair metric. TO destroy yourself or end your endeavors is a gross waste of talent and potential. I can't tell anyone how to feel, but only what works for me: see this time of creating and posting and communicating with others on these platforms as a kind of adventure. I have started to see my writing and my comics less and less as "This is what is successful, I must do THIS, I must be like THiS person, I must have THIS many Watchers/subscribers/choose your poison" and more along the lines of "This is MY work, I will do this MY way, I will improve MY output". It becomes a personal endeavor, a journey of self-improvement independent of others.

I am not, of course, saying not to listen to criticism or to practice and takes steps to improve your work. Take pride in what you do, and listen to those who stick by you while you do it. But what I AM advising you to do is not to allow the feelings of rejection and obscurity blossom into a hopelessness that dissuades you from creating art. This is not a competition: it's far too personal for that. And there is no guarantee of fame: art would hardly be worth doing if that were the case. But see this as a personal project, as a matter of growth, as a way of reaching out into the world and seeing what you find. The response may be miniscule, but it is still a response. If you have reached someone, it is still more than what you would have if you never reached at all. You may be rejected, but you should never stop trying. This journey is yours: don't abdicate it so freely.

I know that was all very ranty, and I'm sorry, but I hope I've helped at least one or two of the people I wanted to address. I hope you all feel at least a little bit better. Best of wishes,

RJR