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MrRemoraman — Through the Rye 68
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Published: 2019-08-13 16:04:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 125; Favourites: 11; Downloads: 0
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OHMY
GOD THIS LOOKS LIKE CRAP.
Yeah, I'm sorry guys. I'm still looking for a scanner. Might update this when I find one. In the meantime.......eh, enjoy as best as you are able.
Yours,
RJR
UPDATE: We're back in business!
Next page: www.deviantart.com/mrremoraman…
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Comments: 14
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[just fyi: i'm trying to read through and comment on things as i go, but am also happy to write up a more thorough response to the comic, once it's finished.]
in terms of the narrative progression: i was on board with the whole face-melting drug den adventure, but the transition on this page is a *bit* unclear to me. like, are we just switching back to a totally different scene, with Rosie watching the creepy-critters slice each other up on the tape - or was the drug den adventure WHAT Rosie saw on the tape? I know you're gong for some meta/media commentary in this project, so perhaps your response will be: both interpretations are valid. but if that's the case, I still think you need some way of indicating that (some way of cuing your reader to think about whether the drug den episode and the critter torture are both unfolding at the same time, in real time) - because even ambiguity has to be flagged AS ambiguity, right? Otherwise it's just a lack of clarity. So, either having the colour of the tape intrude in the drug den scene, or having the drug den characters framed by the TV. If that's not the case - if Rosie JUST saw the critters - then perhaps a more obvious way of indicating the scene change..? Such as having the page-break align with the scene break.
It's your story, of course, and you're the only one who can tell it; i'm just trying to give you a sense of where one particular reader was following you, and where she got lost.
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No, that's a valid criticism.
It is on the tape. I actually do address this later on, but I probably should have been more clear about this here (having it framed and seeing Rosie's reaction is something I would do, if I could do it all over). I DID consider coloring all this, but:
a) VERY time consuming
b) it would make this looks like a cartoon, rather than something that is "real" that is on the tape. I decided it would make things MORE confusing soooo...yeah.
I really need to make it more clear moving forward, but I just haven't managed to figure quite yet. I kind of experiment as I go along. I really appreciate your feedback, and you'll have to forgive my clumsy efforts at representing what is essentailly us viewing veiwers who are viewing material. Creepypasta is EASY street, and makes it clear what is being watched: but of course, it uses media that we already "know" isn't supposed to be real. I wanted to blend the lines here, and I don't think I managed it all that well.
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Yeah, for sure - it's not an easy project, and I totally get how when you're a hobbyist, everything has to be trial and error. It's the fastest way to learn, and sometimes it means that you come up with a better idea a few weeks after you've finished a page, but you can't really afford to go back and redo it, so it just has to remain what it is. I sometimes get really provocative comments that make me go, "huh.. wish I'd thought of that before" - but realistically, all I can do is carry that knowledge forward, because it would be hard go back and change what's already done. My sense, though, is that this is an important project for you, and that it might go through other iterations before it's through. So I'm makin' my comments, for what they're worth!
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Well I’m very appreciative of them!
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I hope so. I’m not always sure. You solicit criticism & feedback but respond to points in a very selective manner. I’m sure it’s a matter of time and not respect for the commenter, but since you seem genuinely concerned about offending readers, I’ll venture to say that it does sometimes come across as the latter. I don’t mean to be fussy or confrontational; just thought I’d say something, because it occurred to me that may not even know when something you say comes across as disrespectful.
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Oh, no, it's quite alright! Mostly its just time crunch: a lot of times I mean to say more or even explain myself more, but I have to cut it short. I also have a fear of...I dunno, saying too much? Inundating people with explanations or excuses? I keep things succinct generally. I do read everything I get, and I take most criticism to heart, but there are times when I either a) respond to something really quickly and forget to address everything or say everything I meant to or b) mean to respond to something and just forget to as other things pile up.
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Right - I totally get that. Life is busy, and you are stretched quite a bit thinner on this website than I am. I didn't mean to imply that I expect people to respond to every single point I make about their art. That would be kinda nuts! I just needed to clear some ground, because I think I heard a few of the things you said somewhat differently than you intended.
Also, in case it came across this way: totes not trying to guilt anyone into commenting on my art, just because I comment on theirs. Having people engage with your work makes the whole DA experience more fun, but I'm gunna keep doing my thing, even if nobody reads it. I read & comment on other people's work because I genuinely enjoy it, and because it inspires me and gives me ideas about how to solve problems in my own projects - but I know those projects aren't to everyone's tastes!
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It's not as bad as you think it is dude. I'm just happy to see more of the comic
And I like the color contrast too
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I think it looks like something from a serial killer's basement. Like a JPEG of a polaroid that's going to end up in some metropolitan ripper's wikipedia article.
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Yeah, I know the kind of style you're talking about. I've seen a game before that reminds me of that.
Nice work
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