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NecroCephalopod — Insult to Injury (RWBY/RVB)
#crossover #fanart #funny #halo #hilarious #redvsblue #roosterteeth #rose #ruby #rvb #schnee #weiss #funnyhilarious #rvbredvsblue #rubyrose #crossoverfanart #rwby #weissschnee #rwbyrubyrose #roosterteethfanart #rvbrwby #rwbyfanart #rubyxweiss #rwbyroosterteeth #rwbyweissschnee #rvbredteam #rwbycrossovers #rvbblueteam
Published: 2019-10-14 15:21:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 50225; Favourites: 527; Downloads: 16
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Description
Previously*RVB Opening Theme*
On the Blue Base's roof
Church: The fuck are they doing over there?
He's right, what on Earth are the Red's doing. Through his rifle's scope, he sees the Reds building something on their roof what appears to be, a signboard?! First the stink formula, now this? Who's giving them these stupid ideas anyway? Hey don't look at me, I'm just the narrator!
Caboose: Hello!
Out of the blue, no pun intended, Caboose pops up into Church's view.
Church: Aaaaah! Goddammit, don't scare me like that!
Caboose: Sorry. Whatcha watching?
Church: Check this out.
Church gives Caboose a peak through the scope.
Church: I don't know what they're building, but it looks like a signboard.
Caboose: Signboard? Aww, not another highway advertisement!
Church: Who knows what they're using it for. My guess is Sarge just wanted to write something to mock us, that's for sure.
Caboose: Or maybe they're planning to advertise their products so that they can earn a quick profit.
Church: What? Who the fuck would be buying their junk? Not us of course.
Caboose: Maybe Sangheili's passing by in the atmosphere?
Church: Guess we'll have to find out ourselves. By the way, what are you doing up here?
Caboose: Oh right! I'm here to tell you that Weiss is awake! Hooray!
Church: It's about time that Ice Queen wakes up. Here take the rifle, I'm going to have word with her.
Caboose: Uhm, Church, what about me?
Church: I don't know just... spy on the Red's construction I guess. Call me out if anything new comes up.
At the Blue Base, Weiss' Room
I'm never going near another trash bin for a week. Weiss thought to herself as she takes another sip of her coffee, specially prepared by none other than Kaikaina. Weiss gotta hand it to the Grif, this is one hell of a caffeine.
Kaikaina: You want Dr. Kai to get you some meds?
Weiss: No no, I'm perfectly fine. No need to concern yourselves over me. I've been through worse situations before.
Tucker: Schnee, you passed out since yesterday! I doubt you're still fine.
Kaikaina: Yeah. Plus you even puke while you slept.
Weiss: I beg your pardon?
Kaikaina: Nothing!
The door opens as Church enter to see Weiss fully recovered from her sixteen hour coma.
Church: Good to see the Snow White has awaken from her deathly slumber. Tell me, did the 'Prince of the Holy Sword' kiss you?
Tucker: Wha-? No way I wouldn't do that while a chick's old cold! Though I would if she wants to... do you, baby?
SMASH!!!
Weiss hits Tucker with her mug, shattering it in the process. Even with his helmet on, he somehow felt the pain in the side of his head.
Tucker: OW! I was just saying!
Weiss: At least learn how to shut that perverted mouth of yours, Lavernius! Hmph.
Church: Not as perverted as suggesting a tight bikini wrestling match yesterday.
Weiss: *shiver* Don't bring up that idea again.
Tucker: So, Church. I'm guessing this isn't just to check up on her, is it?
Church: Nope. In fact I'm here to talk about her fight with the Red yesterday.
Tucker: Oh that one. Man it was awesome!
Church: I'm not talking about that! From what I saw, she and that Red seem know each other. Is that right, Schnee?
Everybody turn their heads to Weiss.
Weiss: I don't want to talk about it.
Church: Well too bad, we are going to talk about it whether you like it or not. So what were you two before, best friends?
Tucker: Rivals?
Kaikaina: Lovers?
Everybody looks at Kai.
Kaikaina: What, was I really the only one thinking that when they were fighting?
Tucker: Speaking of lovers, were you two bisexu-
Church: Shut the fuck up Tucker! Look just explain from the beginning, don't care how long, just say it.
Weiss: ... Fine if that's to prevent you guys from asking me again and again in the future, so be it. Did I told you guys about the a military academy I studied at before I came to Blood Gulch?
Everyone: No.
Weiss: Of course. Anyways, me and... that girl, were for a lack for a better word, partners.
Kaikaina: Hell yeah, I knew you guys were lovers!
Church: She's not referring to that kind of 'partnership'!
Weiss: Our relationship was somewhat great if you could say that. Not the brightest girls I know, but she was alright once you get to know her more.
Kaikaina: Kinda reminds me of this girl I knew before coming here.
Tucker: She a friend?
Kaikaina: Nah we fucked, literally.
Tucker: Woo baby!
Weiss: Would you mind?
Tucker: Sorry.
Church: So how did your relationship go downhill?
Weiss: Oh you would not believe what I've been through. One day, we were posted at this base on a planetoid as part of our final assignment. I think it's called Amity. Anyways the job was simple, follow your superior's orders and make sure no unathorized personal gets in. Everything was fine for the first week. Soldiers talking around, complaining about the weather, you name it.
Tucker: Is it me, or does this story sounded familiar?
Church: Shh!
Weiss: Me and my partner weren't together most of the time there cause we were given two different orders. She patrols around the base while I sit in the server room, keeping away not only unauthorized intruders but 'undisciplined' hands as well. I mean who would be watching porn in a state of the art archive machine? Not only are they disgusting like Tucker,-
Tucker: Hey!
Weiss: -but they have arrogantly ignore their duties and-
Church: Schnee? Hate to remind you but, this isn't a therapy session.
Weiss: Sorry. Anyway, I kept away undisciplined hands from the server room.
Transition fade to flashback
Amity guard 01: Oh come on honey, just one download. Pleeeeaaaassee!
Weiss: No.
Amity guard 02: Look kid. There's nothing to do but standing around here and talk all day. Some of us have already died of boredom!
Weiss: And since when did that happen, 'sir'?
Amity guard 02: Uhm... last Tuesday.
Weiss: That incident? He didn't die of boredom! He just slipped and broke his neck upon impact. Plus he's still alive! I can't believe you all here. You're supposed to be soldiers fighting for your government and still you act like conscripts from the past!
Amity guard 01: Hey don't blame us, blame human nature.
And that's when the base shooked. Space pirates. One of the guards I talked to started panicking.
Amity guard 02: OH MY GOD, WE'RE BEING ATTACKED! WE'RE DOOMED!!!
Every guard in the room rushed out until the commander called me. He ordered me to collect all the data to prevent them from falling into enemy hands, so I did what I was told. Once I got the data, I was to rendezvous at the landing bays to be evacuated. On the way to the bay, I came across my partner along with some guy she's carrying over he shoulders.
Weiss: Ruby, what's going on?
Ruby: I don't know! Some guys just came out of nowhere and start blowing up the place. Command ordered us to fight back before reinforcements arrive.
Weiss: Well go and stop them.
Ruby: We can't! These guys are heavily armed and we're loosing a lot of men! Our top priority now is getting everybody out of here!
Weiss: Command's new orders?
Ruby: Nope.
Weiss: Then who's order is that?
Ruby: Uhm... mine?
Weiss: WHAT?!
Ruby: Look just help us out and we'll explain to command later.
Weiss: I can't, I have to get out of here! I'm carrying the base's data and is highly important that I evacuate immediately.
Ruby: What?! What about everyone here? We can't just leave them to die here!
That's when I got shot in the arm. My partner started fighting the intruders back while I run off to the landing bays to keep the data safe. It was miracle the landing bay wasn't attacked yet and so I manage to escape safely. The data was secured but the base, not so much. We've lost half our men that day and everything stored there was either looted or destroyed.
Transition slide out of flashback
Tucker: So... what happened afterwards? Did you get a medal?
Weiss: I did. They gave me a Colonial Cross for my bravery. But after what happenedback there... sigh... I didn't manage to get the scores I needed. THANKS TO HER THAT IS!
Church: Is that why you're pissed at her? The scores?
Weiss: You have no idea how important it was to get those scores and our pride! If she hadn't just followed her orders and stop those pirates. Things would've gone smoothly! But nooooooooooooo! She just had to disobey her orders and started evacuating people as many as possible. If she had rally them to fight instead, everything would've gone different! DAMN HER! I'M GLAD SHE DIDN'T GET A MEDAL OF HONOR! AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORST? SHE CALLED ME A DESERTER. DESERTER! I WAS ONLY DOING MY DUTY! ARRRGH! I'm sorry I got carried away again. Once I recovered my wounds, she renounced our partnership right at my face! Well that's good for me. Hmph!
Church: *whistle* This is a lot like my relationship with Tex. So what will you do now that you and her saw one another?
Weiss: Something I've should have done long after we split. DESTROY HER!
Weiss pulls off her most angry face, but not as fierce Ruby's demonic anger but still... *Suspenseful stinger music*
Weiss: Nonono, that method is just too simple. Hmmmmm... or maybe!... nonono, torture's too barbaric.
Tucker: Wow she really is pissed with that Red. Church, if you're still pissed at Tex, would you guys try to forgive each other?
Church: Yeah right! That bitch isn't the type of girl to say 'sorry' to anyone, even me!
Kaikaina: Plus she's a Red.
Tucker: And your brother?
Kaikaina: Wha? I won't kill him.
Weiss: But he's a Red.
Caboose: Psst! Church?
Church hears Caboose's voice as everyone else were busy talking to each other. He turns to see the private peeking behind the door. Wonder why he isn't coming inside, no matter at least he may have some update on the Red's construction. He leaves the room and hears what Caboose has got to say.
Church: What's the update on the Reds?
Caboose: Oh it's fine, but it's just... let's not let Weiss see it.
Church: Why?
Caboose: Well the thing is... do you know those times when teenagers drew something about their teacher just to mock them?
Church: Yeah kids have become total assholes these days. Wait what does this got to do with the sign...
Caboose:...
Church: ...You're not saying what I think you're saying?
Caboose: Weiss won't like it! She'll cry if she sees it!
Church: Why would she cry... look wait here and give me back my sniper rifle. I'm going to take a look at it myself.
Church leaves Caboose and heads straight to the roof. With him gone, it's time for our beloved Caboose to check on Weiss.
Caboose: Hi, Weiss!
Weiss: Hey, Michael. Where's Church?
Caboose: Oh he just needed to take a potty. A potty! Hehehe.
Weiss: At least he should tell before he left... so you're saying you won't kill your brother?
Kaikaina: Duh we're family! If Mom finds out I shot him, I'd be in serious trouble.
Tucker: How is she gonna find out? It's not like she's can hear her son's scream light years away, that's physically impossible.
Kaikaina: Actually she can.
Tucker: Wait she can- Caboose, you okay buddy?
Caboose: What?
Tucker: Dude, you're staring at the ceiling. Is there something wrong?
Caboose: Nothing! Nothing involving the Reds and Weiss won't have to be devastated.
Church from the roof: Pfft-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Caboose: Uh oh.
Kaikaina: Holy shit! What is that?!
Tucker: Giant hyenas?
Weiss: As if! Get out, I need to change immediately!
On the Blue Base's roof
The Blues arrived to the scene to see Church collapsed on the floor. He is laughing uncontrollably like a madman from an asylum, why is he laughing? This put a lot of confusion to the Blues, except Caboose who knows what Church has seen at the Red Base.
Weiss: Church, what are you laughing at?
Church: Oh Schnee, you're here. Hehehe... nothing to worry about, there's totally nothing to see... pfft! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HOHOHOHAHAAAAA!!!
Tucker: Is Church alright?
Caboose: Oh yes, he's alright! He's... uh... infected with laughing disease. Very contagious but not lethal.
Tucker: Laughing disease? I've never heard of it before.
Caboose: That's cause you're dumb!
Weiss, curious to see what's on the enemy base, take out her binos and see this signboard. To her disgust, the first thing she sees through the binos was a familiar red colored rifle and brunette hair look straight at her. Ruby is looking back at her. She lowers her gun to reveal her angry expression before pointing at something out of the bino's vision. Weiss zooms out and finally sees the 'so-called' signboard and something drawn on it. The first sight of it widened her eyes. It was a drawing her except... it doesn't match her beautiful petite physique. The drawing of her is an ugly round doodle with the writing, 'BIG FAT MEANIE' next atop. As if she really looks like that! Then there's another drawing of three stickmen with stink-lines above them, still being drawn by Donut, with the title friends is added above them. This must be represent Ruby, and her two other teammates. Oh my she's gone too far.
Caboose: Oh no. Weiss seen it.
Tucker: Seen what?
Church: Hahaha! Take a look.
Tucker looks through the sniper's scope and starts to instantly laughing upon seeing the signboard.
Tucker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Big fat meanie! HAHAHAHAHA, that's priceless!
Kaikaina: Big fat meanie? Let me see.
Kaikaina gets the same results.
Kaikaina: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Tucker: I know right? HAHAHAHA!
Caboose: Uhm, guys? Weiss is still here.
Church: HAHAHA- Son of a bitch.
Tucker: HA- Oh fuck me.
Kaikaina: HAHA- Whoops.
Weiss was standing still. She may have heard the commotion behind. The first thing that came in the Blues' head is Weiss screaming at them like the banshee she is till their ears popped and bleed. However to their relief she still keeps her composure.
Caboose: Weiss? Are you okay?
Weiss: Get the rocket launcher.
Caboose: Okay.
Church: Hold on, what are you doing?
Weiss: Giving her an example not to mess with me.
At the Red Base
Grif: Will you hurry up? This isn't Ancient Renaissance!
Donut: Patience. Art need to be clean and refine, so you can't rush it.
Grif: I doubt that's art.
Sarge: This ought to give that psychological attack to that Blue. Once she sees this, the guilt will force into her and break her from the inside.
Ruby: Thanks, Sarge. You didn't have to do this for me.
Sarge: Ah don't mention it. And besides, what that Blue did is UNACCEPTABLE! Hehehe, I wonder what kind of reaction that Blue's going to get when she see this.
Simmons: Sir. I think you take a look a this.
Sarge: Looks like she's pissed off already.
Ruby and Sarge approached Simmons who had been looking at the Blue base. Simmons hand the rifle to Sarge and the rough Sargeant looks through the scope to see the results of the deserter. To his disappointment, Weiss hasn't gone barmy and it looks like she just fired a rocket... A ROCKET?!
Sarge: CRAZY COWBOY ON A NUCLEAR BOMB, GET DOWN!!!
Everybody ducked following a loud WHOOSH passing them by. That was close! Had that rocket hit the concrete, it would've cause a lot of dama- never mind. The drawing, which Donut had worked so much on, is now a large ripped hole!
Donut: NOOOOOOO!!! I haven't painted it yet!
Ruby: GGRRRR... WEISSSS!!!
Sarge: Dagnabbit, you destructive vandals! You may have spared the signboard but you should never have taken out the drawing!
Back at the Blue Base
That shot put a smile on Weiss. Sure the rocket didn't exploded as predicted, but at least the rocket got rid of the tarp.
Weiss: That's what you get, Rose. Okay so who's up for breakfast?
Everyone but Church: Me!
Caboose, Tucker and Kaikaina rush down the stairs, leaving Weiss and Church alone on the roof.
Weiss: Did I just provoked the Reds and caused another attack?
Church: Kind of, though I doubt most of them have the mood to attack today. Heh, you know you sure kinda remind me of Tex.
Weiss: Who?
Church: My girlfriend. The way you acted and talked is somewhat like her, except she more of a crazy bitch than you.
Weiss: Girlfriend huh? I don't hear you talking to anyone through the lines.
Church: That's cause she's dead.
Weiss: Oh... I'm... sorry. I didn't mean to.
Church: Nah it's alright. We broke up a long time ago. Sigh, I still miss our arguments. But enough of that, let's get some grub. So you can cook?
Weiss: A bit. My butler back home taught me a thing or two about making steak. If you got the meat of course.
Church: Well hate to break it you, but we only have canned food. Wait you're rich?!
Weiss: Yeah but not the life you'd expect.
A/N: That's the end of this story arc, now that you know why Ruby and Weiss now hate each other. Sorry it couldn't be longer.
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Weiss: "Of course you realize, Ruby; THIS MEANS WAR!"
Ruby: (flips Weiss the bird)
Weiss: "THAT'S IT! F*CK THE ROCKETS! GET ME A SPARTAN LASER!"
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Church: Weiss, we don't have a Spartan Laser
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Weiss: (eyes glow icy blow and the temperature around everyone starts to get colder.) "THEN. F*CKING. GET ONE!"
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Master Chief: “...”
The Arbiter: “Is something wrong, Spartan?
”
Master Chief: “Both are fools. Rose while her intentions were noble and wanted to help, she got herself hurt and made some incorrigible mistakes. While Schnee let her ego get the better of her, just for what medals? Those things are meaningless if you ask me...”
The Arbiter: “Didn’t Cortana said that you had every medal and titles of your spieces?”
Master Chief: “Almost every medal, sans Prisioner of War, either way Both are wrong.
The Arbiter: “I have a hunch that those two females would make amends with one another...”
((Weiss fits a bazooka at Red Base)
The Arbiter: “In time....”
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Frederick (my OC): Yeah never cared for medals. As for my GFs intentions I can see why you're heavily against it. She let her emotions get the better of her. And lets be Frank there bith teens who enlisted not like us who have been kidnapped and raised in the military life style. And Weiss is just a dumb ass in all these scenarios. *rocket explodes*. The path to healing is quite narrow but so hard to travel. If only they stopped being childish
Arbiter: Rose, Schnee, or the reds and blues
Frederick: yes
Arbiter: that doesn't answer my question
Frederick: yes
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The Chief would be at least tolerate them, barely considering that he keeps his cool, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t get frustrated with them, however.
The Arbby, would consider them amusing and asking why this people act like this on the first place, and everyone (Except Chief) getting terrified because of him being an Alien.
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At one point I thought "Wow, Tucker took the story very lightly", but I remembered that this season 5 Tucker, not season 13.
I wonder what would that Tucker's reaction be?
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Not as harsh as Carolina
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I hope eventually Ruby and Weiss become friends again, the way the Reds and Blues are in later seasons.
Go from hated enemies to friendly rivals or something.
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They're destined to be friend to the end after all
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i so hope you continue this... if its going by the same Story line in RvB then i actually would love to see the part when Tex faces Ruby
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Don't think Tex would last long against Ruby since she's got crazy fighting skills and one big ass scythe
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well Ruby is young and Tex has like... what 10 or some years? of training? i mean, i actually think Tex would have fun before ending it unless Ruby has a plan... XD ill admit id be amused if Ruby offered Tex a Better Reward IF she takes the Blue Team or More Specifically a girl in White Armor
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I see you used my mini script I commented in the last part.
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A excellent way to mock you ex-friend
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I know why can’t we all get along
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After seeing this, I’d expected Weiss to look like that in the second panel.
But it’s still good
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She isn't the kind of person to mimic something like that
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oh. my GOD!, I LOVE THAT SPONGEBOB REFERENCE RUBY DID THERE!, THAT'S FREAKING HILARIOUS! XD
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As if Weiss really looks like this!
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also, I'm looking forward to the next one, cause I'm hoping that ruby and weiss's rivalry will be resolved, if they can put an agree on it.
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