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Description
*RVB Opening Theme*

In the Medical Room, Blue Base

Aah, looks like the Blues are preparing for another PSA for the fans. Let's see what they have in stored.

Caboose: But the camera!
Church: Don’t worry about it, just go ahead and start.
Caboose: But it’ll catch the flu. Give it a face mask.
Tucker: Caboose, the camera’s not alive.
Weiss: Do I really need to wear this stupid nurse outfit? I can barely breathe in it.

She’s right, she really does wear like those hot nurses you see in porn. This was Kai’s idea by the way.

Kaikaina: It’s needed. Just something to make the viewers feel comfortable during these times.
Weiss: And I’m not going to know what kind of “comfortable” stuff they’re going to do once they see me in this.
Church: Okay we're gonna start now. Ready. Action!
Weiss: *clears throat* Hi, I’m Private Weiss Schnee from the popular web series Red VS Blue.
Caboose: And I’m a popular web series from Private Michael J. Caboose.
Weiss: As you all know, you’re currently at home isolating yourself from the Coronavirus disease 2019 or in short, Covid-19.
Caboose: And that year sucks! I also like to call it the, Batangolin flu.
Tucker: Hehe! That does make a lot of sense because it's from both animals.

Weiss: Although you're sheltered indoors, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stop cleaning yourself, as the virus can still affect you and your family members even behind closed doors. Covid-19 is a very contagious and can spread to you via by physical contact, no matter when and where. The incubation period of the virus ranges from 1 to 14 days before developing symptoms. The most common symptoms of the virus are fever, tiredness, dry cough and have difficulty breathing. Older people, and people with other medical conditions such as asthma, diabetes, or heart disease, may be more vulnerable to becoming severely ill. For example, Sarge. He is currently in his 50s and infected.

Weiss points Sarge (coughing badly) trapped inside a glass box labelled: WARNING: COVID-19 INFECTEE. DO NOT OPEN.

Sarge: LET ME OUT YOU... KUFF KUFF... DIRTY BLUES!!! Once I get my hands on you, my men are KUFF... next!
Weiss: Your team brought you here because you might spread it to them. You’re lucky we’re equip to contain pathogens. Now would you like a syrup for that cough?
Sarge: Never!... KUFF KUFF! I don’t take no... KUFF... medication! Did Roosevelt asked for an iron lung... KUFF... when he got diagnosed with polio? KUFF KUFF!!!
Weiss: If you begin exhibit these symptoms, please go to the nearest hospital to have your blood tested. If you are tested negative, then that means you're safe. But if you're tested positive, well you're gonna spend most of your quarantine in the ICU. If you're lucky enough to survive
Church: *shivers*... I don't want to know what it's like to having a tube in my throat.
Kaikaina: It's not so bad if you've done a blowjob on somebody before.
Church: You did not have to say that aloud!
Kaikaina: Whatever.
Weiss: Sadly, there’s yet to be a vaccine right now. But you can protect yourself from it by following the instructions.

1) Wash your hands regularly for 20 seconds, with soap and water or alcohol-based hand rub.

2) Cover your nose and mouth with a disposable tissue or flexed elbow when you cough or sneeze.

Caboose: Ooh ooh, my turn!

3) Always keep close contact (1 meter or 3 feet) with your best friends by hugging them so that the bad germs will go away.

4) Go outside under the sun and play tag with your friends.

Church: That’s the opposite of what you’re supposed to say, dumbass!
Weiss: It is also advised not to touch your eyes, nose, or mouth if your hands are not clean. That means you, Tucker.
Tucker: Aww... KUFF... sorry.
Kaikaina: Hey you alright?
Tucker: No I'm fine.
Weiss: If you need go outside, always wear a mask and a pair of gloves. Once you’re done with them, make sure to properly dispose of them by throwing them into a trash bin and after that, wash your hands.
Caboose: And now let, Dr. Caboose show you how to wear a mask. First place the mask over your face and tie the strings together like shoelaces.

He wears the face mask not at the mouth, but over his visor. Blinding him completely.

Caboose: Oh my God, I can’t see! Weiss, help!
Weiss: Oh boy.

Weiss quickly removes the mask off him.

Caboose: Thank you!
Weiss: This is meant to be worn at the mouth, not the eyes. Oh and Caboose, you’re wearing a helmet so you should be completely fine.
Caboose: Okay. Tucker, you can have your mask back.
Weiss: Hold on, Tucker gave you this?
Caboose: Yeah, he said he doesn’t need it.
Weiss: Need it?
Tucker: KUFF KUFF!

Everybody turned to Tucker when he suddenly started coughing loudly.

Church: Uh... Tucker?
Tucker: Sorry, saliva went down the wrong way. KUFF KUFF... Does anyone have some water? Whew, my eyes are watering.
Sarge: SWEET… KUFF… FLU OF SPAIN! HE’S INFECTED!!!
Kaikaina: GAH!!! DON'T TOUCH ME, DON'T TOUCH ME, DON'T TOUCH ME!!!
Tucker: What?

Weiss looks at the mask and to her horror, she’s still holding it.

Weiss: EEEWWW EEEWWW!!! GROSS!!!

She runs to the nearest and starts washing her hands in panic.

Weiss: DON’T TOUCH ME, I’M STERILE!
Tucker: Woah woah! KUFF… wait, I'm not sick! Saliva went to the larynx!
Church: The hell you are. Your presence is going to kill us at any moment! Don’t worry everyone, I’ll handle this.

Church picks up the flamethrower TO STERILIZE TUCKER.

Tucker: WHOA WHOA WHOA, put that thing down, you’re gonna burn the whole place! KUFF!
Church: I will. Right after I burn your infected ass.

FWOOOOOSSHHH!!!

The flame touched him, but Tucker runs away from the heat in one piece with his armor singed in black again. Church pursues him

Tucker: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! I'M NOT INFECTED!!!
Church: Come back here, you only make things worse!
Caboose: Bye, Tucker!
Kaikaina: Is that also another way to disinfect a virus?
Weiss: Not if it's during a desperate situation. Hey Caboose, we should go decontaminate ourselves, just to be sure.
Caboose: Yay, bath time!
Kaikaina: Ooh! If you're gonna show everyone how to clean the entire body, I can record-
Weiss: NO!
Sarge: Hey I also would like a... KUFF... bubble bath.
Kaikaina: Fuck you, you sick old bastard.

A/N: Stay safe at home everyone until this nonsense is over!

Description
*RVB Opening Theme*

In the Medical Room, Blue Base

Aah, looks like the Blues are preparing for another PSA for the fans. Let's see what they have in stored.

Caboose: But the camera!
Church: Don’t worry about it, just go ahead and start.
Caboose: But it’ll catch the flu. Give it a face mask.
Tucker: Caboose, the camera’s not alive.
Weiss: Do I really need to wear this stupid nurse outfit? I can barely breathe in it.

She’s right, she really does wear like those hot nurses you see in porn. This was Kai’s idea by the way.

Kaikaina: It’s needed. Just something to make the viewers feel comfortable during these times.
Weiss: And I’m not going to know what kind of “comfortable” stuff they’re going to do once they see me in this.
Church: Okay we're gonna start now. Ready. Action!
Weiss: *clears throat* Hi, I’m Private Weiss Schnee from the popular web series Red VS Blue.
Caboose: And I’m a popular web series from Private Michael J. Caboose.
Weiss: As you all know, you’re currently at home isolating yourself from the Coronavirus disease 2019 or in short, Covid-19.
Caboose: And that year sucks! I also like to call it the, Batangolin flu.
Tucker: Hehe! That does make a lot of sense because it's from both animals.

Weiss: Although you're sheltered indoors, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stop cleaning yourself, as the virus can still affect you and your family members even behind closed doors. Covid-19 is a very contagious and can spread to you via by physical contact, no matter when and where. The incubation period of the virus ranges from 1 to 14 days before developing symptoms. The most common symptoms of the virus are fever, tiredness, dry cough and have difficulty breathing. Older people, and people with other medical conditions such as asthma, diabetes, or heart disease, may be more vulnerable to becoming severely ill. For example, Sarge. He is currently in his 50s and infected.

Weiss points Sarge (coughing badly) trapped inside a glass box labelled: WARNING: COVID-19 INFECTEE. DO NOT OPEN.

Sarge: LET ME OUT YOU... KUFF KUFF... DIRTY BLUES!!! Once I get my hands on you, my men are KUFF... next!
Weiss: Your team brought you here because you might spread it to them. You’re lucky we’re equip to contain pathogens. Now would you like a syrup for that cough?
Sarge: Never!... KUFF KUFF! I don’t take no... KUFF... medication! Did Roosevelt asked for an iron lung... KUFF... when he got diagnosed with polio? KUFF KUFF!!!
Weiss: If you begin exhibit these symptoms, please go to the nearest hospital to have your blood tested. If you are tested negative, then that means you're safe. But if you're tested positive, well you're gonna spend most of your quarantine in the ICU. If you're lucky enough to survive
Church: *shivers*... I don't want to know what it's like to having a tube in my throat.
Kaikaina: It's not so bad if you've done a blowjob on somebody before.
Church: You did not have to say that aloud!
Kaikaina: Whatever.
Weiss: Sadly, there’s yet to be a vaccine right now. But you can protect yourself from it by following the instructions.

1) Wash your hands regularly for 20 seconds, with soap and water or alcohol-based hand rub.

2) Cover your nose and mouth with a disposable tissue or flexed elbow when you cough or sneeze.

Caboose: Ooh ooh, my turn!

3) Always keep close contact (1 meter or 3 feet) with your best friends by hugging them so that the bad germs will go away.

4) Go outside under the sun and play tag with your friends.

Church: That’s the opposite of what you’re supposed to say, dumbass!
Weiss: It is also advised not to touch your eyes, nose, or mouth if your hands are not clean. That means you, Tucker.
Tucker: Aww... KUFF... sorry.
Kaikaina: Hey you alright?
Tucker: No I'm fine.
Weiss: If you need go outside, always wear a mask and a pair of gloves. Once you’re done with them, make sure to properly dispose of them by throwing them into a trash bin and after that, wash your hands.
Caboose: And now let, Dr. Caboose show you how to wear a mask. First place the mask over your face and tie the strings together like shoelaces.

He wears the face mask not at the mouth, but over his visor. Blinding him completely.

Caboose: Oh my God, I can’t see! Weiss, help!
Weiss: Oh boy.

Weiss quickly removes the mask off him.

Caboose: Thank you!
Weiss: This is meant to be worn at the mouth, not the eyes. Oh and Caboose, you’re wearing a helmet so you should be completely fine.
Caboose: Okay. Tucker, you can have your mask back.
Weiss: Hold on, Tucker gave you this?
Caboose: Yeah, he said he doesn’t need it.
Weiss: Need it?
Tucker: KUFF KUFF!

Everybody turned to Tucker when he suddenly started coughing loudly.

Church: Uh... Tucker?
Tucker: Sorry, saliva went down the wrong way. KUFF KUFF... Does anyone have some water? Whew, my eyes are watering.
Sarge: SWEET… KUFF… FLU OF SPAIN! HE’S INFECTED!!!
Kaikaina: GAH!!! DON'T TOUCH ME, DON'T TOUCH ME, DON'T TOUCH ME!!!
Tucker: What?

Weiss looks at the mask and to her horror, she’s still holding it.

Weiss: EEEWWW EEEWWW!!! GROSS!!!

She runs to the nearest and starts washing her hands in panic.

Weiss: DON’T TOUCH ME, I’M STERILE!
Tucker: Woah woah! KUFF… wait, I'm not sick! Saliva went to the larynx!
Church: The hell you are. Your presence is going to kill us at any moment! Don’t worry everyone, I’ll handle this.

Church picks up the flamethrower TO STERILIZE TUCKER.

Tucker: WHOA WHOA WHOA, put that thing down, you’re gonna burn the whole place! KUFF!
Church: I will. Right after I burn your infected ass.

FWOOOOOSSHHH!!!

The flame touched him, but Tucker runs away from the heat in one piece with his armor singed in black again. Church pursues him

Tucker: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! I'M NOT INFECTED!!!
Church: Come back here, you only make things worse!
Caboose: Bye, Tucker!
Kaikaina: Is that also another way to disinfect a virus?
Weiss: Not if it's during a desperate situation. Hey Caboose, we should go decontaminate ourselves, just to be sure.
Caboose: Yay, bath time!
Kaikaina: Ooh! If you're gonna show everyone how to clean the entire body, I can record-
Weiss: NO!
Sarge: Hey I also would like a... KUFF... bubble bath.
Kaikaina: Fuck you, you sick old bastard.

A/N: Stay safe at home everyone until this nonsense is over!