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nostalgicstar — Cold March
Published: 2003-03-15 23:36:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 255; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 6
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Description The cooling sky wraps around you
arms that warm, as if the breeze was a blanket
And the clouds speak in a tongue,
words you can not make out
You dont understand how she speaks,
and what it means to her
That you can not listen through the
building insecurity, layering bricks around
youre shivering body.

Forgetting that your heart is still beating
you lay on the grey ground
that has been trodden before
Like these memories,
they have been lived before
Rehashing conversation between
conventional acceptance and nostalgia
Watching the days flit
between your eyelashes,
Leaving dust scattered-
electric- like bitter water\'s crystallite.

And as she dances circles around you
You memorize her two step rountine
and follow it directly to your weakness
directly to the misconception
that you enjoy this existence
This fire that is burning,
orange embers in her eyes
Finding the only view of your sight.
Inhaling knives down your throat
All you can breathe is her scent,
carried away by the innocence of others\' words.
They burn your soul, easy as paper
And you long to escape, but the only way is down

Your madness would justify a single jump
But you cant fight the urge to stay
Thinking on the parking deck
A new experience to you
Rendering the possibilty of
This meaning all you have,
when its nothing but shame
So you speak, distant to the foriegn breeze
Hoping someone will hear,
Waiting forever for a reply
Carried by the ripples of the stream you once swam in,
Hidden by the memories

And you know
You know you will not be alive for the answer
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Comments: 7

interzonepolice [2003-03-30 19:23:16 +0000 UTC]

"
Watching the days flit
between your eyelashes,
Leaving dust scattered-
electric- like bitter water's crystallite.
"

truely awesome. you have exceptional poetry.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

aural-autumn [2003-03-17 05:29:51 +0000 UTC]

Watching the days flit
between your eyelashes,
Leaving dust scattered-
electric- like bitter water's crystallite. **I truely love this part. Flit!! That word excites me.

YOu are extremely amazing....the last sentance struck me like a fucking semi...you never stop! Tif

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

pixi33 [2003-03-16 09:00:45 +0000 UTC]

Lordy, that is wonderful. I agree with SilentPixie so many things in here to like but that ending was wonderful Keep this wonderful writing up

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

timrkey [2003-03-16 06:23:03 +0000 UTC]

*sighs*

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laurlooo [2003-03-16 04:46:00 +0000 UTC]

It's amazing as usual... but I'm a bit confused. Jealous? Oh whom? why? I hope I didn't do anything wrong...egeh.

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echo-si [2003-03-16 04:32:10 +0000 UTC]

a beautiful flow of words and images. Very emotional, powerful. I really enjoyed reading this, and I'm sorry I don't have anything more helpful to say!! A really wonderful poem.

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silentpixie [2003-03-15 23:42:54 +0000 UTC]

holy FUCK donna there are so many little similes in this i cant choose my favorite one but ill try:

1. "That you can not listen through the
building insecurity, layering bricks around
youre shivering body."

2. "Forgetting that your heart is still beating
you lay on the grey ground
that has been trodden before
Like these memories,
they have been lived before
Rehashing conversation between
conventional acceptance and nostalgia
Watching the days flit
between your eyelashes,
Leaving dust scattered-
electric- like bitter water's crystallite."

3. "And as she dances circles around you
You memorize her two step rountine
and follow it directly to your weakness
directly to the misconception
that you enjoy this existence
This fire that is burning,
orange embers in her eyes
Finding the only view of your sight.
Inhaling knives down your throat
All you can breathe is her scent"

and the ending. i ADORE this.




👍: 0 ⏩: 0