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nostalgicstar — Mind Rape
Published: 2002-12-12 23:55:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 216; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 15
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Description
Dream, and sit, stare, in time to realize,my puncture wounds begin to cry.
As i imagine scarlet ribbons, twist..
Flow, fluent, rivers down my wrist.
Wrenched, the pain i feel inside..
from withdrawing pains internalized.
In my head, the taste of ripe, rusty blood,
helps to make sense of lost, tragic fun.
Wish to take my promise back,
before my alter ego pounces to attack.
With daggers sharp, quick to impale,
a sorry excuse for fingernails.
Wont let her reel me in with bait,
although a shiny razor in her hand awaits,
Too long have i suffered, too long have i cried
to let her let me assist my own demise.
No longer will i find comfort in self-infliction
No longer seek sanity in my addiction,
for i have unlocked the chains bound to my fate,
and lined up my senses in time to rejuvenate.
Conjured up the proper will inside,
to poision my mind where all 'sadistic' resides
destroyed all temptation for crimson intent,
and arranged for my alter egos descent.
And i quickly traded my suicidal tendenacies for
advice that gave me strength re-assured,
that i would find asylum only when
I could start life over, and live again.
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Comments: 10
Amazing. Amazing how you can put into words what so many of "us" have felt. Keep up the great work, girl!
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wow, this flowed great. It rhymed anbd I liked it which is unusual for end rhymes and me..I loved the strengthfelt after the intense storm of demolishion. GReat!!
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god damn
love this line:
"No longer will i find comfort in self-infliction
No longer seek sanity in my addiction,"
love it babe, hahaha i just called you babe, im making this a fav for sure...
knew it from the first stanza
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Come 'ere you!! Don't get too hung up about the rhymes. _Not_ a problem. Why? Rhythm, Donna my dear, ... rhythm. Sometimes people get too involved in avoiding rhymes, but if that's what you're feeling then let it rip.
The main point is to establish a desired feeling, right? Which you have done, _again_!
and I for one thank you for it. This would make a kickass song BTW. Cheers.
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Awesome, except the formatting throws me off a bit. Maybe pay attention to capitalization and such?
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Great just great
Your style and talent are breathtaking.
Wont let her reel me in with bait,
although a shiny razor in her hand awaits,
Too long have i suffered, too long have i cried
to let her let me assist my own demise.
my favourite part!!!
just GREAT
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It realy good poem. About the rhymes though, it does seem to me strange that the first stanza you end with rhyme, then in the middle begin with rhyme, and revert back to ending rhymes at the end.
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that's really beautiful; but i see what you mean about the rhyme. luckily, it's mild so it doesn't stick out to much, but the words are very powerful. i like the picture a lot too. it's like i'm drunk and about to pass out, but right before i see someone standing over me
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