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Description
With his head held high, eyes awake, he looked over the city of Masyaf. Three years…

It had been three years since he had left his "home", his "family", the brotherhood and…

Malik.

He hated himself for leaving the one-armed assassin behind, for having gone with Maria and his son. He hated himself because he had known that he loved not Maria – but Malik. Whole-heartedly, in a way so different from the little love he had felt for Maria and which was long since gone, that he couldn't find any words to describe it.

It just felt… "right" to be at his side every day, at any time. Malik had always been the first thing he saw in the morning, leaning over the desk of their former master, and also the last thing he saw before falling asleep in the camber the shared for the night. They had been brothers before, then rivals, friends again after they had apologized and masters, side by side… And Altair had always wanted a different bond.

And he had told him, just before he had left.

"I love you…" he had whispered, only loud enough for it to be heard even despite the storm that had accompanied his departure. He had seen Malik's shocked expression, the last thing he had seen before urging his horse to run. He had felt his heart clenching because he had left him like this, after confessing his feelings.

He had wanted to hold him close, to tell him that he had always loved him. He hadn't wanted Malik to yell after him to "Come back, for heaven's sake!", even running after him a few feet. He had wanted to stay with him.

But still…

It had been his duty to lead the young novices to the east, to lead them into the fight against Genghis Khan, to assist them. He would keep them from dying at all costs.

And he did. All the boys were assassins now, watching over the Holy Land, joining their everlasting fight against the Templars. But the only fight he cared for right now was the fight against his own feelings. He felt like crying and laughing at the same time.

"I'm back…" he whispered as he entered the city. It was so full of live now…

Because of Malik. Because he had stayed and looked after their brothers and their family.

Family…

Malik surely had found himself a woman by now. He might even have one or two children which were going to be assassins as they were growing up. He might have forgotten Altair already, or at least his confession, going on as if nothing ever happened.

He wanted to shout at that thought. He didn't want to imagine how it felt to be… left behind. By the only person he ever loved that way…

"Master Altair! You are back!"

He strode past the assassins which were guarding the fortress, only giving them a nod as a greeting.

He didn't wish to see them – he wanted Malik in front of him, looking at him, telling him that he had waited for him…

That he loved him too.

But Altair was no dreamer, he had never been.

Despite that, he was still hurt when he went up the stairs, almost tripping, his heart beating in his chest as if he had been running for hours, his lungs burning – and no one waited for him. The desk was almost completely empty. At least it felt that way without Malik standing behind it, smiling at him only slightly. He had missed him – and yet he didn't see him as he came back.

Altair sighed. He shouldn't feel that disappointed. He should have known. No one would have waited for someone for that long. Not for someone whom he didn't love.

He slowly stepped forward, eying the desk. Or, most likely, the paper that lay upon it.

He only needed a few seconds to recognize the writing.

Malik had written whatever it was. Another few seconds passed – and Altair grew aware of what he had in front of him. A journal. Malik's journal. And according to the date, the first one was of the day after he had left…

He started reading at once.

It's still a few hours until the sun rises. I couldn't sleep tonight, so I sat around for the last few hours, trying to draw the maps needed for the new bureaus.

I can't concentrate and I start to hate myself for it.

Why is it affecting me the way it is? Altair left because there was no other way… So why do I hate him for leaving me behind?

Is it because of the words he shouted before riding off? Is it really because he confused me?

He… can't really love me, can he?

He has Maria, his wife, and his son after all…

So how come he can say that he loves me, his best friend?

I'm so confused…

And I'm… missing him already.

After not even 24 hours…

Altair sighed. He knew that what he had done hadn't been the right thing. He knew that it would affect Malik to say something like that and simply leave afterwards…

Now he felt even worse.

He kept on reading.

I had tried to keep myself from counting the days. I was unable to.

It's been one month since I had last seen him. I'm sure they haven't reached Mongolia yet. Altair will be away for at least… one year. It's killing me already. I can't stop thinking about it. I want to know why he said something like that… For about a year we had been fighting all the time.

Or, at least, I had been insulting him and he only bowed his head, taking everything in. Because he had thought he had deserved it. And because he clearly was tired of fighting back.

Why had it taken me so long to just tell him that I had forgiven him? I should have done it so much sooner…

I'm not sure why I ask myself this question but…

Did I… ever hate him?

Altair shook his head, smiling slightly.

He had noticed it somewhat, that Malik's insults hadn't been that powerful after some time. Sometimes he would have stayed silent, looking at Altair, something lying in his eyes that Altair couldn't describe.

It was back then that he had noticed his feelings for the one-armed assassin.

He walked around the desk, looking out of the window. But not for long. He turned around, taking another sheet in his hand, noticing how the ink was smudged.

He should go on reading if he started.

I don't know why, but something almost pulled me out of the fortress. It's storming outside, the same way as one year ago, when he had left. One year…

And I finally decided: I'd keep waiting.

I can't live on right now. I can't even think of any family besides him. I know, I should find myself a woman, children, just like he did…

But I'm not able to stop thinking about him. It's impossible. I miss him so much…

A message arrived just now.

They found the leader of the Huns. According to the date written on the message that this one eagle brought, they will strike tonight.

Tonight, the eagle's predatory side will be replaced by his caring side. Altair will only fight, if the novices are in danger.

And I'm simply hoping that there will be no need for Altair to help them.

I think I wouldn't stand getting a message about his death together with the feather coated in Genghis Khan's blood. Not now, not at any other given time.

I wouldn't stand losing the last thing that I care for. The last one…

The last one I truly love… Even if I can't differ between the love I feel for my brother or much stronger feelings…

Altair's head shot up as he heard steps behind him. He was still facing the window as someone approached him from behind. But before he could turn around and face the intruder, an arm grabbed him around the waist, holding him still. Altair could at once make out who it was.

"Malik…" he whispered, struggling slightly to turn around and face the other. But the one-armed assassin made no move to let go of him.

"Read… read the next page…"

Wordlessly, he turned the sheet around, looking at the writing on the back.

It seemed as if he had trembled when writing it.

The message arrived.

Altair is alive, unhurt even. They had succeeded in assassinating Genghis Khan. All of the novices were assassins now, returning to Masyaf, Jerusalem and Acre to join us in our fight.

And Altair is going to return to Masyaf. Returning to me…

I've waited. Three years – and I could wait even longer if I had to. But I don't.

A few days and he will be here again. They are on their way already. Everyone but Maria. She's leaving the assassins. She can't stay with us, Altair wrote. She's a Templar, through and through.

And I hate her for leaving someone as great as Altair. But at the same time I wanted to love her for it.

Because now, Altair is mine alone, not hers anymore.

I'm sure by now…

My feelings are not those towards a brother. Not those of a friend, a rival or whatever we were on our way to our current position as masters of the creed. I won't write down what I'm feeling.

Because I'm sure, you will be here, sooner or later, reading all of this because I simply can't tell you what I've been through while you were away. I would just stand there, muttering those three words as a greeting which you used at your departure. I would be unable to form a coherent thought, much less put together a string of words to form a sentence.

And you would most likely laugh at me and tell me once again "I love you" while I still can't tell you all of my feelings.

Would you have noticed just by looking at me? That I waited for you all this time?

That I can't leave you behind, because…

"I love you…"

Something wet hit Malik's hand, causing him to tense up, stay silent. He could hear silent sobs coming from Altair, his body shaking with every one of them.

Chuckling, he turned Altair around by gripping his shoulder, looking at the assassin in front of him. Tears were filling Altair's eyes, some of them already dripping down. He was biting his lips, keeping himself from sobbing loudly. Malik only shook his head as the other assassin leant down, kissing his lips. He could taste tears on them.

"Thank you…" Altair whispered, snaking his hands around Malik and holding him close, "Thank you for waiting for me, all this time…"

Description
With his head held high, eyes awake, he looked over the city of Masyaf. Three years…

It had been three years since he had left his "home", his "family", the brotherhood and…

Malik.

He hated himself for leaving the one-armed assassin behind, for having gone with Maria and his son. He hated himself because he had known that he loved not Maria – but Malik. Whole-heartedly, in a way so different from the little love he had felt for Maria and which was long since gone, that he couldn't find any words to describe it.

It just felt… "right" to be at his side every day, at any time. Malik had always been the first thing he saw in the morning, leaning over the desk of their former master, and also the last thing he saw before falling asleep in the camber the shared for the night. They had been brothers before, then rivals, friends again after they had apologized and masters, side by side… And Altair had always wanted a different bond.

And he had told him, just before he had left.

"I love you…" he had whispered, only loud enough for it to be heard even despite the storm that had accompanied his departure. He had seen Malik's shocked expression, the last thing he had seen before urging his horse to run. He had felt his heart clenching because he had left him like this, after confessing his feelings.

He had wanted to hold him close, to tell him that he had always loved him. He hadn't wanted Malik to yell after him to "Come back, for heaven's sake!", even running after him a few feet. He had wanted to stay with him.

But still…

It had been his duty to lead the young novices to the east, to lead them into the fight against Genghis Khan, to assist them. He would keep them from dying at all costs.

And he did. All the boys were assassins now, watching over the Holy Land, joining their everlasting fight against the Templars. But the only fight he cared for right now was the fight against his own feelings. He felt like crying and laughing at the same time.

"I'm back…" he whispered as he entered the city. It was so full of live now…

Because of Malik. Because he had stayed and looked after their brothers and their family.

Family…

Malik surely had found himself a woman by now. He might even have one or two children which were going to be assassins as they were growing up. He might have forgotten Altair already, or at least his confession, going on as if nothing ever happened.

He wanted to shout at that thought. He didn't want to imagine how it felt to be… left behind. By the only person he ever loved that way…

"Master Altair! You are back!"

He strode past the assassins which were guarding the fortress, only giving them a nod as a greeting.

He didn't wish to see them – he wanted Malik in front of him, looking at him, telling him that he had waited for him…

That he loved him too.

But Altair was no dreamer, he had never been.

Despite that, he was still hurt when he went up the stairs, almost tripping, his heart beating in his chest as if he had been running for hours, his lungs burning – and no one waited for him. The desk was almost completely empty. At least it felt that way without Malik standing behind it, smiling at him only slightly. He had missed him – and yet he didn't see him as he came back.

Altair sighed. He shouldn't feel that disappointed. He should have known. No one would have waited for someone for that long. Not for someone whom he didn't love.

He slowly stepped forward, eying the desk. Or, most likely, the paper that lay upon it.

He only needed a few seconds to recognize the writing.

Malik had written whatever it was. Another few seconds passed – and Altair grew aware of what he had in front of him. A journal. Malik's journal. And according to the date, the first one was of the day after he had left…

He started reading at once.

It's still a few hours until the sun rises. I couldn't sleep tonight, so I sat around for the last few hours, trying to draw the maps needed for the new bureaus.

I can't concentrate and I start to hate myself for it.

Why is it affecting me the way it is? Altair left because there was no other way… So why do I hate him for leaving me behind?

Is it because of the words he shouted before riding off? Is it really because he confused me?

He… can't really love me, can he?

He has Maria, his wife, and his son after all…

So how come he can say that he loves me, his best friend?

I'm so confused…

And I'm… missing him already.

After not even 24 hours…

Altair sighed. He knew that what he had done hadn't been the right thing. He knew that it would affect Malik to say something like that and simply leave afterwards…

Now he felt even worse.

He kept on reading.

I had tried to keep myself from counting the days. I was unable to.

It's been one month since I had last seen him. I'm sure they haven't reached Mongolia yet. Altair will be away for at least… one year. It's killing me already. I can't stop thinking about it. I want to know why he said something like that… For about a year we had been fighting all the time.

Or, at least, I had been insulting him and he only bowed his head, taking everything in. Because he had thought he had deserved it. And because he clearly was tired of fighting back.

Why had it taken me so long to just tell him that I had forgiven him? I should have done it so much sooner…

I'm not sure why I ask myself this question but…

Did I… ever hate him?

Altair shook his head, smiling slightly.

He had noticed it somewhat, that Malik's insults hadn't been that powerful after some time. Sometimes he would have stayed silent, looking at Altair, something lying in his eyes that Altair couldn't describe.

It was back then that he had noticed his feelings for the one-armed assassin.

He walked around the desk, looking out of the window. But not for long. He turned around, taking another sheet in his hand, noticing how the ink was smudged.

He should go on reading if he started.

I don't know why, but something almost pulled me out of the fortress. It's storming outside, the same way as one year ago, when he had left. One year…

And I finally decided: I'd keep waiting.

I can't live on right now. I can't even think of any family besides him. I know, I should find myself a woman, children, just like he did…

But I'm not able to stop thinking about him. It's impossible. I miss him so much…

A message arrived just now.

They found the leader of the Huns. According to the date written on the message that this one eagle brought, they will strike tonight.

Tonight, the eagle's predatory side will be replaced by his caring side. Altair will only fight, if the novices are in danger.

And I'm simply hoping that there will be no need for Altair to help them.

I think I wouldn't stand getting a message about his death together with the feather coated in Genghis Khan's blood. Not now, not at any other given time.

I wouldn't stand losing the last thing that I care for. The last one…

The last one I truly love… Even if I can't differ between the love I feel for my brother or much stronger feelings…

Altair's head shot up as he heard steps behind him. He was still facing the window as someone approached him from behind. But before he could turn around and face the intruder, an arm grabbed him around the waist, holding him still. Altair could at once make out who it was.

"Malik…" he whispered, struggling slightly to turn around and face the other. But the one-armed assassin made no move to let go of him.

"Read… read the next page…"

Wordlessly, he turned the sheet around, looking at the writing on the back.

It seemed as if he had trembled when writing it.

The message arrived.

Altair is alive, unhurt even. They had succeeded in assassinating Genghis Khan. All of the novices were assassins now, returning to Masyaf, Jerusalem and Acre to join us in our fight.

And Altair is going to return to Masyaf. Returning to me…

I've waited. Three years – and I could wait even longer if I had to. But I don't.

A few days and he will be here again. They are on their way already. Everyone but Maria. She's leaving the assassins. She can't stay with us, Altair wrote. She's a Templar, through and through.

And I hate her for leaving someone as great as Altair. But at the same time I wanted to love her for it.

Because now, Altair is mine alone, not hers anymore.

I'm sure by now…

My feelings are not those towards a brother. Not those of a friend, a rival or whatever we were on our way to our current position as masters of the creed. I won't write down what I'm feeling.

Because I'm sure, you will be here, sooner or later, reading all of this because I simply can't tell you what I've been through while you were away. I would just stand there, muttering those three words as a greeting which you used at your departure. I would be unable to form a coherent thought, much less put together a string of words to form a sentence.

And you would most likely laugh at me and tell me once again "I love you" while I still can't tell you all of my feelings.

Would you have noticed just by looking at me? That I waited for you all this time?

That I can't leave you behind, because…

"I love you…"

Something wet hit Malik's hand, causing him to tense up, stay silent. He could hear silent sobs coming from Altair, his body shaking with every one of them.

Chuckling, he turned Altair around by gripping his shoulder, looking at the assassin in front of him. Tears were filling Altair's eyes, some of them already dripping down. He was biting his lips, keeping himself from sobbing loudly. Malik only shook his head as the other assassin leant down, kissing his lips. He could taste tears on them.

"Thank you…" Altair whispered, snaking his hands around Malik and holding him close, "Thank you for waiting for me, all this time…"