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Description
attempting movement never works out, you're gonna
be the bitch in this situation no matter if you keep your
curses in your mouth or the air. tip: focus on the
details. watch the third to last button on his sweater
exit your
field of vision, reenter, again, once more.
grace the floor with your fingertips, memorize every inch of it to replay later.
disassociate from the
heft of his knees. this detail
is unnecessary. later, someone will crack a
joke and you'll crack his jaw, not thinking, not
knowing. you will
leave your body often,
mourn it daily.
notice these occurrences. record them. you will
often be asked for
proof. you will pressed, again and again, through their
questioning. "why did you not
receive him well?" "you must have wanted it to
stop, why did you not cry out?" you wonder how
they know which questions creep
under your bed,
visiting only in the dead of night.
why did you not do this or this, they will cry,
why, why, why.
you will parcel these days into
ziplock bags and bury them, one by one.