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orangecloudsraining — vacillation
Published: 2012-02-04 03:22:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 368; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 6
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Description Moonbeams hesitantly bring her into focus. Five fingers press against the window, each with an equal amount of tension.

"They say we have our own personal tides."

His hand, half asleep, creeps over her calf, outlining bruises.

"Not physical ones, but she has a pull. Maybe that's a good excuse."

One is outlined with more force and her nail beds whiten, disappear into the thick glass.

"Come back to bed."

"Sometimes I worry that one morning I will wake up and at some point in the night she will have vanished. It would be on the news."

He sighs almost imperceptibly, and the sound pulls her back. He clears his throat and she hesitates, draws the curtains, slips under the sheets with a spot of moonlight sticking to her neck. When he starts touching her she does not respond.
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orangecloudsraining - aftermath
Comments: 17

psithurisms [2012-02-27 20:05:01 +0000 UTC]

i read this the way i read novels
out loud
with the actions
everything
this is beauuuuttiful
i would love to see more like this <333

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orangecloudsraining In reply to psithurisms [2012-02-28 16:18:57 +0000 UTC]

thank you so much dear! <3
do you mean more prose or more with these characters?
i'd like to do something else with the characters...

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psithurisms In reply to orangecloudsraining [2012-02-28 17:26:52 +0000 UTC]

both both both! <33

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orangecloudsraining In reply to psithurisms [2012-02-28 17:35:43 +0000 UTC]

i'll see what i can do.

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CityLightning [2012-02-22 01:06:05 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful and it reminded me of Evelyn Waugh even though he doesn't go for emotions in the same way and it makes me sad, this.

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orangecloudsraining In reply to CityLightning [2012-02-22 03:07:05 +0000 UTC]

ohh, i've never heard of him. hmm.

<3

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KaitForest [2012-02-17 00:18:20 +0000 UTC]

ohmygodohmygod
i feel like i just had an epiphany. this is that good

she is the one talking at the beginning, right? i love how her voice is carried through the whole piece. mysterious curious. cautious. and his voice at the end. lover?

possible talking about a child?

(i'd love to know; i am not exactly the best at decoding beautiful prose/poetry)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to KaitForest [2012-02-17 01:03:25 +0000 UTC]

an epiphany about what, may i ask?

yes, the only thing he says is come back to bed.

lover, but i wanted everything to hint at the complexity of the relationship. i wove a whole backstory...

a child in what way?

(it's alright darling, this one is pretty subtle)
also thank you, thank you so much. i wasn't sure about this, thank you for liking it.

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KaitForest In reply to orangecloudsraining [2012-02-17 01:17:19 +0000 UTC]

i think i figured it out
is she talking about herself?
as if the guy were to be saying it, but he doesn't
(hence why he is outlining her bruises, physical abusive relationship?)

i am so sorry i am a weirdo when it comes to literature like this, haha

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orangecloudsraining In reply to KaitForest [2012-02-17 01:24:45 +0000 UTC]

she's talking about the moon, but also in a roundabout way herself. it is an abusive relationship, although not physically, and to the point where neither person realizes it is. if that made sense.

not at all. <3

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KaitForest In reply to orangecloudsraining [2012-02-17 01:37:58 +0000 UTC]

ah! i feel silly now.

but i love that idea so much more than mine
(the moon, who would have known, so lovely)

it makes perfect sense!

such a beautiful piece

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orangecloudsraining In reply to KaitForest [2012-02-17 02:06:13 +0000 UTC]

don't! i appreciate your comments so much.

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KaitForest In reply to orangecloudsraining [2012-02-17 01:15:10 +0000 UTC]

"Sometimes I worry that one morning I will wake up and at some point in the night she will have vanished. It would be on the news."

epiphany because i have said it before and i am not one to look at myself through another eyes but mine (self-blindness i call it).

and i had thought she was talking about a child, because of that statement. i have paranoia to the extreme, so i always make sure my loved ones are safely stowed away. but i still fear of them disappearing on me.

but now i think it might be a parallel to something else. "she" and "vanishes" "tide". i wonder
is it a person or just a metaphor? (i think i might be looking way too much into this; analyzing and annotating shakespear daily for a year does that to you)

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breathingglassstars [2012-02-08 00:09:21 +0000 UTC]

oh wow, have you ever posted prose on here before? because i think even your prose is poetic in its own beautiful way, and it conjures and coaxes the most detailed mental images... i really love how personal it seems, though at the same time it seems almost fictional... like it could be a mixture of both, and that, to me, is important. ♥

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orangecloudsraining In reply to breathingglassstars [2012-02-08 02:09:16 +0000 UTC]

i don't think i have. i don't write prose often, and then i'm not happy with it.

thank you dear, really. that you think so means a lot. <3

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breathingglassstars In reply to orangecloudsraining [2012-02-15 22:50:24 +0000 UTC]

ah, i always feel the very same way about my own prose. i completely understand.

you're really quite welcome, love, and that makes me so happy ♥

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allyestarrystarfish [2012-02-04 03:48:10 +0000 UTC]

gdj
fkj
/nothing constructive to say
this is beautiful
and you're really good at painting mental pictures.
for the record.
if you're here why are you not on AIM :c

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