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paintausea β Take Me
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#am #aniki #broke #me #sexual #should #you #no #think #paintausea #frustration #lust #one #prostitution #rejection #harrasement
Published: 2015-11-09 22:46:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 36479; Favourites: 352; Downloads: 61
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Description
I must've not been good enough.His disgusted eyes.
His pulsing hands throwing me back.
"Daddy must've not taught me well enough..."
The lust to please,
To hide this wound inside my chest.
This lust to please myself,
To hide the hatred for those mirrored images.
The lust to overcome my fear,
To be something of value.
Spill my blood on this bed
And take all of me
Else, all that I am, shall disappear
--Reversing tethering wounds into newly burnt flesh.
Shove these hands deep into me
Until I feel no longer what is self.
Run, my love, run...
For the yearning for your blood inside me is great.
Β - A reject sex doll, Laika
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Comments: 79
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Interesting work, tell me about it? What inspires you?
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My feelings! My past. Emotions. Stories I've heard. Empathy.Β
But mostly just the pain I carry with me...
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I want to be polite and respectful, but in time I want to know, hear your story and touch your feelings. I am sure your very sensitive, and I will respect you.Β
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You are already... Thank you! I appreciate that a lot...
I need a bit time to open up to people.. I hope that is alright.
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I understand entirely, take your time
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Thank you again.. (:
I just need to find a bit more peace within myself before I can fully blossom and feel less insecure about myself...
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I understand, I apologize if you feel pressured by me... I just wish to help.
In your time, and in the path of healing. One does not force a rose to bloom, one must wait on nature.
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Hahaha.. thank you.. I am not really much of a rose though..
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You are to me. A very rare flower, blooming in difficult times.
Delicate and precious, yet strong.
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Hehe.. A fierce flower that echoes ghostly pain...
Thank you... I honestly don't feel strong... but thank you...Β
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Surviving pain.. even if its dragging you down.. sometimes is all the strength that is requited.
You are welcome, friend.
You attract me, and I wish to know of you, not harm you.
hear you and see.... what I am seeing.
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What is it.. that you--see?
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Desire, abuse, betrayal, gratification, wounding pain couched in lust and love.
The satisfaction of need, then, cutting, screaming... the realization that the pain ment nothing... to them
I see you... in pain, trying to please and being pleased, then being made to bleed for it.... Hart ache, loss, Lies.
Love turned to sadism for the whim of another. Β
This image screams... love ... and pain... lust and desire... and Betrayal.
Cutting... so much cutting.... and blood...Sacrifice and Satisfaction.
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Β That was beautiful...
Thank you for describing what you saw..Β
"The satisfaction of need, then, cutting, screaming... the realization that the pain ment nothing... to them" My favorite line...
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But is it ...truth?
Do I feel... See... what happened to you?
I don't ask for your faith in me, I only ask for reporting, proofe that what I feel is true and I am not mad.
Or driven mad by your beautiful horror... visualization of your inner sorrow and pain.
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It's a representation of my inner turmoil whilst carrying what sexual disturbances that occured to me during childhood and teen stagge.
Trying to satisfy the need of lust as an adult, but conflicting it with the fear and pain-- which turns to a choking and cutting sensation of thoughts, of mind, of anything I thought I was.
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I grieve with you, and I thought as much.
May we talk about it? Father or a friend? Close to family?
Or is that the stopping point.Β
Thank you. 
Mhh.. I don't want to talk about it here in the open..Β
I'll note you..
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To love... to lust... to decay in your own lust to be destroyed through love... better to be drowned in your own blood by a lover's hand to preserve the lust for carnal satisfaction in death, than to live in limbo of a dried up thirst that couldn't be sated before it died inside your icy heart...
You cut off all of your fingers,
Trade them in for dollar bills,
Cake up on some make-up to
Cover all those lines,
Wake up and stop shaking
'Cos you're just wasting time.
Don't you want some of this?
Don't you need some of this?
You take but cannot be given,
You ride but cannot be ridden,
Pinch this tiny heart of mine,
Wrap it up in soiled twine,
You never read what you've written.
I'll be your lover.
I'll be forever.
I'll be tomorrow,
I am anything when I'm high!
I'll be your lover.
I'll be forever.
I'll be tomorrow,
I am anything when I'm high!
Don't you want some of this?
Don't you need some of this?
Don't you want some of this?
Don't you need some of this?
You shove your hair down my throat,
I feel your fingers in me,
Tear this bitter fruit to mess,
Wrap it in your soiled dress,
Now you must spit out the seeds.
I'll be your lover.
I'll be forever.
I'll be tomorrow,
I am anything when I'm high!
I'll be your lover.
I'll be forever.
I'll be tomorrow,
I am anything when I'm high!
Anything when I'm high...
Anything when I'm high...
I'll be your lover.
I'll be forever.
I'll be tomorrow,
I am anything when I'm high!
I'll be your lover.
I'll be forever.
I'll be tomorrow,
I am anything when I'm high!
Anything when I'm high!
ALL DRIED UP AND TIED UP FOREVER...
ALL FUCKED UP AND DEAD TO THE WORLD...
...tnemomelbarenluvtsomymsisihT
[link]
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Mhm.. mhm.. /silent nod
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you paint such sad things.Β
i'm able to pull out very relatable emotions displayed in your art,Β
and that's comforting. but painful. but comforting again.Β
but painful again.
these drawings must come from somewhere and i'm curious about your story.
i have a story as well and i feel relatable to you, like a small invisible connection i've found thorough your art.
seeing your paintings makes me not feel alone.
life is an experience. and sometimes you have to celebrate the sadness.
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That makes me so happy to hear..!
I am currently consumed with only these emotions...
so I try to create and control them in a form that helps me deal with them..Β
The fact that people give them any attention at all, makes me very happy especially when it makes them feel less alone..!
These emotions makes it a very confrontational experience especially if you go through such similar feelings...
"life is an experience. and sometimes you have to celebrate the sadness." --- this is so, so very beautiful! I agree!
Thank you very much..!!
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This comment terrifies me..Β
It truly feels like this..
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No no... terrified and spectacularly excited about your words! They fit so well... bit because i have left my feelings in this piece so i was caught off guard when i read your comment.but thank you so much! β‘
That compliment is so high, i feel like i do not deserve it, but i am truly honored... thank you thank you!
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Thank you so much...
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I must admit that it's been some time since I've managed to sit down and comment and give you the well deserved credit for one of your pieces, and for that I must apologize for once again. Despite me not having the time, or the words to reply to some of your pieces I hope you know I never once lost track of any of your art work that fills my inbox almost every time I find the time to come on and skim through all the talent I see on here, and this is no exception. Your coloring is amazing. The way those hands are gripping at her bosom are perfectly drawn, which I desperately hope you don't find offensive for I know this must have been a difficult drawing to express. It's hard for me to pick out one special thing I favor in this drawing expect for the courage it must of taken to make it. I hope this relieved some of your stress from subject that I'm helplessly trying to relate to. I hope I haven't said any of the wrong things, and have motivated you at least a fraction to keep going. Your work is always so special to me and I'm afraid I haven't been expressing that enough lately. I wish I could do more but fill your time with my words but for now I must say that is the only thing I can do. Please keep drawing and giving me things that I feel obliged to comment to. For all of your works are just so special and words can only say so much. Ahhh, I feel as though I'm rambling now and have taken a good bit of your time. I hope your doing well my friend and I'll hopefully see more of you soon. Please take care. with all of my love.
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This was so comforting to read... Thank you so much..Β
Even if the themes I draw are always gruesomely depressingly, I always compliments about my skill in drawing... which I honestly feel very insecure about if not even detest at times because I set such high standards for myself...Β
I appreciated this comment very, very much.. I always start becoming anxious if people don't say anything because comments really keep me going so much more than favorites.. So seeing this elaborate wall of endearing text on this piece made me feel like "Hey.. maybe I did a good job.." Thank you again and again for keeping up with my art for all this time.. viewing them and sitting down and taking your time to do this and writing this out for me...Β
_Thank you_
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This is such a powerful and beautiful piece..Β When I first saw it I couldn't put my thoughts into words I felt so angry at whoever inflicted the trauma behind it.. it also makes me feel so heartbroken...
Perhaps I'm interpreting it differently, but I feel her yearning to be loved completely and destroyed completely. She dolls herself up with make up, yet it runs down her face in tears as if she's not good enough to have her lust satisfied... even with scissors stabbed in her neck, her face is still red and hot like she really enjoys dying, like she's moaning for someone to kill her out of love...
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That hammer on that nail was perfect...
Thank you so much for recognizing it's meaning...
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Ah.. it's a relief I recognized its meaning.. *pulls out the claws from my face*
But my tears are flowing for you that I'm right...
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-bandages wounds and softly brushes your tears away- ... please don't hurt yourself for me...! I want you to be happy too...
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But these tears give me the courage to try even when my arms are too weary
They give me the strength to reach for happiness
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Alright sweety...
I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that you aren't allowed to cry.. It just pains me when you do..
but if that is the case (which I completely understand) then continue to let these tears wash the windows of your soul...
Let the sea of tears carry you towards happiness...
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Aaa.. that's.. not what I meant.....
I mean these tears give me resolve to fight a bit harder, that my life might make a big difference to you...
Aha.. I'm really afraid now I'm just being silly...
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Pst.
Hey Paixi. Pst.
You're life already has.
Your art has.
Your songs have.
Your messages to me have.
(:
loveyou!!
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Pst.
Guess what Grace?
You bring more colour to my life everyday.
Loveyou!!
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This was the most adorable message I have felt and received in a while..
Thank you...
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Thank you so much....
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You're welcome.
Hope you're doin all right.
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It's hard.. but I'm hanging in there...
Are you doing all right?
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