HOME | DD
ParalyticProcess — Unintended
#freeverse #grace #infertility #loss #poetry #searching #unintended #paralyticprocess
Published: 2016-01-21 15:53:26 +0000 UTC; Views: 828; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
I found you, perfecttucked within imperfect flesh
a ghost
a whisper
you.
You asked nothing of me,
but I desired the world
from you.
Even with good intentions
the ones we love tend to hurt us the
most.
The house I built for you
crumbling
bleeding
and
just
like
that
I lost you.
-D.E.M
Related content
Comments: 12
Your placement of the words gives the poem much more impact and helps emphasize the pain and confusion of your experience - just my humble opinion.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thank you so much!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You're so welcome, dear!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I like it, but am left wondering what triggered the crumble. yes, love, but a word? an action?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
That's the tragedy of the piece. There is nothing the speaker did to cause the crumble. It just happened.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I understand now, but I didn't get that from the poem. there was just transition. of course, it might just be me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thank you so much for your support, especially for the fave. :]
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You bet! Very lovely work ^.^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0