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paranoidfreak — Never In Peace
Published: 2005-05-12 23:40:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 86; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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Description
Scars so deepmemories asleep
time now for them to surface
these feelings are all too familiar
still too much torture
no longer can I bare
no more energy
not even to weep
constantly dreaming
wishing for eternal sleep
no love to share
no love to give
its no longer fair
the remainder of my feelings
are not good enough for you
force me to be your angel
but I can only be your devil
no more satisfaction
this life is beginning to end
just as lonely as I knew it would
no one to comfort this helpless soul
not like they should.
for some time now
this heart has been growing cold
just pushing everyone away
because they never understood
not their problem
why should they stay
Hell make way
your princess is coming
once again I have lost
giving up
my life it cost
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Comments: 1
Hey there in an emotional sense this piece, like the others it is very touching. Its no wonder with the swaying nature of your work that i look forward to reading your new stuff.
umm just a couple of things i noticed tho please dont be discouraged or take this as evil criticism but..just "as lonely as I knew it would" it doesnt quite make sense in relation to the previous line i was wonderin if you could explain it? "my life it cost" um just wondering should it be 'my life it costs'? im not good with structure but your rhymming sequence is a bit confusing...
but ahh hell the structure in my opinion shouldnt hold much weight as as long as the honest feeling is there shouldnt poetry just be an expression of such feelings without rules?
Once a again love it and i hope to see more of your work.
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