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Description
It hurts. It always hurts when someone goes.

That pain stays with you, it never really leaves. You just learn to deal with it. To live with it. To cope with it.
but it never truly ceases to exist.

That don't mean you stop living though.

I dont really know. As hopeful as I want to be, I just can't. I can't even say I feel pain. I just feel numb really.

So I guess I'll share a bit.

My Sensei I've known since I was 9 years old had passed away last week. He was a brilliant man and a brilliant teacher. I was close to him, shared a lot with him. He was like another father to me. he allowed me to talk about my pain and allowed me to express it in a more healthy way via Karate, and talking to him about it. I'm gonna miss him a lot. He provided a safe space in this hell of a place I live in, now that he's gone... I don't really know anymore.

At the same time like I've said I've felt this pain before. So it will take me a while, but because I tend to shut people out when I'm in mourning, I ask that you don't note me or talk to me for a while. I don't want to hurt anyone and would rather not have you put yourself in that position. Unless I talk to you, please don't reach out to me. Most of the time I'd rather just focus on something to laugh about, so....yeah. *shrugs*

I will be fine though. I always am.

Description
It hurts. It always hurts when someone goes.

That pain stays with you, it never really leaves. You just learn to deal with it. To live with it. To cope with it.
but it never truly ceases to exist.

That don't mean you stop living though.

I dont really know. As hopeful as I want to be, I just can't. I can't even say I feel pain. I just feel numb really.

So I guess I'll share a bit.

My Sensei I've known since I was 9 years old had passed away last week. He was a brilliant man and a brilliant teacher. I was close to him, shared a lot with him. He was like another father to me. he allowed me to talk about my pain and allowed me to express it in a more healthy way via Karate, and talking to him about it. I'm gonna miss him a lot. He provided a safe space in this hell of a place I live in, now that he's gone... I don't really know anymore.

At the same time like I've said I've felt this pain before. So it will take me a while, but because I tend to shut people out when I'm in mourning, I ask that you don't note me or talk to me for a while. I don't want to hurt anyone and would rather not have you put yourself in that position. Unless I talk to you, please don't reach out to me. Most of the time I'd rather just focus on something to laugh about, so....yeah. *shrugs*

I will be fine though. I always am.