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Summary: While a young Reno trains to be a Turk, there are some hard and messy lessons to learn. Unfortunately for Reno, he never does things the easy way.
Pairing/Characters: Reno
Setting: FF7-Original Game/Turk Training Days
Rating: M - TW: Blood and Gore
Status: Complete
Type: One Shot Drabble
Disclaimer: All related Final Fantasy names and characters are copyrighted © by Square Enix, however, the story, ideas, interpretations and original characters all belong to me.

** WARNING - Dark, macabre humor undertone. Lots of blood and gore. Read with this in mind. You have been warned so don’t yell at me afterwards. **

“Oh god, there is so much blood!”

Reno really should have thought things through a little bit more before taking on this endeavor. Who knew that a simple “Snatch and Stash” would be so difficult? All the newly hired hit man had to do was pick up the corpse from the indicated location, bring it to the warehouse, and then prepare it for disposal. Easy-peasy, right?

Apparently not.

This was the young redhead’s first “Snatch and Stash” and due to an emergency situation, he was on his own. Again, how hard could it be? It wasn’t supposed to be a daunting task, but events were proving themselves otherwise. Why did the bastard never have any sort of luck?

Standing there, splattered in blood that was not his own, Reno glared at his who was oozing one gigantic mess onto the bare cement floor of the makeshift workshop. Who knew that one person held so much blood. Of course, the youth knew in theory. Blood made up approximately seven percent of the human body, and for an average adult, that equaled up to around one and half gallons. It didn’t seem like all that much on paper, but when it was spilling out onto the floor, a floor that you had to make sure was absolutely spotless when you were done, it seemed like a whole hell of a fucking lot.

With a sigh Reno took a step back to avoid the encroaching pool.

A whole fucking metric ass ton of a lot.

Not willing to admit defeat just yet, the inexperienced redhead turned around and looked at the tools he had already attempted to use to dismember the body. The axe was the first choice, but contrary to movies… it wasn’t that easy. Sure, with enough strength you could chop through the bone in a few swings, but the key was hitting the same spot in succession, a task easier said than done. Reno lost count how many swings he had made, and not once did he manage to land a strike twice in the same location. After a half hour worth of work, all the idiot managed to do was turn the corpses shoulder into hamburger, the bone barely even dented, let alone hacked in two. With each strike the professional made only a small nick before the weapon was diverted down the length of the humerus, the blade catching underneath the skin, peeling it away like a well sharpened wood planer. Again, this did nothing to remove the arm from his adversary’s body, which was the redhead's actual goal, although after all the chopping, the young assassin did manage to remove some impressive hunks of flesh, nicely and cleanly exposing the bone. This was failure one, and all it resulted in was an artistic splatter array over the grey walls of the room, not to mention his clothing. A lovely mess, worthy of an art gallery, but one that could still easily be cleaned up... at least at this stage.

Failure two was the hack saw. Seeing that after his failed attempts with the axe there was clear access to the bone, the semi-experienced Professional turned to the classic saw, going to grind away. Have you ever tried to saw through a tree with a hand saw? It takes a lot of strength, not to mention coordination, to not only get the blade moving, but to keep it moving smoothly. If you are able to accomplish phase one, to have the strength to make any progress to move the damn blade, then you have to have the stamina to continue, and then from there you have to have the determination to drive yourself to finish. The movies make it look so damn easy. It was this incident that proved to Reno that everything you see in movies is complete and utter bullshit. After well over an hour, the youth wasn’t even half way through the bone and the poor bugger was already exhausted. His hands cramped and ached horribly and his arm muscles begged, no... pleaded for a break. Eventually the hit man said “fuck it” and propped the semi sawed through bone upon two stacks of cinder block, stomping on the mutilated appendage until the damn thing finally broke free. It wasn’t pretty, but at least it was detached, god damn it.

One down, four more to go.

By this time the redhead realized he needed a faster, not to mention cleaner method. Enter stage left, the electric saw, which, in turn, became failure number three. Again, this was a wonderful idea in theory, but a horrible one in practice. Before you could even use the device, first you had to remove the guard, allowing enough room so one could fit said appendage in the opening of the saw. This was not a difficult task, probably the easiest obstacle Reno encountered during this whole venture, so he wasn't going to complain. If only the naive youth knew the consequences for his actions. With the guard removed, the idiot assassin went to work, pressing the whirling, high powered blade against the corpses other arm.

Big mistake.

As soon at the blade hit the plump, juicy flesh it produced a lovely arch of blood, instantaneously flinging the thick substance directly onto the redheads face, as well as the rest of the room. Blood was flung at high speed at the once sparsely splattered walls, coating the barren warehouse room like a coat fresh paint. Reno immediately stopped after the onslaught, spitting the unwanted foreign, metallic tasting substance out of his mouth. Yeah… he should have thought that plan through a little bit more before putting it into action.

After three failed ideas, it lead the novice to wonder just how in the hell were you suppose to dismember a body anyway? Not only was it turning into a feat of fucking strength, but it was making a god damn mess. The way Tseng and Rude talked about it, this was supposed to be a simple and basic task, a routine operation, however, for Reno it certainly wasn’t turning out that way, that was for god damn sure. Still, the redhead needed to finish the assignment, no matter what. He was an assassin, and assassins didn’t give up, let alone fail. Pressing on, the newbie hit man continued experimenting on the best way to complete his mission objective, in the end coating the entire room with the one and half gallons of blood that filled the average human adult.

After the body was pieced out and packaged for disposal delivery, the boy had to clean up the room, returning it to the once spotless condition, making sure to remove any and all traces of evidence. Needless to say a task that should have taken a few hours was doubled, if not tripled, by the youth’s inexperience. Upon returning to the office, Reno was soaked in blood, his face completely painted a thick red. His black suit was tinted a rich crimson and his once white shirt clung to his toned frame from all the excess liquid. The poor bastard left footprints as he continued down the hallway with his walk of shame, the youths destination his office for a change of clothes, a look of exhausted defeat on his face, which is how his partner managed to stumble across him. Giving the younger man a good once over, Rude let out a small sigh.

“You didn’t drain the body did you?”

Reno stopped in his tracks, turning to give his bald friend a curious and befuddled look. “… huh?”

“You hang the body upside down, open the major arteries, then allow it to drain over a bucket for a few hours before you start the dismembering process,” Rude spoke smooth and calmly, as if this was an everyday common practice.

Reno just blinked at his co-worker, his eyes diverting to the floor as the inexperienced idiot reached up to scratch the back of his blood drenched head. “… uhh…”

Rude rolled his eyes and shook his head before moving on, walking past the youth as he continued on with what he was doing. “Lesson learned.”

It certainly was a lesson learned, and it was one that Reno was sure to never forget again.

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

Summary: While a young Reno trains to be a Turk, there are some hard and messy lessons to learn. Unfortunately for Reno, he never does things the easy way.
Pairing/Characters: Reno
Setting: FF7-Original Game/Turk Training Days
Rating: M - TW: Blood and Gore
Status: Complete
Type: One Shot Drabble
Disclaimer: All related Final Fantasy names and characters are copyrighted © by Square Enix, however, the story, ideas, interpretations and original characters all belong to me.

** WARNING - Dark, macabre humor undertone. Lots of blood and gore. Read with this in mind. You have been warned so don’t yell at me afterwards. **

“Oh god, there is so much blood!”

Reno really should have thought things through a little bit more before taking on this endeavor. Who knew that a simple “Snatch and Stash” would be so difficult? All the newly hired hit man had to do was pick up the corpse from the indicated location, bring it to the warehouse, and then prepare it for disposal. Easy-peasy, right?

Apparently not.

This was the young redhead’s first “Snatch and Stash” and due to an emergency situation, he was on his own. Again, how hard could it be? It wasn’t supposed to be a daunting task, but events were proving themselves otherwise. Why did the bastard never have any sort of luck?

Standing there, splattered in blood that was not his own, Reno glared at his who was oozing one gigantic mess onto the bare cement floor of the makeshift workshop. Who knew that one person held so much blood. Of course, the youth knew in theory. Blood made up approximately seven percent of the human body, and for an average adult, that equaled up to around one and half gallons. It didn’t seem like all that much on paper, but when it was spilling out onto the floor, a floor that you had to make sure was absolutely spotless when you were done, it seemed like a whole hell of a fucking lot.

With a sigh Reno took a step back to avoid the encroaching pool.

A whole fucking metric ass ton of a lot.

Not willing to admit defeat just yet, the inexperienced redhead turned around and looked at the tools he had already attempted to use to dismember the body. The axe was the first choice, but contrary to movies… it wasn’t that easy. Sure, with enough strength you could chop through the bone in a few swings, but the key was hitting the same spot in succession, a task easier said than done. Reno lost count how many swings he had made, and not once did he manage to land a strike twice in the same location. After a half hour worth of work, all the idiot managed to do was turn the corpses shoulder into hamburger, the bone barely even dented, let alone hacked in two. With each strike the professional made only a small nick before the weapon was diverted down the length of the humerus, the blade catching underneath the skin, peeling it away like a well sharpened wood planer. Again, this did nothing to remove the arm from his adversary’s body, which was the redhead's actual goal, although after all the chopping, the young assassin did manage to remove some impressive hunks of flesh, nicely and cleanly exposing the bone. This was failure one, and all it resulted in was an artistic splatter array over the grey walls of the room, not to mention his clothing. A lovely mess, worthy of an art gallery, but one that could still easily be cleaned up... at least at this stage.

Failure two was the hack saw. Seeing that after his failed attempts with the axe there was clear access to the bone, the semi-experienced Professional turned to the classic saw, going to grind away. Have you ever tried to saw through a tree with a hand saw? It takes a lot of strength, not to mention coordination, to not only get the blade moving, but to keep it moving smoothly. If you are able to accomplish phase one, to have the strength to make any progress to move the damn blade, then you have to have the stamina to continue, and then from there you have to have the determination to drive yourself to finish. The movies make it look so damn easy. It was this incident that proved to Reno that everything you see in movies is complete and utter bullshit. After well over an hour, the youth wasn’t even half way through the bone and the poor bugger was already exhausted. His hands cramped and ached horribly and his arm muscles begged, no... pleaded for a break. Eventually the hit man said “fuck it” and propped the semi sawed through bone upon two stacks of cinder block, stomping on the mutilated appendage until the damn thing finally broke free. It wasn’t pretty, but at least it was detached, god damn it.

One down, four more to go.

By this time the redhead realized he needed a faster, not to mention cleaner method. Enter stage left, the electric saw, which, in turn, became failure number three. Again, this was a wonderful idea in theory, but a horrible one in practice. Before you could even use the device, first you had to remove the guard, allowing enough room so one could fit said appendage in the opening of the saw. This was not a difficult task, probably the easiest obstacle Reno encountered during this whole venture, so he wasn't going to complain. If only the naive youth knew the consequences for his actions. With the guard removed, the idiot assassin went to work, pressing the whirling, high powered blade against the corpses other arm.

Big mistake.

As soon at the blade hit the plump, juicy flesh it produced a lovely arch of blood, instantaneously flinging the thick substance directly onto the redheads face, as well as the rest of the room. Blood was flung at high speed at the once sparsely splattered walls, coating the barren warehouse room like a coat fresh paint. Reno immediately stopped after the onslaught, spitting the unwanted foreign, metallic tasting substance out of his mouth. Yeah… he should have thought that plan through a little bit more before putting it into action.

After three failed ideas, it lead the novice to wonder just how in the hell were you suppose to dismember a body anyway? Not only was it turning into a feat of fucking strength, but it was making a god damn mess. The way Tseng and Rude talked about it, this was supposed to be a simple and basic task, a routine operation, however, for Reno it certainly wasn’t turning out that way, that was for god damn sure. Still, the redhead needed to finish the assignment, no matter what. He was an assassin, and assassins didn’t give up, let alone fail. Pressing on, the newbie hit man continued experimenting on the best way to complete his mission objective, in the end coating the entire room with the one and half gallons of blood that filled the average human adult.

After the body was pieced out and packaged for disposal delivery, the boy had to clean up the room, returning it to the once spotless condition, making sure to remove any and all traces of evidence. Needless to say a task that should have taken a few hours was doubled, if not tripled, by the youth’s inexperience. Upon returning to the office, Reno was soaked in blood, his face completely painted a thick red. His black suit was tinted a rich crimson and his once white shirt clung to his toned frame from all the excess liquid. The poor bastard left footprints as he continued down the hallway with his walk of shame, the youths destination his office for a change of clothes, a look of exhausted defeat on his face, which is how his partner managed to stumble across him. Giving the younger man a good once over, Rude let out a small sigh.

“You didn’t drain the body did you?”

Reno stopped in his tracks, turning to give his bald friend a curious and befuddled look. “… huh?”

“You hang the body upside down, open the major arteries, then allow it to drain over a bucket for a few hours before you start the dismembering process,” Rude spoke smooth and calmly, as if this was an everyday common practice.

Reno just blinked at his co-worker, his eyes diverting to the floor as the inexperienced idiot reached up to scratch the back of his blood drenched head. “… uhh…”

Rude rolled his eyes and shook his head before moving on, walking past the youth as he continued on with what he was doing. “Lesson learned.”

It certainly was a lesson learned, and it was one that Reno was sure to never forget again.