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My911
Published: 2002-04-04 05:53:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 3518; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 153
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Description
Peaceful morning blissI travel deep into the paths of routine.
The radio said that fire rains down
Live, from the scene.
My peace runs to find worry
It was his day off, you see.
Hand in hand they come up front
to sit in the passenger's seat.
We drive and flinch to listen
to this woman saying ghastly things.
Today we lost over 3000
How can our freedom ring?
I could not understand it
Is it true? Is this for real?
The giants of the mighty apple
were gutted through the peel?
The 5 sided dragon is bleeding too?
the one that covers my back?
God please tell me what have we done?
How we can get them back?
How can this be so?
Nah man, this just isn't right.
How am I supposed to tell my child
to sleep safe and warm at night?
A rage, a hate, a jealousy?
That's what made these deeds be done?
Knowing this, I will drop my worries.
And pick up my countries gun.
Remembering the classes
The words I heard in school
Then I was too young to realize
Then I was a fool
The meaning of a piece of cloth
The reason for its stay
The words my teacher spoke to me
Become so clear today.
The red is the blood of honor.
The blue is my dreams and truth.
The white is the land to die for.
The stars are me and you.
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Comments: 33
"The giants of the mighty apple
were gutted through the peel?"
This I liked.
"The 5 sided dragon is bleeding too?
the one that covers my back?"
This I didn't.
Sounded like you were trying to hard. There's a very strained feel to this & I couldn't get a grip on the feelings in this poem. Still it's not terrible. Most of the language borders on effective.
Thumbs down to the admins for selecting this for DD. I've read so many unrecognized poems on DA better than this. Sappy American propaganda gets cut a lot of slack simply for the subject matter. I'm honestly sick of it & I think DA should stop encouraging it.
Deviantly yours,
Maria
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Even though it was a while ago, it still brings back the emotions of hate, rage, fear, mourning that we all went through on that horrible day.
People think that we Americans are so predictable. The Japanese thought that we'd be quaking in our boots after Pearl Harbor. We showed them American Justice. Bin Laden thought the same. Now it's time for him to pay the price for those lost.
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In a world where the media strips all feeling for anything after they drill it into your head OVER AND OVER AND OVER again... this poem made me remember a little of how I felt that day.
I think it's very good and has a lot of strong feeling in it.
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A resounding MEH... it's not TERRIBLE, but definitely not DD....
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Go, SOUNDPICTUREBOX!
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good poem. but it seems to be missing something. strong feelings, but, its pretty un-original. good job tho.
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i also have to agree with preacha and alphakx... this poem expresses true and sincere feelings but the way it does so isn't (in my opinion) nothing too out of the ordinary...
but the feelings behind the poem are very strong, and to me that counts as well!
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p a u l o .__
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No puedo hablar bastante... profundo...
Este poema rompΓ³ mi corazΓ³n. Un exemplo grande de nuestro sentimos para la tragedia en 9/11
+FAVORITAS
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I'm really at a loss for words....
Amazing.
+faves
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I am not going to use the events of 911 as an excuse to say "this is great, has impact of what happened". Unlike everyone else, I am going to comment merely on the quality of the poem, not the background of it (like most of us should).
One thing is, I agree with preacha that it is run-of-the-mill and things like this have been done way too many times now, talking about the events and their feelings, it's all been said before. It's beginning to be one of those trendwhore things, except in the subject of poetry. It's nothing different nor original. Quality wise, the rhyming is the usual, and yes, old school.
So anyways, the poem is good, but needs more drama than the obvious.
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I loved the poem. Beautiful. Also, I hate to have to put this here, but this is where I read it. PREACHA, GO THE HELL SOME PLACE ELSE. Very touching poem. I'm an old hippie/biker. Brought chills.
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Very nice poem. I like it a lot.
A few things I have to say: The United States have had this coming for a few years; it's about time someone comes along and does this. Now we don't think we're so invincible!
I live in the United States, and for a while I thought we were invincible, too. Now I know that we aren't. So, for the people wishing that "this never happened," it would have come around sooner or later; probably in an even worse form that was shown on 9/11.
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My body flowed with a shiver, very well written
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"usa patriotism"? whats wrong with that? You're just jealous the the US has reasons to be patriotic. simple as that. good tribute!
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:::::::Todd Cook::::::::
Hardcore Junglism...
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That gave me goosebumps. This is a beautiful piece, I love the symoblizim (sp) you used.
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~ Kea
Pickledilly!
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OK, I just re-read the last 2 stanzas, and I am undone. It is remarkable to see someone realize what they have taken for granted all of their life. To be able to capture that on paper is truly the essence of poetry. You have captured the awakening of a generation.
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...insert profound comment here...
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I may not be from the states, but I got a call at 9am on Sep11 from a frantic friend telling me to turn on the T.V. and when I did, you can imagine my horror at what I was seeing...
I think you covered the situation beautifully, if that can be said about such a tragedy, and my eyes teared at reading this.
I will always remember this day, and this poem which delicatly reads about such a trauma.
+fav's, and thank you so much for sharing this with DeviantArt.
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Rarely do I read poetry, let alone comment on it. It just has to be done sometimes. This is Good Stuff. Not just for the feelings involved, as others have stated, but in the approachable way it's written. I particularly like the "My peace runs to find worry
It was his day off, you see" lines. They wonderfully express the more mundane angst many, I'd expect most, people feel here and there. Great work.
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Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps. -- Grimm
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daMN, got chills down my spine. tnx!
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too run-of-the-mill for me
this has all been said before, and sometimes much better. elementary rhyming (school/fool), plus it reeks of usa patriotism.
i apologize for being terribly critical, but the subject has been overly-saturated
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damn thats some emotion.
too bad you had to write this.
favs
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:watching the world through SLR:
-=[Nitsuj-EX]=-
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That's an extremely good poem. Very well written.
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This is a marvelous tribute to the individual emotions of a people on that day. You increased it's worth ten fold by forming and leaving with us a sense of patriotism. This is one of the best 911 poems I have read.
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J y
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i think we all tell our stories over and over ... but not all as well as this.
thank you indeed.
-- deej
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As soon as beauty is sought not from religion and love, but for pleasure, it degrades the seeker.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~
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You are amazing. This is amazing. +fav's.
Thank you for this, Doug. I wub j00.
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a truly incredible expression......reminded me to pause for a moment and be thankful to the goddess for being here and having the life I have......
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The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated.
--Gandhi
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a day that brought about horror and grief, and then a strong sense of resolution. i knew, in the wake of that day, that everything i did in my life had to make a difference, had to be a response to that sickness.
I never did see the events on TV. I'm glad.
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Very well-written piece. It has a great rhythm/flow. Brings a lot of thoughts up to the surface that will never go away.
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The way to love is to realize that it may be lost. -- Gilbert K. Chesterton
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Even though I am not an American, I was affected by what happened that day. As a Canadian neighbor, I wept tears for your country. As a member of the online community, I lost a friend. This poem is a stunning piece of writing, so clearly saying what many of us felt that day. Well done. FAV
ngnd25
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My back covered
Chills
again run across
body.
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