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Description
I guess.. I have a name?
They say that. Parents.
They gave me a name, as their child.
But what could happen next, is terrifying. And it hurts me..

It's funny.
When your child is born, it's exciting. It's a wonderful, beautiful moment.
Life is good. You get to be parents to this child.
But what happens next, hurts..

Like, let's say your child turns thirteen, fourteen.
Getting closer to adulthood, but not there yet.
Let's pretend.

Because we won't tell you everything.
We'll put on a brave face. Getting tougher so we won't have to show our tears.

But what happens when things start to change, a little.
For instance, your child who's a boy, starts to have an interest in girls clothes.

You tell him no.
You deny him. "Those are girls clothes sweetie."
You say to him.

So now, you've put a label on him..
You won't allow him to be interested in such clothing..
You say things like "Be a man. Man up.."

You don't know how much those words hurt him.

It's funny, in a way. You said you loved me all these years. Said you will forever. So why did you say no?
What if he finds 'girls' clothes to be beautiful? What if he wants to wear them?
Isn't this the time where they find out who they are, for themselves?

But when he comes home with his 'girl' (as you keep reminding him) clothes you ask him. "Are those for your girlfriend?"

And he says.. "No... They're for.. for me.."

Your dad hears that. He gets up. He's mad. You can tell. He doesn't get mad often but he is right now.
He takes the bag of clothes out of your hand. And slams it on the floor.

"Are you fucking gay? You're queer! Faggot... "

You wait until things calm down and take the bag to your room.
What did I do wrong? These clothes are beautiful.. What is so wrong about me wanting to wear them? I want to be beautiful too.. Like the girls at school.
What did I do wrong? Is this... my fault? I just want to be beautiful..

And he sits there, in his room. And he's crying. He's fucking crying..
And you made him cry.

~~~~~~

You later learn that he's tucked that bag of clothes away.
He's wearing 'boys' clothes today. Blue jeans. And a heavy sweater. You don't know, but he secretly takes a knife from the kitchen drawer and tucks it into his sweater.

He's at school now. Lunch break.
In the boys bathroom. Crying, again.. He can see his tears fall to the floor. But he continues to cry.
Some of the other boys come into the room and can hear him. One of them yells out "Faggot!" Then the door slams.

What did I do wrong? Why can't I be beautiful too? Why am I being called these names.. I hate it. And I feel like shit.

He's now looking at the knife that he brought from home.
He's never cut himself before. Never wanted to. But he's so.. sad. And he feels like he's broken right now, sitting on the toilet in the bathroom...

They said they loved me, when I was born.
Dad called me a faggot last night. Mom looked at me like I was.. different..

Why can she wear those clothes and I can't?! Why?
He lost hope..

So he took the knife and cut his arms..
He felt relief for a few moments..
Went back to class and finished the day..

~~~~

Somehow, he knew.
He knew he wouldn't be accepted as a woman..
Those 'girl' clothes... He wouldn't be allowed to wear them, or to be who he truly was.
This hurt him. And he fell into a depression.
So, on his way home from school, there was a lake 15 minutes walking distance from his house. He decided to stop there and not tell his parents where he was.
He wanted to be alone...

If I was born a girl, it would be okay to wear them. Then, it would be alright, wouldn't it?
What's so terribly wrong about wanting to wear clothes that are for girls?...
If I were born a girl, it would be alright.. I could be.. happy..
Dad won't accept me. Mom may want nothing to do with me.

~~~~~

He was staring at the water. He felt very alone..
If I die.. could I be reborn as a girl?
Would that be okay? Acceptable?
He was trembling..
So, he--

He went in the lake.
And, he.. He drown himself..
He committed suicide.

~~~~~

He didn't mean to hurt anyone.
He just wanted to be beautiful..

Maybe now, he can be?...

~End~

Description
I guess.. I have a name?
They say that. Parents.
They gave me a name, as their child.
But what could happen next, is terrifying. And it hurts me..

It's funny.
When your child is born, it's exciting. It's a wonderful, beautiful moment.
Life is good. You get to be parents to this child.
But what happens next, hurts..

Like, let's say your child turns thirteen, fourteen.
Getting closer to adulthood, but not there yet.
Let's pretend.

Because we won't tell you everything.
We'll put on a brave face. Getting tougher so we won't have to show our tears.

But what happens when things start to change, a little.
For instance, your child who's a boy, starts to have an interest in girls clothes.

You tell him no.
You deny him. "Those are girls clothes sweetie."
You say to him.

So now, you've put a label on him..
You won't allow him to be interested in such clothing..
You say things like "Be a man. Man up.."

You don't know how much those words hurt him.

It's funny, in a way. You said you loved me all these years. Said you will forever. So why did you say no?
What if he finds 'girls' clothes to be beautiful? What if he wants to wear them?
Isn't this the time where they find out who they are, for themselves?

But when he comes home with his 'girl' (as you keep reminding him) clothes you ask him. "Are those for your girlfriend?"

And he says.. "No... They're for.. for me.."

Your dad hears that. He gets up. He's mad. You can tell. He doesn't get mad often but he is right now.
He takes the bag of clothes out of your hand. And slams it on the floor.

"Are you fucking gay? You're queer! Faggot... "

You wait until things calm down and take the bag to your room.
What did I do wrong? These clothes are beautiful.. What is so wrong about me wanting to wear them? I want to be beautiful too.. Like the girls at school.
What did I do wrong? Is this... my fault? I just want to be beautiful..

And he sits there, in his room. And he's crying. He's fucking crying..
And you made him cry.

~~~~~~

You later learn that he's tucked that bag of clothes away.
He's wearing 'boys' clothes today. Blue jeans. And a heavy sweater. You don't know, but he secretly takes a knife from the kitchen drawer and tucks it into his sweater.

He's at school now. Lunch break.
In the boys bathroom. Crying, again.. He can see his tears fall to the floor. But he continues to cry.
Some of the other boys come into the room and can hear him. One of them yells out "Faggot!" Then the door slams.

What did I do wrong? Why can't I be beautiful too? Why am I being called these names.. I hate it. And I feel like shit.

He's now looking at the knife that he brought from home.
He's never cut himself before. Never wanted to. But he's so.. sad. And he feels like he's broken right now, sitting on the toilet in the bathroom...

They said they loved me, when I was born.
Dad called me a faggot last night. Mom looked at me like I was.. different..

Why can she wear those clothes and I can't?! Why?
He lost hope..

So he took the knife and cut his arms..
He felt relief for a few moments..
Went back to class and finished the day..

~~~~

Somehow, he knew.
He knew he wouldn't be accepted as a woman..
Those 'girl' clothes... He wouldn't be allowed to wear them, or to be who he truly was.
This hurt him. And he fell into a depression.
So, on his way home from school, there was a lake 15 minutes walking distance from his house. He decided to stop there and not tell his parents where he was.
He wanted to be alone...

If I was born a girl, it would be okay to wear them. Then, it would be alright, wouldn't it?
What's so terribly wrong about wanting to wear clothes that are for girls?...
If I were born a girl, it would be alright.. I could be.. happy..
Dad won't accept me. Mom may want nothing to do with me.

~~~~~

He was staring at the water. He felt very alone..
If I die.. could I be reborn as a girl?
Would that be okay? Acceptable?
He was trembling..
So, he--

He went in the lake.
And, he.. He drown himself..
He committed suicide.

~~~~~

He didn't mean to hurt anyone.
He just wanted to be beautiful..

Maybe now, he can be?...

~End~