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Description
Hi everyone..

Josh is here..
And I wish I could say I was okay.
But I'm not.. Sadly..

~~~~~~~

I saw you that day.
School's just boring mostly. Homework. Pointless exams and tests that we stress over.
I suppose in the long run this is meant to help me evolve from a teen into an adult. I'm assuming that's their goal for us. All of us. Classes here have twenty something kids. Like me.
I've gotten used to it. The routine. And I don't draw attention to myself. I'm like a small mouse in that way. Tiny. Almost invisible. Which is what I want.
There's only four years of this routine. Then I'll graduate I suppose, and go on to something better. Something that will make me a 'valued' part of society..
I don't really know, and I don't really care...

What is there of me?
My name? This face? I guess I am a little different. If you want to use that term. My name? Oh sorry. It's Joey. Or Joe for short. I'm a little over five feet tall. Not exactly muscular..
Oh, and I paint my nails. A dark blue. I've loved the colour blue. It's the color of the sky. And we're all connected through the same sky. So it's comforting to me.
Now, being a guy, and wearing nail-polish.. These two things don't really go together. It's safe to say it's caught some people my surprise.
Do I wear lip-stick too you ask? Nope. Just the nail-polish.

I've been called names because of it.. Queer. Fag. Fairy... What have you.. I try to ignore them and blend in to the crowd.
I want to blend in, like a chameleon. To the point that I'm invisible. But still here enough to leave a shadow. I'll paint the world blue...
I'd like to.

Do my parents approve of my nail-polish? Not really. But they don't call me out on it either. So it's kind of nice.
When I go to the lunch room to eat, I get stared at. Nail polish on guys isn't really the norm. But secretly, I wonder if they 'd like to try it too.
Why do my nails being polished have anything to do with you? Nothing.. No big deal.

So maybe these four years will be a little hard for me. I may never fit in, but I don't want to fit in. I just want to be invisible...

As it turned out.. Maybe by change or just a random encounter, there was a buy in my class who caught my eye. He has dark hair. Wears black lip-stick. And he wears sweaters every day to class. I'm thinking maybe he doesn't like his arms? I don't know.
Anyway, one day I decided to talk to him during lunch hour. I sit in the cafeteria by myself. And he does the same. The tables in our cafeteria are long, so that's nice. He's five table in front of me. I sometimes peek at him. Studying him, if you like. I wonder what life is like for him at home. Who is parents are.
So I asked him one day.

he told me that he lives by himself. And that he doesn't have parents. When I hear this, I feel bad. I wonder what that's like. Sitting in his house alone.
He tells me he doesn't give a shit. "This world is boring anyway.. There is no color here.." He told me once.
I wonder what he meant by that.

We met up by chance when it was time to go home. My locker is right beside his. I'm getting my back-pack out of my locker. And I felt his hand on mine for a moment. It was different I guess.. No other guys, (or girls for that matter) have touched me.. I was confused a little. Maybe he liked my nail-polish?
For a moment, he studied me. I think he was trying to figure me out. Chance encounters are rare. And his lip-stick was gorgeous..

We decided to walk home together. His house was five houses down from mine. I was number 19, and he was number 24. There's a tree in my yard. It's quite tall. Definitely taller than me. I sat down on the ground. He joined me. I was thinking to myself why he touched my hand. Was that moment important to him? I remembered it. It was something different. I felt my cheeks start to turn red while thinking about it. I didn't know what to do. I was thinking of some way to repay him. Maybe he was secretly gay? Was I as well? But then, this hadn't happened with the other boys at school. Nobody else talked to me or took an interest in me. Is this a good thing? Or something bad? Or even, could it be both? I didn't know then.
I thought about it. And we just sat there. Together, under the tree in my yard.

Looking back now, maybe I did like him. It's funny. After that one day, we never talked again. Or spent time together. Maybe that was for the best? I don't know. I wondered what had happened to him. Where he had gone. What he was up to now.
I guess it's the silly things like that that make you think..

I did like him. And I still do..
I hope I'll see him again..
Maybe someday I will...

~End~

Description
Hi everyone..

Josh is here..
And I wish I could say I was okay.
But I'm not.. Sadly..

~~~~~~~

I saw you that day.
School's just boring mostly. Homework. Pointless exams and tests that we stress over.
I suppose in the long run this is meant to help me evolve from a teen into an adult. I'm assuming that's their goal for us. All of us. Classes here have twenty something kids. Like me.
I've gotten used to it. The routine. And I don't draw attention to myself. I'm like a small mouse in that way. Tiny. Almost invisible. Which is what I want.
There's only four years of this routine. Then I'll graduate I suppose, and go on to something better. Something that will make me a 'valued' part of society..
I don't really know, and I don't really care...

What is there of me?
My name? This face? I guess I am a little different. If you want to use that term. My name? Oh sorry. It's Joey. Or Joe for short. I'm a little over five feet tall. Not exactly muscular..
Oh, and I paint my nails. A dark blue. I've loved the colour blue. It's the color of the sky. And we're all connected through the same sky. So it's comforting to me.
Now, being a guy, and wearing nail-polish.. These two things don't really go together. It's safe to say it's caught some people my surprise.
Do I wear lip-stick too you ask? Nope. Just the nail-polish.

I've been called names because of it.. Queer. Fag. Fairy... What have you.. I try to ignore them and blend in to the crowd.
I want to blend in, like a chameleon. To the point that I'm invisible. But still here enough to leave a shadow. I'll paint the world blue...
I'd like to.

Do my parents approve of my nail-polish? Not really. But they don't call me out on it either. So it's kind of nice.
When I go to the lunch room to eat, I get stared at. Nail polish on guys isn't really the norm. But secretly, I wonder if they 'd like to try it too.
Why do my nails being polished have anything to do with you? Nothing.. No big deal.

So maybe these four years will be a little hard for me. I may never fit in, but I don't want to fit in. I just want to be invisible...

As it turned out.. Maybe by change or just a random encounter, there was a buy in my class who caught my eye. He has dark hair. Wears black lip-stick. And he wears sweaters every day to class. I'm thinking maybe he doesn't like his arms? I don't know.
Anyway, one day I decided to talk to him during lunch hour. I sit in the cafeteria by myself. And he does the same. The tables in our cafeteria are long, so that's nice. He's five table in front of me. I sometimes peek at him. Studying him, if you like. I wonder what life is like for him at home. Who is parents are.
So I asked him one day.

he told me that he lives by himself. And that he doesn't have parents. When I hear this, I feel bad. I wonder what that's like. Sitting in his house alone.
He tells me he doesn't give a shit. "This world is boring anyway.. There is no color here.." He told me once.
I wonder what he meant by that.

We met up by chance when it was time to go home. My locker is right beside his. I'm getting my back-pack out of my locker. And I felt his hand on mine for a moment. It was different I guess.. No other guys, (or girls for that matter) have touched me.. I was confused a little. Maybe he liked my nail-polish?
For a moment, he studied me. I think he was trying to figure me out. Chance encounters are rare. And his lip-stick was gorgeous..

We decided to walk home together. His house was five houses down from mine. I was number 19, and he was number 24. There's a tree in my yard. It's quite tall. Definitely taller than me. I sat down on the ground. He joined me. I was thinking to myself why he touched my hand. Was that moment important to him? I remembered it. It was something different. I felt my cheeks start to turn red while thinking about it. I didn't know what to do. I was thinking of some way to repay him. Maybe he was secretly gay? Was I as well? But then, this hadn't happened with the other boys at school. Nobody else talked to me or took an interest in me. Is this a good thing? Or something bad? Or even, could it be both? I didn't know then.
I thought about it. And we just sat there. Together, under the tree in my yard.

Looking back now, maybe I did like him. It's funny. After that one day, we never talked again. Or spent time together. Maybe that was for the best? I don't know. I wondered what had happened to him. Where he had gone. What he was up to now.
I guess it's the silly things like that that make you think..

I did like him. And I still do..
I hope I'll see him again..
Maybe someday I will...

~End~