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Description
We lived.
And then, we died.
That next morning. When you were off to work. I was with my boyfriend.
Couldn't find me, could you? I wanted to run away. For some time now actually.

I spotted him one morning. At school.
He was cute, I suppose.
His eyes were blue. Like the ocean.

I wanted him to like me. Though I mostly just avoided him.
I didn't want to make a scene.
I thought if I did, you'd notice me.

I'm not really social. Don't have many 'friends.' And I prefer it that way to be honest.
We're only here for four years.
We're taught meaningless nonsense. Nothing about love. Or finding someone.

Next thing, prom comes. And we're wondering when we can get out of here.

Let's pretend that I wanted to see you.
I'm not that good with words. You've probably already guessed that.
I mostly just have my nose in books. I'm a bit of a study freak.

But I did want to meet you.
I did.. I just, couldn't find the right words to say. Even hello, was difficult.
A simple word. The start of a conversation..

What if you didn't like me.
Or say you called me a fag for taking an interest in you.. I expected it. That and more.
Would I be able to meet you? Could I have the courage to meet you? Were you waiting for me? Had you already singled me out?

I didn't know..
How could I know?
Some girls will say it's obvious.
I'm not.. I don't-- I just didn't know..

Days went by.
For some reason, you stuck in my head.
I couldn't tell you why. Just happened..
Let me make it clear, I'm not into sex.. Or kissing..
I've seen people do it in the school halls.. It just.. creeps me out.
I suppose, I wanted to. But I suppressed it.

I was at a conflict with myself.
Should I take the risk? Is it worth it?
I wouldn't say this was love. I was just-- You were.. I was curious..

Naturally, the girls would be an easy choice for you. You were good looking. And they seemed to flock to you. Like sheep to a shepherd.
Maybe part of me wanted that. Wanted to connect with you.

My dad was religious.. Very against the thought or even the notion of two guys liking each other.
Mom played the organ at church on sundays..
I went. Because I had to.. It was, tradition in our family.

So I want, that sunday.
It's funny.. The preacher said it was against God for a guy to like another guy. That we'll go to hell for it.
But I started thinking. Why? Why should we get punished for liking someone. Even if they are the same gender.
It didn't make sense to me..

Skipping to Monday.
I waited for you, after class. In the hallway.
I was nervous. You could see it on my face. Clutching at my binder for dear life. I started breathing quicker as I walked towards you.
Never done this before. What if I mess up? What if I touch you? Kiss you?
What happens then?

It didn't matter that the other kids were there in the halls. I just.. I wanted to make sure..
I wanted to see why it was so wrong.. Is this really such a bad and hateful thing like I'd been taught?

As it turns out, I didn't kiss you.
I merely, caressed your cheek with my hand for a moment.
It's here. This is the moment. Right here. Right now.. What else do I do?
Should I kiss you? Are you okay with some random guy touching you?
But I wanted, needed to be sure.

It only lasted a few moments. Seconds even. But in that moment, that one moment, I was sure.
I did like you. And since kissing bothers me, this was enough.
This one, small moment was enough. You may not like me. You may think I'm a fag. And that was fine with me.

I just wanted this one moment to be mine.
And it was..

I left the school.
I didn't look back. I could feel your heartbeat increase when I touched you.
Perhaps you felt the same way? I'm not sure.
And I may never know.

Surely, God wouldn't send me to hell.
So I walked with a smile on my face, home.

My heart, was at peace.

~End~

Description
We lived.
And then, we died.
That next morning. When you were off to work. I was with my boyfriend.
Couldn't find me, could you? I wanted to run away. For some time now actually.

I spotted him one morning. At school.
He was cute, I suppose.
His eyes were blue. Like the ocean.

I wanted him to like me. Though I mostly just avoided him.
I didn't want to make a scene.
I thought if I did, you'd notice me.

I'm not really social. Don't have many 'friends.' And I prefer it that way to be honest.
We're only here for four years.
We're taught meaningless nonsense. Nothing about love. Or finding someone.

Next thing, prom comes. And we're wondering when we can get out of here.

Let's pretend that I wanted to see you.
I'm not that good with words. You've probably already guessed that.
I mostly just have my nose in books. I'm a bit of a study freak.

But I did want to meet you.
I did.. I just, couldn't find the right words to say. Even hello, was difficult.
A simple word. The start of a conversation..

What if you didn't like me.
Or say you called me a fag for taking an interest in you.. I expected it. That and more.
Would I be able to meet you? Could I have the courage to meet you? Were you waiting for me? Had you already singled me out?

I didn't know..
How could I know?
Some girls will say it's obvious.
I'm not.. I don't-- I just didn't know..

Days went by.
For some reason, you stuck in my head.
I couldn't tell you why. Just happened..
Let me make it clear, I'm not into sex.. Or kissing..
I've seen people do it in the school halls.. It just.. creeps me out.
I suppose, I wanted to. But I suppressed it.

I was at a conflict with myself.
Should I take the risk? Is it worth it?
I wouldn't say this was love. I was just-- You were.. I was curious..

Naturally, the girls would be an easy choice for you. You were good looking. And they seemed to flock to you. Like sheep to a shepherd.
Maybe part of me wanted that. Wanted to connect with you.

My dad was religious.. Very against the thought or even the notion of two guys liking each other.
Mom played the organ at church on sundays..
I went. Because I had to.. It was, tradition in our family.

So I want, that sunday.
It's funny.. The preacher said it was against God for a guy to like another guy. That we'll go to hell for it.
But I started thinking. Why? Why should we get punished for liking someone. Even if they are the same gender.
It didn't make sense to me..

Skipping to Monday.
I waited for you, after class. In the hallway.
I was nervous. You could see it on my face. Clutching at my binder for dear life. I started breathing quicker as I walked towards you.
Never done this before. What if I mess up? What if I touch you? Kiss you?
What happens then?

It didn't matter that the other kids were there in the halls. I just.. I wanted to make sure..
I wanted to see why it was so wrong.. Is this really such a bad and hateful thing like I'd been taught?

As it turns out, I didn't kiss you.
I merely, caressed your cheek with my hand for a moment.
It's here. This is the moment. Right here. Right now.. What else do I do?
Should I kiss you? Are you okay with some random guy touching you?
But I wanted, needed to be sure.

It only lasted a few moments. Seconds even. But in that moment, that one moment, I was sure.
I did like you. And since kissing bothers me, this was enough.
This one, small moment was enough. You may not like me. You may think I'm a fag. And that was fine with me.

I just wanted this one moment to be mine.
And it was..

I left the school.
I didn't look back. I could feel your heartbeat increase when I touched you.
Perhaps you felt the same way? I'm not sure.
And I may never know.

Surely, God wouldn't send me to hell.
So I walked with a smile on my face, home.

My heart, was at peace.

~End~