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pyroxyz — Like Me
Published: 2016-03-13 17:31:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 96; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description
What is my passion?I have no clue.
Change
My mind all the time
Because I
Cannot make it up
To what it's supposed to be.
So I stand
So still I can hardly see
Everyone rushing past me.
Be wary that I
Don't drag you down with my
Intelligent, ignorant stupidity as
I reach for where you are,
Hoping to pull myself out of this
Pit when all I do
Is
Pull you in with me.
Perhaps
Some long and distant
Day from now I might
Have the wisdom,
Lack the stupidity
To help the others
That struggle
Like me.
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Comments: 11
Nice , I like it when people go out of their comfort zone to try new things
I especially like the last stanza, I think it has a nice flow. Not so sure about 3rd one though, it's my personal taste, but I don't like words that belong together being split into different lines (like "as I reach", "this pit"). It just interrupts my train of thought or something. But it's your style in the end, everyone has to find their own!
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Yeah, I did that to intentionally break the flow to hopefully cause the reader to read it more slowly and take the meaning in better. It also somehow felt better to me.
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Interesting.. I see what you are trying to do.. I think you could also do that by using one- or two-word lines..
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Yes, but see, I did that as well! ;3
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No problem! I got to look at more of your stuff soon. XD Happy thoughts!
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Right back at ya, my friend! ;3
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You're very welcome my good sir! :3
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