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#bird #choice #divorce #hurt #lark #love #marriage
Published: 2015-10-11 02:03:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 474; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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The air - musty - is almost still hereDust motes bounce around me
Like little puppies waiting for a treat
The nest is still there after all these years
The one I once found
It was a lark's nest, once filled with hope
I would climb up on my little stool every day
Just for the chance to see a life
Hatch from the fragile little eggs
I remember the mom never minded too much;
My being there
After all, I was the one who let her into the house
By mistake of course!
On a cold spring day, when the rain was waltzing in the clouds
And she flew in, dancing through the air
But she was not alone, no
He was there with her
Guiding her, loving her
And together, they were complete
I watched the small pile of twigs and string
Turn into something only love could create
A home
Through a child's eyes, the eggs that laid there
Seemed to be a miracle of the world
That two small little birds could create
One, two, three, four, five!
Souls that had yet to be born
Each day, anticipation grew as all of us waited
Sometimes patiently, sometimes not
For the beginning of a new adventure
But what I saw, laying there in the straw
Opened my eyes to the world
As a child, I had already seen beauty and light
But with the hatching of those eggs
Came the knowing; the truth
Just like in the Garden of Eden
With Adam and Eve
Maybe ignorance is bliss
Because what I saw there-
No words could ever explain
There was only one left
Just one
The rest became casualties
The milky yolk and tiny, furry bodies
Scattered in the nest
No blood, but the death was real
And I stood there dumbfounded
As the mother cried her sorrow into the empty, cold air
That the one who had sworn to protect her
Destroyed the one thing she valued above even her own life
There was no sign
He had been kind and gentle all those weeks
The perfect partner
And yet he had betrayed her in the worst way imaginable
And for what?
I still do not know, even today
All I know was that he had disappeared into the mist
That one egg did hatch
But there was no happiness to be seen
For that soul would grow
Without ever having known
What it was like to have a father
I cried with her that day
And shed my tears like a little schoolgirl
Because I didn't know what else to do
I would learn years later from Shakespeare
That larks were the lovers
Intertwined forever in this great circle of life
That they would protect and cherish one another
For eternity
Well for once, the great poet is wrong
Or at least in my eyes he is
Because I will never forget the lark's sad song that day
The months after passed by so quickly
And that little hatchling began to grow
It seemed almost natural
Just me, her and the chick
But we both knew it wasn't
I could never fill in that ever so vital presence
The one her lover was entitled to hold
After her child had flew away to make a life of her own
We both sat in silence
For now there was no joy to keep the sadness at bay
And no sun to keep the rain away
It was around a month later did I notice
That the lark had stopped singing
And a few days later I found her on the floor
A single tear in her eye
Anyone would say it was because of old age
But I knew better
It was from a broken heart
For she had loved him so much
That it nearly killed her when he left her
And with the last reminder of their love gone
She no longer had reason to live
I gave her a proper burial
In the backyard, under the apple tree
Hoping that she may finally find rest
Now, all these years later
I am back in the same place, the same house
The same attic
And the remnants of the memories still remain
That treasured little nest
Ever so slowly disintegrating
In the palm of my hand
My daughter is grown up now
On her way to university
She doesn't see her father
Slapping me across the room
Showing his anger whenever she's not around
I thought I understood before
But now I feel it to the tips of my toes
How that lark would have felt
When she thought that their vows were forever
Because the truth is
Sometimes forever isn't real
For when I looked up at him
And promised to be his forevermore
His eyes, once shining with love
Had suddenly turned cold
I had meant every syllable
And do I regret it now?
I'm not quite sure…
I can see her now
Twenty years later, looking at me in the eye
Challenging, forcing me to choose
Her spirit resides here, after all these years
And beckons me
Beckoning, beckoning, beckoning
She looks at me as if I'm her daughter
The one she raised all by herself all those years ago
She whispers in my ear that little nursery rhyme
That so reflects our lives
'Aloutte, gentille Alouette, Aloutte je te tu plumerai'
She's still here, asking me
If I will end up like her
A broken spirit in a musty old attic
Still hurting after all these years
I feel the old string in my hands
Scratching at my skin
Bringing me back to the present
It's almost time to go and face my fate
The counsellor is waiting for me to make my decision
Do I dare?
I place what's left of the bundle on the shelf
Where it once was all those years ago
And look at the attic one last time
And suddenly the air seems still
Anticipating the words from my mouth
I say none, but quietly promise:
Oh lark, you've asked me all these years
And now I can answer
No longer will my life be a reflection of yours
A dark, cruel fate
You never had the chance to stand for yourself
And so today I stand for the both of us
So that our spirits will finally be set free








