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Description
I awaken to see the wetness on my pillow
I've cried in my sleep
again
I shrug on some clothes and stumbling downstairs
I make a meagre breakfast cuz
I'm never that hungry anymore but
I wonder if people will think I'm anorexic
but I know I'm not so why does it matter
then I quickly drink the hot chocolate and
ensure my compass is safely in my bag since
I don't know how bad it will be today then
I run out of the house before my parents
can say anything stupid and then
when I get to school I see him
again
and choke down the inevitable tears that
get harder to stop every time yet
I still find myself subconciously wearing
the mask that covers my whole being since
I have to look happy or they'll monitor me and
I can't be bothered with that
again
I see them together melting at even
just the sight of each other and I remember
what it was like when he did that with me
so then I leave the room, taking my compass
as today is already worse than I had actually
anticipated so I need to do it
again
later I see her in the corridor and
I don't even get a smile for my help but
it is enough to see her alive because
I see the red marks on her wrists and know that
they'd be worse if I hadn't been there
so I stumble through my lessons, see an A but
I don't really care anymore because
it feels like everything is completely pointless
so there isn't really any reason to continue so
I eventually get home and I skip dinner
because I'm not hungry
again
so I stumble back upstairs to take an aspirin
or two or three or maybe just the whole pack
but I'm too much of a coward so I just
sit and stare at it all thinking about how
everything could just end right here but
due to my own stupidity I'm stuck
crying here on my bed
again
wondering if someday I might not be alone
yet still wondering how long it will be
until I die so I lie down and put the duvet
right up over my head and pretend that
I'm in my cosy grave but then I notice
the spreading damp patch next to me and
think about how I'm getting a headache
again
so I drift off into dreamland and
there in my night terrors he is there
again

Description
I awaken to see the wetness on my pillow
I've cried in my sleep
again
I shrug on some clothes and stumbling downstairs
I make a meagre breakfast cuz
I'm never that hungry anymore but
I wonder if people will think I'm anorexic
but I know I'm not so why does it matter
then I quickly drink the hot chocolate and
ensure my compass is safely in my bag since
I don't know how bad it will be today then
I run out of the house before my parents
can say anything stupid and then
when I get to school I see him
again
and choke down the inevitable tears that
get harder to stop every time yet
I still find myself subconciously wearing
the mask that covers my whole being since
I have to look happy or they'll monitor me and
I can't be bothered with that
again
I see them together melting at even
just the sight of each other and I remember
what it was like when he did that with me
so then I leave the room, taking my compass
as today is already worse than I had actually
anticipated so I need to do it
again
later I see her in the corridor and
I don't even get a smile for my help but
it is enough to see her alive because
I see the red marks on her wrists and know that
they'd be worse if I hadn't been there
so I stumble through my lessons, see an A but
I don't really care anymore because
it feels like everything is completely pointless
so there isn't really any reason to continue so
I eventually get home and I skip dinner
because I'm not hungry
again
so I stumble back upstairs to take an aspirin
or two or three or maybe just the whole pack
but I'm too much of a coward so I just
sit and stare at it all thinking about how
everything could just end right here but
due to my own stupidity I'm stuck
crying here on my bed
again
wondering if someday I might not be alone
yet still wondering how long it will be
until I die so I lie down and put the duvet
right up over my head and pretend that
I'm in my cosy grave but then I notice
the spreading damp patch next to me and
think about how I'm getting a headache
again
so I drift off into dreamland and
there in my night terrors he is there
again