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Description
You say you have a knife.
I know you’ve attempted before.
My heart stops.
My eyes water.
My mouth goes dry.
My thoughts race.
I can’t imagine…
If you die…
I don’t let the thought persist.
“Put it down. Now!” I instruct through the mechanical voice that is my hurriedly typed words. I’m so scared, I can hardly breathe. I think to myself, you have got to be joking. Then again, this is going to be the first joke you’ve ever told that doesn’t make me laugh.
“Ok, I’ve put it back. I may or may not be bleeding already though…” you type back. I let out my breath, well, that’s the first step done.
“Clean yourself up, then we will talk,” I manage to type with my shaking hands. I run my still quivering hands through my hair and allow myself to relax for just a moment. This is turning out to happen more often than I would like. “You have got to relax now and don’t let the monster take you away from me.” I beg.
“I won’t let him win.”
“You had better not. We will fight him together.”
“I don’t need your help.” That is when I can’t seem to stand it anymore and draw my own knife. After all I’ve tried to do, after all I’ve done and you don’t even care! Then again, if I commit, who’s going to stop you? I satisfy the hunger with a couple of quick slashes on my own leg.
“Please, I love you, I need you…”
“You, you…You need me?” you ask, confused.
“Yes, I need you, Don’t leave me.” It pulls you together temporarily. I have some time before the next episode.

The day after, I tune in again to the same problem, a problem which is harder to solve every time but that doesn’t stop me, and it never will. You are my friend and that is never going to change. You aren’t dying on my watch.

Description
You say you have a knife.
I know you’ve attempted before.
My heart stops.
My eyes water.
My mouth goes dry.
My thoughts race.
I can’t imagine…
If you die…
I don’t let the thought persist.
“Put it down. Now!” I instruct through the mechanical voice that is my hurriedly typed words. I’m so scared, I can hardly breathe. I think to myself, you have got to be joking. Then again, this is going to be the first joke you’ve ever told that doesn’t make me laugh.
“Ok, I’ve put it back. I may or may not be bleeding already though…” you type back. I let out my breath, well, that’s the first step done.
“Clean yourself up, then we will talk,” I manage to type with my shaking hands. I run my still quivering hands through my hair and allow myself to relax for just a moment. This is turning out to happen more often than I would like. “You have got to relax now and don’t let the monster take you away from me.” I beg.
“I won’t let him win.”
“You had better not. We will fight him together.”
“I don’t need your help.” That is when I can’t seem to stand it anymore and draw my own knife. After all I’ve tried to do, after all I’ve done and you don’t even care! Then again, if I commit, who’s going to stop you? I satisfy the hunger with a couple of quick slashes on my own leg.
“Please, I love you, I need you…”
“You, you…You need me?” you ask, confused.
“Yes, I need you, Don’t leave me.” It pulls you together temporarily. I have some time before the next episode.

The day after, I tune in again to the same problem, a problem which is harder to solve every time but that doesn’t stop me, and it never will. You are my friend and that is never going to change. You aren’t dying on my watch.