HOME | DD

Remote-Spook — Fall as we Must
Published: 2004-06-23 14:49:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 138; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 13
Redirect to original
Description Let the leaves fall as they must
As rain must fall and hit the ground
Let them brown with golden rust
Glorious miniature crashing sound
Succumbing to gravitational lust
Infinity's pit is never bound

Sinking slowly through swift sand
With blocked ears I hear the call
Inhaling gritty liquid land
It's my time, my turn to fall
Come with me and take my hand
Sacrifice everything, give up your all

Be my one, I'll be your soul
Be with me, can't you hear it calling
We'll be together, we'll reach our goal
Let us stand tall, no longer crawling
Before this linliness takes its toll
You and me, let's fall in...
Related content

[ TEXT ]


Remote-Spook - Leaf

Remote-Spook - my first pumpkin
Comments: 14

munkey-chan [2004-11-22 07:52:45 +0000 UTC]

very beautiful

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KarmaGhost [2004-06-27 20:08:51 +0000 UTC]

The beautiful juxtaposition of two falling into lust with rain and leaves just makes this poem amazing. I've read several poems on desire and such, but this is the first one that really catches my eye...for two reasons:

1) It catches the ephemeral nature of lust...leaves turn to gold for sure, but they eventually grow back...lust is never permanent.
2) Although I love rain, it is undeniably one of the most depressing weather systems in the world. As such, you catch that lust is nothing next to love.

The rhyme scheme rounds out the poem, but no offense, I think it sounds somewhat childish. (I'm bias, though; I hate rhyming poetry.) To your credit, however, the "childish" sound of rhyming poetry really adds to the coming-of-age nature of a "lust" poem. Willing to fall as an adult, but still clinging to the rhyme of a child.

Beautiful imagery and great poem, Spook.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Remote-Spook In reply to KarmaGhost [2004-06-28 02:59:45 +0000 UTC]

ty, ghost!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

soulwrai [2004-06-27 18:41:08 +0000 UTC]

superb imagery, beautifully well done

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Remote-Spook In reply to soulwrai [2004-06-28 02:58:36 +0000 UTC]

ty!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

sanjose [2004-06-27 03:42:49 +0000 UTC]

if i had read this last week at camp, i am posative, i would not be as unsure as i am right now. that was a very amazing poem. you are very very talented.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Remote-Spook In reply to sanjose [2004-06-27 06:07:30 +0000 UTC]

ty!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

staxu [2004-06-26 03:35:24 +0000 UTC]

this is also wonderful ... and definately worthy of a fave

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Remote-Spook In reply to staxu [2004-06-26 03:41:44 +0000 UTC]

wow!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

bladerain [2004-06-25 15:56:02 +0000 UTC]

"With blocked ears I hear the call"
Hm... still thinking... But it is a really nice piece, with a great rythm and a beautiful mood.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Remote-Spook In reply to bladerain [2004-06-26 01:18:25 +0000 UTC]

ty

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

azrael0033 [2004-06-24 03:45:55 +0000 UTC]

Congradulations on me making this a favorite for you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

gothickitty-agent101 [2004-06-24 00:09:48 +0000 UTC]

hmmmmm... very cute. it is diffferent then your norm.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

GuitarGirl [2004-06-23 23:19:20 +0000 UTC]

That is Awesome.... I love that. Its an instant Favorite

👍: 0 ⏩: 0