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rockgem — Movement...
Published: 2012-04-19 16:16:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 448; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 2
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Description I remember how you moved;
Teetering ever so slightly fawn-like
On butterfly legs and four-inch heels--
All swirls and currents of  fabrics,
Black lace and satin layered tempest.
A coffee heart and alcohol soul
Cupcake frosting and cats eyes.
I knew then I loved your intoxication;  
And then hated you for just that.  
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Comments: 10

ShadowedAcolyte [2012-05-25 19:55:13 +0000 UTC]

"...and alcohol soul" has gorgeous sonics to it. That's the best thing here, and worth exploring.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rockgem In reply to ShadowedAcolyte [2012-05-25 21:22:24 +0000 UTC]

thankyou for the compliment i guess its the best description i could come up with to describe an intoxicating personality - its an idea that i might develop - or if its a phrase thats inspired you have at it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Apheline [2012-04-24 10:43:31 +0000 UTC]

That's how it always goes with the ones we love.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rockgem In reply to Apheline [2012-04-24 20:26:07 +0000 UTC]

i think this was a little bit of a strange mix in all fairness - pieces of who i was mixed in with pieces of other people

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Apheline In reply to rockgem [2012-04-25 02:56:26 +0000 UTC]

Sounds like I good way to make poetry!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rockgem In reply to Apheline [2012-04-27 11:24:37 +0000 UTC]

sometimes it works sometimes it don't - might try others like this sooner or later

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

OpaquelyMysterious [2012-04-20 17:39:19 +0000 UTC]

What do you think of my haiku The Pacific:

Warmth spreads
Through soul
Memory gone
Feeling pacified
For oneself

I thought it might be choppy, but i entered this revised version of my poem in a contest. What do you think?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rockgem In reply to OpaquelyMysterious [2012-04-21 19:55:26 +0000 UTC]

i like it but i thought haiku were three lines? i know there are different structures of haiku over the three lines with the syllables but the only one i am really familiar with is the 5- 7 - 5 syllable structure

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

OpaquelyMysterious In reply to rockgem [2012-05-02 22:41:06 +0000 UTC]

yeah, they are supposed to be three lines, but the contest rules were no less than five lines, so i improvised using the original one i wrote.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rockgem In reply to OpaquelyMysterious [2012-05-03 08:30:51 +0000 UTC]

ah- i was about to get very confused for a few moments then rockgem BC (before coffee!) is not the sharpest tool in the shed

👍: 0 ⏩: 0