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Title: Never Easy Part V
Author: Ruby13b
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: R
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Content, Mpreg
Summary: Sequel to The Recovery Boys. Loose ends are tied up. New drama occurs. It's never easy for Harry and Draco.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and am owned by no one. Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am not being paid for this.

This is a Harry/Draco fanfic. Meaning boy/boy. If you don't like don't read. You have been warned.

In spite of himself, Harry didn’t go far when he left the flat. In fact, he didn’t even leave the building. He went up to the roof. When he was up in a high place, everything else seemed small. Like it all didn’t really matter much, in the great scheme of things. If it was that small, it couldn’t matter all that much. Harry walked over to the wall, placing his hands on the top of it and looking out. The tears that he had been able to hold in before were now running freely down his cheeks. There was no way he could stop them now. He didn’t even bother to wipe them away. Was this really how it was going to be? Harry didn’t think he would be able to look at Draco the same way anymore. Did that mean their relationship was over?

Harry looked up at the night sky. It was dark and overcast. He was positive that it would rain soon. He had been thinking for awhile now. Tears steamed out of his eyes every so often. How long had he been up here? It had to be a couple of hours at least. Harry wondered what Draco had done after he had left. Was he still in the flat? Or had he gone somewhere else? He was most likely in the first pub he saw, drinking himself dead, along with their baby. Harry shook that image out of his head. It was too much to bear.

Harry questioned what he should do next. He felt like he needed to be somewhere else, but he didn’t know where that "somewhere else" even was. Harry ran a shaking hand through his hair. Sweat was moistening his dark locks. He had stopped crying, and now there were only two streaks of salt down either cheek. That was the only evidence that was left of his emotion breakdown. He didn’t know why he wasn’t crying anymore. Maybe he was just tired of crying.  He felt so alone. He hadn’t felt this way since before the war. He was so anxious and uncertain, and he didn’t know what to expect next.

“Harry?” said a trembling voice behind him. Harry turned to see Draco standing in front of him. He had his hands clasped, and he was staring at his feet.

“Draco…” Harry breathed. He would have liked to have said something else. He would have even liked to yell at Draco. But he couldn’t think of anything to say. In spite of everything, Harry still loved him. It was foolish, he knew. What was going to become of them now? Draco was probably here to tell Harry he was leaving. Harry knew.

“Harry, I’ve changed my mind,” Draco whispered.

What? Was this for real? Had Draco come to his senses? Harry didn’t think that was possible. Draco was overly stubborn and rarely considered something twice. It was a bizarre thing indeed for him to give in like this. Harry didn’t have time to ponder why Draco had experienced a change of heart, though.

“You…you mean you’re going to keep it?” Harry stumbled. Great, he was going to cry again. That was all he seemed to be good for, all of a sudden.

Draco nodded. That was all it took for Harry to break down all over again. He leaned his hands on the wall once more, and he sobbed. Draco came up behind him, wrapping him up in his arms. Draco gave him a light kiss on the side of his face. Harry wiped his eyes and turned around in Draco’s arms to hug him. Draco dabbed the remaining tears from Harry’s face away and smiled sadly. He had apparently sobered up. His eyes were clear, yet it looked like he had been crying, too.

“This makes me so happy,” Harry told him honestly.

“I know,” Draco responded quietly. He didn’t meet Harry's eyes, and he seemed to be still struggling over something.

“You’re still not happy with this, are you?” Harry said.

Draco shook his head. “No, I’m certain about my choice.”

“Then what is it?” Harry asked.

Draco shook his head again and gave Harry a small smile. “Nothing, love,” he said. “There’s nothing for you to worry about, alright?”

Harry still wasn’t convinced, but he let it slide for now. Draco smiled again and gave Harry a kiss on the mouth.

“I do have to know,” Harry hesitated.

“Yes?”

“What changed your mind?”

Draco pulled away and walked over to the edge of the roof. Leaning on the wall as Harry had done before him, he tilted his head back, closing his eyes as a sudden gust of wind blew, dancing through his hair. Harry watched him with soft eyes.

“It was something you said,” Draco admitted. He swept his windblown hair out of his eyes. “That being a parent is one of the most important things a person can do with their lives.” He looked over at Harry. “Do you truly believe that?”

“Yes,” Harry answered, without any hesitation.

“I think you’re probably right,” Draco nodded. “You never knew your parents, and mine, at least my father, left something to be desired.”

Harry didn’t trust himself to speak. He didn’t know why, but whenever he heard mention of Lucius Malfoy, he became very angry. He despised the man maybe even more than he despised Voldemort. That was hard to imagine, but true.

“Even my mother,” Draco continued. “She meant well, I suppose, but I was more of a doll to her than a son. Something pretty to look at, but not actually real. But she was still my mother. She died for me. That was the first time she had ever defended me against my father.” Draco trailed off, looking out at the street. “This baby is something special.” He feathered his fingers over his stomach. “I understand that now. I know I haven’t given you a lot, Harry. You’re always doing so much for me. But now I can give something back to you.”

“I don’t want you to do this because you feel like you owe me favors,” Harry told him seriously, “because you don’t. I want you to do this because you want it, too.” Harry couldn’t believe he was actually arguing against keeping the baby. Then again, it wasn’t against the baby. It was for Draco. Harry only hoped that included their baby.

“I do want this, Harry,” Draco promised, giving Harry’s hand a little squeeze. “I want you to become a father.”

“Draco,” Harry said suddenly. “I’m sorry for what I said.” Draco looked at him oddly. “About killing yourself. I didn’t mean it. I would never want you to hurt yourself. I would never want you to die. You know that, right?” Something Harry had yelled a long time ago abruptly flashed through his mind.

You wanna die? That’s fine with me! Just do it where I don’t have to see it!

Harry tried to shake his horrible words from his head. He wanted to erase those words from his memory. But it wasn’t easy. He wondered if Draco even remembered that Harry had said that.

Draco considered Harry for a moment before responding. “I know, Harry.”

Harry sighed. He couldn’t help but feel dreadful about what he had said, then and now. They really were rather awful things to say.

“Harry?” Harry looked over at Draco. “I think we should go to the hospital. We need to make sure I didn’t…didn’t do any damage.”

It was strange that it was Draco who suggested going to the hospital, after the fuss he had made about going the time before. “Alright,” Harry said. “Err, did you do something else that I need to know about?” This was starting to worry him now.

“No,” Draco answered. Harry knew that kind of "no". It was the "no" that really meant yes.

“Draco,” Harry started, but Draco cut him short.

“Can we just go, Harry, please?” Draco said urgently, wringing his hands. He appeared to be close to tears, and he was looking around wildly. Harry was taken aback by this sudden insistence. Harry wasn’t really good at dealing with people in a panic. The alarm would just rub off on him, too. And he was rather useless after that.

Harry willed himself to calm down. This was for Draco. Two distressed people wouldn’t do any good. Harry tried to smile in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

“Love, you need to calm down,” Harry soothed. “Being so upset isn’t good for the baby.”

If Harry had thought that would have helped, he was sadly mistaken. Draco gave a little whimper and then broke down, putting his hands to his face and sobbing. Harry was shocked into stillness for a moment. What the hell?

“I’ve killed it!” Draco cried through his hands. “I’ve killed our baby! I just know it! You said I would kill it, and you were right!”

That got Harry into motion. In quick strides he was next to Draco in an instant, putting his arm around him and Apparating them both into the hospital. Utter chaos broke out the moment they landed. The receptionists must have been warned about Harry and Draco, for they were immediately escorted into the back room. Healers were running frantically around them as Draco moaned and cried. Harry made his best attempt to quiet Draco down, but it was all in vain. Draco wasn’t about to stop crying anytime soon.

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco in an attempt to hold him still. Draco was shaking like mad. Harry would never tell Draco how afraid he was at that moment. To be completely honest, he couldn’t remember the last time he had been so scared.

“Mr. Malfoy, we need you to lie down,” said one of the Healers. Draco didn’t comply. He kept shaking his head. “Mr. Potter, please try to get him to lie down.”

Harry pushed Draco on the chest, in an attempt to get him to lie down on the examination table. Draco struggled a little and kept crying, but overall he didn’t put up too much of a fight. He was hyperventilating, but he appeared to be trying to calm down. He had his eyes closed and was clenching the paper on the table with his fists. Tears were leaking out of the corner of his eyes.

The head Healer was suddenly in the room. The whole staff quieted down at his appearance, and they all were looking at him expectantly. Harry took Draco’s hand and stroked it with his thumb.

The head Healer sighed, shaking his head. “It’s never a dull moment with the pair of you, is it?” he chuckled. Harry wondered how he could appear cheerful at a time like this. Though really, it did make sense why the Healer would need to put up such a front in a hospital.

“Well, then, gentlemen,” the head Healer said. “What seems to be the trouble?” It was apparent from his tone and overall attitude that he thought Harry and Draco were being paranoid. Harry sincerely hoped that was the case.

“Well,” Harry started, with a sideways look at Draco. “We had a little dispute.” Harry was struggling to find words to describe what had happened. The Healer wasn’t paying much attention to him. He was bent over Draco and casting a series of spells. Harry wondered if he should continue speaking, or wait for the Healer to acknowledge him again. The other Healers were watching in rapt attention, and Harry suddenly wished that they weren’t there. He didn’t like Draco being part of a student demonstration.

The Healer straightened up and smiled at them. “There is nothing wrong with the baby,” he told them. Harry breathed a sigh of relief, while Draco burst into a fresh bout of tears. “May I ask what caused this crisis?”

“I…I…” Draco hiccupped. He raised his wide grey eyes to Harry, as if he was apologizing in advance for what he was about to say. “I took a shot of alcohol.”

“I see. What kind?”

“Firewhisky,’ Draco whispered.

“Just one shot?”

“Yes.”

“I see,” the Healer said again. He gave Draco a very stern, very disapproving look. “While that was not the wisest of choices, Mr. Malfoy, there has been no lasting damage.” The Healer made a few notes in his file. The other Healers were doing the same in their own files. “I would advise against doing something like that again in the future. We were lucky this time. However, next time we may not be so fortunate.”

Draco hung his head, tears leaking out of his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

Harry stared at Draco, lost for words. He was that drunk off of only one shot? And Harry considered himself a lightweight.

“As for the change in your mood and temperament, it is only to be expected,” the Healer continued. “Because of the pregnancy, you now have many hormones that you didn’t have before. Female hormones, in fact. Which may account for your new tendency to, how should I put it, act like a girl. This is normal, and nothing you should be ashamed of.”

Harry wondered how the Healer knew that was one of their concerns. Neither Harry nor Draco had mentioned anything about Draco's change in disposition. Though, Harry supposed it was pretty obvious, with Draco becoming a human tap.

“In the up and coming months, you will go through a whole array of emotions. They may feel foreign and even uncomfortable to you, but again, these emotions are completely normal.”

Great, Harry thought to himself. Draco had been crazy enough not being pregnant.

“Errr,” Harry said. “I have a question…” he trailed off. This was so mortifying. Especially in front of so many strangers. It wouldn’t have been too horrible if it had just been Harry, Draco and the Head Healer. It would still have been plenty embarrassing, though.

“Yes?” the Healer inquired politely.

Harry glanced at their audience before answering. “When, err, the baby comes…how is it going to get out of Draco? He’s not going to really turn into a girl, is he?” At this question, Draco shot Harry a revolted glare, which made Harry blush. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw one of the Healers lift their hand to their mouth as if trying not to laugh.

“Ah, when that time comes, the baby will be surgically removed out of Draco.”

Harry heaved a huge sigh of relief. Harry didn’t think he would have been able to handle Draco turning into a girl.  Not that there was anything wrong with girls. It was just Draco was enough trouble as a boy. As a girl he would be…well, Harry didn’t want to think of it. Harry shuddered. That truly was a scary thought. Draco as a girl.

Harry looked up to see Draco eyeing him suspiciously.  Harry gave Draco a nervous smile, which Draco didn’t return. He merely sniffed and looked away.

“Do you have any more questions for me?” the head Healer asked.  Harry shook his head and looked at Draco. Draco seemed to be considering for a moment.

“Yes,” Draco said. He appeared unconcerned about their observers. “When will we know the gender?”

“Ah, well in Muggle women, they usually don’t know until about five months, but with magic we can tell earlier than that,” the Healer explained.

Draco waited, not so patiently. The Healer didn’t continue. “Well?” Draco snapped. “What is it? A girl or a boy?”

Harry suddenly realized that he had been holding his breath. He let it out slowly.

“We don’t know that yet. We may have to wait five months, like Muggles.” Draco made a noise in his throat that suggested his deep aversion. “Or we may not know until the baby is actually born.” Draco sniffed again and folded his arms. “It is possible that we’ll know sooner,” the Healer added brightly.

“That’s bloody fantastic,” Draco said sulkily.

“Errr,” Harry stuttered. “How far along is Draco?”

“About three months now,” the Healer said happily. “And he’s doing quite well.” Draco gave them both a spiteful look and then straightened the cuffs of his shirt.

Harry was a little surprised that Draco was so far into the pregnancy. He had expected that Draco was only a few weeks along. Maybe a month at most. How could they have not known for so long? Draco wasn’t showing very much, for being three months. Harry remembered when Tonks was pregnant. She seemed to be pregnant from day one. Though Draco was naturally thin, that probably had something to do with it. Harry suddenly wondered how Remus and Tonks were doing. He hadn’t spoken with them in ages. He figured he ought to let them in on what was happening. Ron and Hermione, too, for that matter.

“Do have any more questions for me?” The Healer’s voice cut into Harry’s thoughts. Harry looked up and shook his head.

Taking that as his cue, Draco jumped down from the table. Harry looked him up and down. He appeared slightly bedraggled, though he seemed to be trying his best to redeem his composure. Once a Malfoy, always a Malfoy, Harry supposed.  Harry grinned at this thought and took Draco by the arm. Together they Apparated back to their flat. Draco immediately collapsed onto the couch. He laid his arm across his eyes, settling back. Harry sat down beside him uneasily. Draco paid him no attention.

“Would you like a cup of tea?” Harry offered.

“No thank you,” Draco answered stiffly.

“Errr, Draco?”

“What is it now?” Draco snapped.

“Nothing,” Harry said quickly.

Draco sighed. “I’m sorry,” he apologized; he truly sounded like he was sorry, too. “I don’t mean to snap.”

Harry nodded and slid his arm around Draco. Draco sighed again, admitting defeat, and leaned against Harry, nuzzling into the crook of Harry’s neck. There were a lot of things Harry wanted to say to Draco at that moment. Words of comfort and praise. Understanding of the situation he was in. How there was no way that he, Harry, could fully comprehend. But he let all of the words go. Words weren’t half as important, anyway. Harry kissed Draco on the forehead and pulled him closer. They ended up falling asleep just like that, unaware of how much more complicated their lives had just become.