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Title: The Recovery Boys Part XVI
Author: Ruby13b
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: R
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Content

Summary: The war is over...OK, now what? Harry Potter feels like he can really start living life! While one Draco Malfoy is about to give up on it after losing almost everything. Can these two lonely boys find salvation? Together? In each other?

***This is a Harry/Draco fanfiction, meaning boy/boy. If you don't like, don't read. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: I own nothing and am owned by no one.

Draco woke before Harry the next morning. The side of his face hurt pretty badly and he eased himself up and out of bed. Harry shifted slightly from the motion, but slept on. Draco staggered to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and braced both of his hands on either side of the sink. He closed his eyes. He wanted to look into the mirror in front of him, but he really didn't want to. He was frightened of what he would see.

"Just do it," he told himself under his breath. "Just look up. It might not be so bad."

Slowly Draco raised his head, opening his eyes. The orange-goo was still there and it covered most of Draco's face. Because of that, Draco was unable to see the burn. Draco sighed, sinking down against the wall. This sucked. And what was even worse was Bellatrix and the rest of the Death Eaters had gotten away. Draco knew that he hadn't seen the last of them. They would be back. And next time Harry and Draco might not be so lucky. Yes, he considered himself lucky, to have escaped with his life. And Harry, too. That was a rare thing, indeed. Draco didn't think that anyone Bellatrix had decided to kill right then and there had ever gotten away before. Draco shuddered and wrapped his arms around his middle. Would he ever be able to live without fear? How did Harry do it? How did he always manage to stay so cheerful when there were so many people that wanted to see him dead? Draco just couldn't understand. Maybe he was just weak. He was always relying on someone else. First it had been his parents, then it had been Crabbe and Goyle, and now finally it was Harry. He really was weak. He couldn't even fend for himself. Oh sure, he could run his mouth just fine. But he couldn't back up what he said. No wonder he was jaded.

Draco also missed his home. He missed the manor. He had grown up there. How could he not miss it? Horrible things had happened there, yes. But not all of it had been bad. His parents had been too busy with their lives to really keep an eye on him, but that had been alright. Draco had spent most of his days outside. There was a creek a little ways behind the house and Draco used to play in the water. For some reason he would sometimes pretend he was a lion. Lost and abandoned by the others and trying to fend for himself in the wilderness.

Draco smiled at the memory. It was rather bittersweet. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away. Must he really cry about everything?

There was a sudden knock at the door, accompanied by a voice calling, "Draco?" Harry must be up. "Draco? Are you in there?" Harry's voice was a little husky from having just woken up.

"Yes," Draco squeaked. Great, he was no longer a boy, he was a mouse.

Harry opened the door and spotted Draco on the floor. "What are you doing in here, Dray?" Harry asked, kneeling beside Draco. "You ought to be in bed." It was still raining outside and the lack of sunlight made the bathroom dark and depressing. "Is it still raining?" Harry asked, looking out the window.

"Of course it is," Draco replied sullenly. "It's been raining all night. Why would it stop now?"

Harry raised an eyebrow at him. "Is someone feeling better?" he asked.

"Hardly," Draco responded.

"Come on, you. Back to bed," Harry said, trying to pull Draco up.

"No. Too tired. Wanna sleep here," Draco whined.

Harry wasn't fazed by this in the slightest. He only began to scoop Draco up into his arms.

"Alright! Alright!" Draco squealed. "I can walk! Put me down!"

Harry chuckled and set Draco down on his feet. Draco swayed a little, but he was determined to get to the bedroom without Harry carrying him. Draco got back into bed. His mind was a jumble of confused thoughts. Harry slid into bed next to him. He took Draco's hand and kissed it.

"I guess it would be kind of stupid of me to ask if you're alright," Harry said. Draco gave him a half smile. "But really, Dray, what's on your mind? We went through a lot back there, and I think we need to talk about it."

Bollocks. Draco didn't want to talk about it. He was sick of thinking about Death Eaters and his parents. He was sick of worrying about being murdered in his sleep. He was sick of it all. It was really about the last thing he wanted to talk about at that moment. In fact, he could think of about ten other things he'd rather be doing.

"Harry, please," Draco said. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright, I'm not going to push you. But we'll have to face it eventually," Harry said. He felt just awful. Poor Draco. Harry could only imagine what he must be feeling right then. And Harry wanted to help, but he felt like he was doing nothing of the sort. Draco wasn't making it very easy. He was starting to push Harry away. Harry could feel that. And it didn't feel very good. "We can get through this, Draco," Harry told him. He hoped it wasn't a lie.

"How do you know that?" Draco asked in an almost resentful manner.

"I don't," Harry admitted, pulling Draco into his arms. Draco didn't even try to resist. How could he? Harry was his whole world. But Draco wasn't certain he could let Harry be his whole world anymore. Harry would never be safe that way. Draco knew what he had to do. Even though he was pretty much dead, no matter what he did.

"I wanna go home," Draco said. He really did, too. That wasn't a lie.

"I know, baby," Harry soothed. "I'll find a way to get your home back."

Draco shook his head. There was no way to get it back. It was lost.

Harry looked at the clock on the nightstand. It had already been over twelve hours. How long had they been asleep? It had suddenly gotten even darker outside. Could it really rain forever? Harry hoped not. He really hated the rain. The flash of lightning illuminated the bedroom. Draco shuddered. He had never liked lightning that much.

"Let's take that orange stuff off," Harry said, sitting up and pulling Draco behind him out the door.

Harry led him to the kitchen, sat him down on the stool and busied himself with getting a wet cloth. Draco stared moodily out the window. Dumb weather. It didn't make things any easier.

"Here, take this," Harry said, pushing a few white tablets and a glass of water into Draco's hands. Draco looked down at the tablets suspiciously. "It's not poison. Just take it."

"What are they?" Draco asked. He hated taking medicine. He used to hide the medicine that his parents used gave him when he was sick as a kid.

"Painkillers," Harry answered distractedly. He stopped what he was doing and looked over at Draco. "Just take it," he repeated.

Grudgingly, Draco did. It was easier just to do what he was told than to fight Harry.

"Good boy," Harry told him. Draco glared at him. Harry sighed. "I know you must hate this, baby. I'm sorry."

Draco rolled his eyes at Harry. Harry walked over to him with a wet cloth. He kissed him on the lips and began removing the orange goo. Taking it off stung, and Draco closed his eyes.

"There," Harry said, removing that last of the goo and standing back.

"Can I see?" Draco asked.

Harry nodded, disappearing. He returned moments later, carrying a small hand-held mirror with him. He handed it to Draco and stepped back, leaning against the counter. Draco examined himself in the mirror. He hadn't seen what he had looked like before. But he could only imagine. The burn looked like just a big, red, angry cut now.

"It looks loads better," Harry said cheerfully. Draco set the mirror down. It was alright, really. Harry took in the look on Draco's face and sighed. "I know this really is the worst time to do this, but I think we need to talk about what happened." Harry remembered talking about things like this right after they had happened. He had at least given Draco a night's sleep.
Draco heaved a sigh. Harry was right, it was the worst time. That was the last thing he wanted to do right now. It wasn't going to be pretty. He might as well get it over with so both he and Harry could go on with their lives.

"Draco?" Harry's voice broke into Draco's thoughts. Draco looked up at him. This wasn't going to be easy. It was never going to be easy. Draco had come to that conclusion ages ago. No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, it didn't make a difference. After thinking about it for some time, Draco had come to two conclusions. He was pathetic and he was going to Hell.

"What do you want to know?" Draco asked.

Harry hesitated. Come to think of it, he didn't know. He hadn't thought of any questions to ask Draco. To be completely honest, Harry had thought that it would take more work than this to get Draco to talk.

"Errrrrr..." Harry stuttered.

"Yes?" Draco said in an infuriatingly calm manner.

"What was the 'plan' Bellatrix was talking about?" Harry asked.

"To get to you," Draco stated simply.

Harry waited for Draco to elaborate. Draco said nothing else.

"And?" Harry asked impatiently.

"There's nothing else."

"Could you at least tell me some details and specifics?" Harry said.

Draco was silent for a few moments before he began to speak. "Alright. I was ordered to get close to you in order to lead you to the Manor where Bellatrix and the rest of the Death Eaters were hiding out. This was an elaborate scheme Bellatrix cooked up in case everything did not go according to plan at Hogwarts. Which it didn't. I was supposed to save one of your friends at some point in the attempt, to gain their gratitude, and in turn, yours. There was only one problem. My family. My parents. My father in particular. He had other plans and ideas for me. I guess it's funny now, both my father and Bellatrix assumed that I was on their side. When in reality, I was on neither side. I was on my own side. I was trapped. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, if you will. I could think of only one way out. "

Harry tired to remain calm as Draco was speaking. He tried not to think of anything. He tried to remain silent. But he could feel the anger beginning to bubble and boil inside of him. He kept his face blank and expressionless as Draco continued.

"I was going to run away. I know that is a coward's way out. But I'm not like you, Harry. I'm not brave or strong. But I am smart, and I know when I'm in a desperate situation. Naturally, my father caught me trying to make a run for it. He was furious and held me at wand point. I don't know if he actually intended to kill me. But my mother seemed to think he would, and she stepped in front of me. She wouldn't move when he told her to, so he killed her. No warning. Just a flash of green light and she was dead. At that moment I could feel my world fall apart. My father was about to say something else when we got the 'call to arms', I guess you could call it. We immediately Apparated into Hogsmeade and headed towards the castle. The rest, I guess, you know."

Harry remained silent. He didn't trust himself to speak. He didn't know why he was so angry.

"If that's all you want to know, I'm going back to bed," Draco sneered, and made to leave the room. Harry caught him by the arm.

"You're not running away from this one," Harry growled.

Draco glared at him. "Is there something else you want to know?"

"Yes! What happened to your father?"

"He died. Any other stupid questions?" Draco mocked.

"You know what I'm asking. How did he die?"

"I don't know," Draco spit.

"That's a lie!" Harry yelled. "That's a lie and you know it! It's always the same thing with you! More secrets! More lies! When have you ever been completely honest with me? Tell me, Draco, are you even telling me the truth when you say you love me?"

Draco stared at Harry in shock. But then his expression suddenly become dark. "I killed him!" Draco said, pulling himself out of Harry's grasp. "I didn't even use my wand. I just kept hitting him until he didn't move anymore!"

Harry felt all of his conviction slip away.

"And for your information," Draco continued. "I never lied to you."

"Concealing the truth is lying!" Harry insisted, feeling himself growing warm with anger once more.

"If that's the way you feel, that I always lie to you, then maybe I should leave!" Draco said.

"You know where the door is!" Harry told him.

"Have a nice life, Potter," Draco sneered.

Draco was out the door faster then anyone could say Quidditch. The rain beat at the windows and the wind howled. Harry was left standing alone in the kitchen.