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Warning: This Post Has Now Been Outdated & Has Been Modified Which Can Be Found Here: My Life Since 2021 (Story In Description) Part 1/2 However If You Do Wish To Continue, Please Prepare Yourself For An Absolutely Diabolical Creation I Will Forever Regret... Disclaimer: Explicit Language & Very Depressing Topics Ahead. This Is Also Going To Be VERY Long. Viewer Discretion Is Advised. *sigh* Sometimes I Think About This. How One Moment I Was Ontop Of It All, & Had Everything I've Ever Wanted...Now I Lay Here In My Bed, All Alone, With No One To Help Me, At All. Today, Is Valentines Day 2022, & I Figured That Instead Of Promising The Massive Update Post Releasing Anytime Soon, I'm Going To Get The One Thing Out Into The World, If It Hasn't Already Been Revealed...My Depression. I'm Tired Of Hiding The Truth, So I Think This Locked Box Of Emotions Needs To Be Opened Up. I'm Going To Explain Why 2021, Was The Worst Year Of My Life. 1. ...LuMusic8/Lucyshine God...Here We Fucking Go. So For Those Of You Who Don't Know, Around The Beginning Of Last Year, (January 18th, 2021) I Met This Person On DA (LuMusic8) After Responding To One Of Her Deviations That Intrigued Me. (Not Anymore It Fuckin' Does.) But Right After I Submitted My Questions, She Responded Right Away. So Then I Ask More Questions, & Then From There, We End Up On DA Chat. Throughout February - March, We Got Into A Few Short/Long Conversations Talking About Our Lives, As We Were Being Good Friends. But Around The End Of March, That's When Our Friendship Started Increasing A Lot More. She Told Me That She Loved Me As A Best Friend, But Always Kept Sending Hearts & Kiss Emojis. I (Being The Fucking Idiot) Was Oblivious To All Of This & Thought It Was Nothing Romantic At All. However, Once April Hit, That's When Shit Got Real, Cause On April 7th, 2021, After A HORRIBLE Mistake, It Led To Us Confessing, Which Made Us A Couple. Apparently, She Loved Me From The Start, & I Won't Lie, I Did Too. But I Guess We Were Both Too Dumb To Realize This, But Whatever. Cause Hey, We Were Finally Together, & Throughout The Rest Of April, & Almost All Of May, Everything Was Perfect....................Until June... June 3rd, All My Happiness...Was Now Half That, Half Depression, But I'll Explain That Part Later, As THAT Doesn't Apply To Her, But Someone Else. But Once I Told Her I Felt That Way, It Woke Me Up, & Got Me Away From The One Who I Thought Would Be There The Most, But Wasn't. So I Mainly Payed All My Attention, To Lucyshine...Fucking June 8th. The First Incident Happens. Yes, FIRST. So I Don't Recall What Time This Happened, But Apparently, LuMusic8 Entered A Drawing Contest For Money. But Unfortunately, She Didn't Have The Courage To Continue As She Was Afraid She'd Lose To Someone. (That Does Art That's WAY Fucking Better Than How This Bitch "Draws" Art.) Yeah, As Soon As She Entered, She IMMEDIATELY Backed Out. Scared That She Wouldn't Win. Then She Says Something That Resulted In Me Saying Something So Simple, Yet Somehow Offensive: "Ok.". That's All I Said, No Long Sentence, No Cursing, Just A Simple & Easy, "Ok". But For Some Unnecessary Reason, That Resulted Into Her Having An Episode Of Her Own That Night, Saying How I Was A "Traitor", Because I "Hurt" Her. (Yeah Says The One That Hurt Me.) So Then The Next Day Arrives, She Tells Me How She Felt. & It Resulted With Both Of Us Feeling Sad As I (Being An Idiot) Believed Her Lie & Wanted To Help Her, Even Though I Couldn't. If I Haven't Brought This Up Yet, She Lived In Spain, Which Was Like 6 Hours Or So From Where I Live. So You Can Guess That A Lot Of Obstacles Came Our Way. However We Would Usually Get Through Them...Except For One. But I'll Save That For The Second To Last. So Rest Of June, After That First Incident, Nothing Else Bad Happened Between Me & Lucy, But Her & Her Family Was A HUGE Problem. However I Made Sure I Was There For Her, The Whole Time. But Then July Hit, & This Was When Everything Crumbled. Literally The 2nd Of July, Featured A Moment That Made Me Wanna Fucking Jump Off A Cliff. So We Were Chatting About How She Wants To Do Amazing At School So She Can Get Rich, Or Some Bullshit Like That. But Then All Of A Sudden, She Starts Complaining That Because She Isn't American, She Won't Be Accepted By Anyone In The US. (Fucking Really?) Anyway, I Told Her Something That Tried To Help Her Calm Down, But She Started Lashing Out At Me, & Mistook It As An Insult, Which Resulted In Her Getting Sad At Me. (Again.) I Desperately Tried To Fix The Situation, But She Just Wouldn't Stop, & Ended Up Being Petty & Not Listening To Anything I Was Reconciling. But It Was Later That Night, That Really Ruined Her, Because Of, You Guessed It, Her Damn Family. But Now, Let's Talk About Something That Happened, Prior & After Me & Lucy Became A Couple. So This Was Back In March. Me & Lucy Were Just Friends, & I Go To The "Newest" Page Of "It's (Not) Your Fault" That JaviSuzumiya Released, & I Go Straight For The Comments. Why? Because Sometimes It's Fun(ish) To Read Them. But I Wasn't Expecting To See LuMusic8 In The Comments Section, Talking About How A Moment That Only Patreon Users Knew About, Was Leaked. So Then I Investigate, & Find Out This Son Of A Bitch Leaking Javi's Comic. And As Soon As I Find Out, I Go Straight To JaviSuzumiya & Tell Him Some Fucker Was Leaking His Work. Then, Javi Tells Me That The Leaker Was Banned From His Patreon, Making Me, A Hero....At Least That's How Lucy Put It. Because Right After June 3rd, But Before June 8th, After We Got Done Watching Owl House Together, (Which Is Something For Another Time) Lucy Starts Feeling Upset Towards Me, & She Wouldn't Say Why, Until I Finally Convinced Her With My Way Of Feeling Comfortable Telling Me, With Words. (Since I Couldn't Hug Her, Not That I'd Want To Now.) Anyway, Once I Find Out Why, I Tell Her I'm Sorry. But In My Mind, I'm Like: "What The Fuck?". Because This Is Basically What She Said: She Was The One Who Knew About It, & SHE Wanted To Be The One To Tell Javi About The Leaker. But Because She Didn't Have A Patreon, Or Any Other Real Way To Get His Attention, I Was The One To Stop The Leaker, Which Resulted In Lucy Calling Me A Hero, Which She Hated. If Anyone Is Losing Brain Cells While Reading This, I Personally Don't Blame You, As ALL OF THIS, Is Fucking Pathetic & Unfair. But Now...NOW, Time For The Moment I've Been Waiting To Tell For SO FUCKING LONG...The Breakup. So, After All The Ordeals & Make-Ups, What Was It That Destroyed Everything? One Word: Discord. On July 13th, Both Of Us Were Feeling Sad, & She Promised Me Something She'd Do For Me That Really Made Me Happy, But I'm Not Saying What It Is Because Not Every Single Moment Will Be Told. As A Vast Majority Of Us Together Is All The Lovey Dovy Bullshit. It's Bullshit, Because It Was All Invalid, A Void. And Here's Why... She Then Tells Me That She Was Told To Download Discord & Talk To Some Of The Spanish LH Fans. I Was Completely Fine With This, As You Shouldn't Have Permission To Talk To Other People/Friends...But Doing That Is Like (And This Has No Relation To Me In The Slightest) Letting Your Best Friend Hang Out With Your Crush. They Get Together, & You're Filled With Nothing But Regret. Regret, Is How I Can Describe This Mess, So Let's Continue. July 14th Arrives, & She Tells Me That Being On Discord Was Great, & I Still Think Everything Is Fine...Until The 15th & 16th, As That's When We Start Talking Much Less Than Usual, Which Started To Worry Me. Then July 17th, That's When I Knew, Something Was Wrong. So I Plan On Saving This Part For Last, But All I'll Say Is That She Has A Comic Of Her Own. (That Took So Fucking Long To Actually Release.) And When The First Page Released, She Did A English & Spanish Version...And Shortly After, She Deleted The English Version & Then Reuploaded It. Why? Because She Was Afraid, That It Would Release At A Bad Time/Wouldn't Get Any Attention. (Even Though It Doesn't Deserve ANY Sort Of Watch At All.) Oh, & Someone Was Making Her Sad On Discord. I Swear To God, She Played The Victim Towards Literally Everyone She Ever Knew. Now I Bet You're Wondering, What Was I Doing When All This Happened? Wanting Attention. I Wanted To Have A Conversation With Her Like We Always Did. But She Was Too Distracted By That Fucking Platform. I Tried To Help Her With The Comic, But I Didn't Give A Shit About Anyone On The Discord Server She Was On. I Just Wanted To Talk To My Lucyshine Again. But...It Turns Out, There Was Something She Kept From Me That She Didn't Like, & It Had To Do With Our Random Separation. She Was Upset, Because Of How Far Away We Were, & She Could Not Handle Her Toxic Family. Yes, The Reason She Didn't Wanna Talk To Her Significant Other, Was Because Of Our Distance...WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!?!?! And Then Next Thing I Know, She Watches The 2 New Luna Episodes...WITHOUT ME! EVEN THOUGH SHE FUCKING PROMISED TO REACT TO THEM, WITH ME!!! So I DID Call Her Out On That, But She Didn't Seem To Care, As It Seemed Like She Started Hiding Herself Away From Me. So I Do Something, That I Thought Would Work...I Make A Long Speech, About How She Can Solve The Current Situation She Was In, & That Everything Could Go Back To Normal. ...I Knew She Was Gone. The Lucy That I Loved, Vanished, Because She DIDN'T EVEN READ THE FUCKING MESSAGE!!! And Then, The Worst Thing Happens...She Tells Me, (I SHIT YOU NOT) She Wanted To Breakup With Me, Because...She Had A Bad Day. ...FUCKING PETTY IGNORANT CUNT LIKE BITCH!!!!!!!!! And OF COURSE I Tell Her She's Making A HUGE Mistake...But Unfortunately, On July 22nd... She Breaks Up With Me. She Still Wanted To Be Friends With Me, But I Couldn't Bare. I Didn't Want To Be Friends With An Ex. So I Left From Our Messages For The Rest Of That Day, Completely Devastated & Furious About How Much Of A Fucking Liar & Manipulator She Was. So She Gets Me Out Of Her Life, As I Try To Convince Her That Everything She's Thinking Is 100% WRONG, But She Couldn't Handle Having A Boyfriend Without Her Parents Permission. So Then My Depression Level Increases Tremendously, As Now...I Was All Alone. But After A Few Days, I Do Start Feeling A Tiny Bit Better. However, Once August Came, I Completely Got Over Her. But Then, Somewhere In The Middle Of The Month, She Responds Back To Me, Telling Me That She Started Hating On The Loud House & Luna Loud, Because Of (You Fucking Guessed It) Me. Oh, & Before I Forget, On July 9th, I Literally Wanted To Tell Her, "Fuck You". Because She Made Fun Of Me, For Not Understanding Something She Said. Even Though, I Think What She Said, Was Completely Wrong. I'm Not Even Gonna Say What It Is, But That Was Probably The First Time I Got Mad At Her. Anyway, I FINALLY Call Her Out For Her Misdeeds & Manipulations, But She Says None Of This Is Her Fault. So Then She Tells Me To Delete All Our Texts/Images, Which I Gladly Accept, As I Was So Done With Her Bullshit. So, Now That That's Over, Let's Go Over, That Comic. More Specifically, Her Dumb Creation: Maya Michaels/Mayuna. *groan* Olivia Rodrigo. Or As I Call Her, Olivia Cuntrigo. That's What Maya Is, But Just In A Loud House Form. She Goes On & Becomes The Girlfriend, Of Luna Loud, After Sam & Lincoln Fall In Love & Have A Kid, Lina. Sound Familiar? Well It Should, Because It's VERY Similar To "It's (Not) Your Fault, But With A Self Insertion Of Her OC, & Changing Up A Few Story Elements. Simply Put, What Happens To Luna After Lincoln & Sam Become A Couple. This Is How She Described It, & I (Being A Blind Dumbass) Accepted Her Own Version Of This Story & Was Looking Foward To It's Release...That She Deleted & Then Reuploaded. (Not The Whole Comic, Just The First Page.) Now I Won't Say Too Much, But What I WILL Say, Is Maya...Is Lucy, But In A LH Form. She Ends Up With Luna, In This Fake & Fucking Stupid As Shit Story. TBH, I'd Rather See Luna End Up Alone, Than Be With This Pathetic Waste Of Space. Actually, Speaking Of Javi, Let Me Reiterate When I Said Her "Art" Before. Because What It Actually Is, Is The Loud House, In JaviSuzumiya's Style. So LuMusic8 Is Essentially Stealing Javi's Work, By Doing Her "Art" In HIS Style. What A Bitch. Oh, & One Last Thing, Remember That Leaker I Talked About? Well Apparently, That Motherfucker, Was Her (Before April 7th) Boyfriend. YES, THAT DUMB FUCKING IDIOT, WAS HER'S FIRST!!! But What Happened? She Told Me That She Was Telling Him She Loved Him, When She Really Didn't, & Was Only Pretending, Because He Did The Ol', "If You Leave Me, I'll Kill Myself." Card. ANYONE THAT DOES THIS, IS FUCKING RETARDED & DESERVES TO EAT SHIT!!!!! So I Helped Her Break Up With Him, After We Became A Couple. Because Around April, Was When She Really Wanted To Confess, But Just Couldn't. But After We Did, I Helped Her Get Away From Him, & He Ended Up Feeling Depressed, But Didn't Wanna Die, Thank God. I'll Be Honest, I Don't Blame You If You Aren't Still With Me On This, Because Everything I Am Saying, IS THE ACTUAL TRUTH. All These Promises Turned To Lies, Petty Things Repeated Over & Over Again, & Ended Up Being Betrayed, By The One I Thought Would Always Be There For Me...When I Was Wrong, Dead Fucking Wrong. So Now, I Have This To Say. One Last Message... LuMusic8/Lucy/Lucyshine... YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING "GIRLFRIEND" EVER, YOU ALWAYS BIT THE HAND THAT FED YOU, (AS IN ME TRYING TO HELP YOU), YOU ALWAYS PLAYED THE FUCKING VICTIM & PUT THE BLAME ON ME FOR EVERYTHING, YOU ALSO MADE ME FEEL LIKE AN OBLIVIOUS DUMBASS, WHICH FORCED ME TO MAKE HORRIBLE DECISIONS, YOU LIED TO ME STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR TEETH, & Most Of All, The Reason Why You Broke Up With Me. You Are Fucking Scum. I Fucking Hate Everything About You, & I Don't Think Any Guy Would Wanna Be With A Petty Little Cunt Like You! And On June 9th, You Called Me A Traitor...WELL GUESS WHO'S THE TRAITOR NOW!!! FUCK YOU LUCY! FUCK, YOU!!!!! Never, Ever, Speak To Me, EVER, Again. *breathes* And That, Is The Story, Of How One Decision, Can Lead To Something Unforgivable. Now DO NOT Give Her Bad Comments Or Any Death Threats. I Don't Tolerate That Shit. But Please Don't Think Of Her As A Saint, Because She Is WAY FUCKING FAR FROM ONE. But I Do Hope She Grows Up & Actually Realizes What She's Doing Is Wrong. She Needs To Be Logical, & Accept What's Actually Real. Oh You Thought I'm Done? GUESS WHAT, THERE'S MORE! Let's Discuss, Him. 2. My Ex-Best Friend I'll Say RN, This Won't Be As Long As The "Love" Story, But Still Quite Lengthy. So Let's Begin. As Previously Mentioned, June 3rd Resulted In Me Having Half Happiness, Half Depression. Why? Because That Was The Day, I Lost My Best Friend. NOT IN A DEATH WAY, But As A Betrayal. To Explain All Of This, Let's Jump Back To 2018, When We First Started Getting Into The Loud House. He Had A HUGE Obsession With A LH Character That I Fucking Despise, & I Also Had A Somewhat Attraction Towards Another LH Character. (You Can Probably Guess Who.) So For Some Reason, He Decides To Start Doing An RP In Real Life. For Those Who Don't Know, An RP/Roleplay Is Pretending To Be Characters Your Not & Act As If You Were In Control Of The Character Instead. What He Decided To Do, Was A Real Life Version. As If They Were In Real Life With Us. And For The Most Part, It Was Actually Rather Fun. Being Able To Create My Own Stories With Characters I Adored. Until I Realized...I Was Being Held Back, By Him. In 2021, That Was When Me & Lucy Met, & Eventually Became A Couple. But While All This Was Happening, I Was Still Doing His Fake Little World, As If It Were The World That He Wanted. On June 3rd, I Finally Awoke To The Truth, Thanks To Lucy. This Motherfucker, Was Preventing Me, From Moving On Into The Real World. He Wanted Me To Be Fake, Not Real. And As Soon As It Hit Me, My Heart Stopped. After Almost 4 Years Of Being Best Friends...I Find Out It Was All A Void. He Didn't Wanna Enter The Real World, He Wanted To Live In His Little Fantasy World. And He Wanted Me To Stay With Him. But That Wasn't Happening, So I Tried To Completely End This Fairytale Once & For All, But He Wouldn't. So Once July Hit, He Was Doing RP, Not Me. Which Also Meant, That We Never Really Chatted. And At The End Of August, I Just Left. Never Even Told Him Why, Just Abandoned His Stupid Ass. And With The Entire Ordeal Of Me & Lucy Happening As Well, You Can Bet I Was In Hell. (Hey That Rhymed.) So Right At The Ass End Of August, I Was Alone. I Had No One. But For Some Reason, I Still Had Hope. 3. College/Friend Fall 2021 Was Approaching & I Was Getting Myself Ready For A Brand New Semester...What A Mistake That Was. Because On The First & (Mainly) 2nd Day Of The Semester, It Felt Like I Fell Right Into A Trap Of Despair. The Work Was WAY To Intense, The Professor's Weren't The Best, & Worst Of All, I Wasn't Meeting Anyone Of My Interest... And Then I Got Covid-19. But That's Not What I Wanna Go Into. Instead, The 2nd To Last Day Of September. That Was When I Met, A Friend. I Won't Say Exactly How We Met, But All I'll Say, Is That We Started Talking, & Then Eventually Became Friends. This Made Me Think Something Good Would Actually Happen For Me...But I Guess That Wasn't The Case. Because Literally A Few Days Later...She Tells Me That She Doesn't Wanna Be Friends Anymore, As She Doesn't Want To Have A Friend At All, & Would Rather Be Alone. And That Was It. That Was The End Of Everything. Which Perfectly Transitions To What I've Also Wanted To Get Out Into The Open... 4. My Depression/Disorders ...I'm Not Ok. I Have Not Been Ok Since June 3rd. Sure I Still Kept Some Sort Of Happy Emotion, But Right When College Hit, & That "Friend", Every Bit Of Joy Inside Of Me, Fucking Died, Leaving Me Dead Inside. And I Announced That On November 1st. But On The 20th Of Said Month, I Discovered I Had Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar 2 To Be Exact. And It's Been Going On Since, Which Is Not Fun. It Happens About Every 3-4 Days, & Dealing With This, Is NOT Easy. What Is Bipolar Disorder? Well It's Like Mood Swings, Except They Have Their Own Schedule For You. I Mentioned Bipolar 2, But Bipolar 1 Is Much Worse. You Think Of Making TERRIBLE Decisions, & Suffer Severe Depression, But I Don't Know The Full Details. Though I Do Know This... I'm Also Proned From OCD, S.A.D./Isolation, Anxiety, Social Anxiety, (At Times) Loss Of Self Motivation, (Because Of Bipolar Disorder) &... I Just Wanna Be Loved, Why Is That So Hard? Why Can't I Just Find The Right One? Why Did Everyone I Thought I Loved Have To Betray Me? Why Did My Life Have To Literally Fucking Die?! Why?! I Can't Even Cry. I Can't Even Have A Breakdown. I Can't Even Go To Anyone, Cause No One Will Listen. No One Cares About Me. No One Likes/Loves Me. I'm Literally, Nothing. Sometimes I Don't Even Wanna Wake Up For The Day. Cause That's What Leads To Me Feeling Worse & Worse. And Something Else Worth Noting, Is That I Fucking Hate Sleep. It Is A Goddamn Waste Of Time, As I Could Do SO MUCH Throughout The Night, If I Didn't Have To Lay Down & Shut Off My Whole Body For 8 Hours. I'm Fucking Dead Inside, & I Just Can't Hide It Anymore. I'm Tired Of Holding Back, & Dealing With My "Family". Oh Yeah, I Fucking Hate My Family As Well. But Hey, It's Not Valentine's Day, Without Mentioning My Favorite Ships. The Loud House: Suna (Luna Loud X Sam Sharp) Sonic The Hedgehog: Sonamy (Sonic The Hedgehog X Amy Rose) And Brand New, Five Nights At Freddy's/Five Night's At Freddy's Security Breach: (As I Call It) Froxy (Glamrock Freddy X Roxanne Wolf) And...That's It. If You Have Actually Managed To Read Through ALL Of This, Give Yourself A Pat On The Back, Because This Was Such A Nightmare To Create. But At Least Everything Is Out In The Open Now. Now If You'll Excuse Me, I Have To Go Celebrate The 2 Year Anniversary Of The Sonic Movie, Alone.

Description
Warning: This Post Has Now Been Outdated & Has Been Modified Which Can Be Found Here: My Life Since 2021 (Story In Description) Part 1/2 However If You Do Wish To Continue, Please Prepare Yourself For An Absolutely Diabolical Creation I Will Forever Regret... Disclaimer: Explicit Language & Very Depressing Topics Ahead. This Is Also Going To Be VERY Long. Viewer Discretion Is Advised. *sigh* Sometimes I Think About This. How One Moment I Was Ontop Of It All, & Had Everything I've Ever Wanted...Now I Lay Here In My Bed, All Alone, With No One To Help Me, At All. Today, Is Valentines Day 2022, & I Figured That Instead Of Promising The Massive Update Post Releasing Anytime Soon, I'm Going To Get The One Thing Out Into The World, If It Hasn't Already Been Revealed...My Depression. I'm Tired Of Hiding The Truth, So I Think This Locked Box Of Emotions Needs To Be Opened Up. I'm Going To Explain Why 2021, Was The Worst Year Of My Life. 1. ...LuMusic8/Lucyshine God...Here We Fucking Go. So For Those Of You Who Don't Know, Around The Beginning Of Last Year, (January 18th, 2021) I Met This Person On DA (LuMusic8) After Responding To One Of Her Deviations That Intrigued Me. (Not Anymore It Fuckin' Does.) But Right After I Submitted My Questions, She Responded Right Away. So Then I Ask More Questions, & Then From There, We End Up On DA Chat. Throughout February - March, We Got Into A Few Short/Long Conversations Talking About Our Lives, As We Were Being Good Friends. But Around The End Of March, That's When Our Friendship Started Increasing A Lot More. She Told Me That She Loved Me As A Best Friend, But Always Kept Sending Hearts & Kiss Emojis. I (Being The Fucking Idiot) Was Oblivious To All Of This & Thought It Was Nothing Romantic At All. However, Once April Hit, That's When Shit Got Real, Cause On April 7th, 2021, After A HORRIBLE Mistake, It Led To Us Confessing, Which Made Us A Couple. Apparently, She Loved Me From The Start, & I Won't Lie, I Did Too. But I Guess We Were Both Too Dumb To Realize This, But Whatever. Cause Hey, We Were Finally Together, & Throughout The Rest Of April, & Almost All Of May, Everything Was Perfect....................Until June... June 3rd, All My Happiness...Was Now Half That, Half Depression, But I'll Explain That Part Later, As THAT Doesn't Apply To Her, But Someone Else. But Once I Told Her I Felt That Way, It Woke Me Up, & Got Me Away From The One Who I Thought Would Be There The Most, But Wasn't. So I Mainly Payed All My Attention, To Lucyshine...Fucking June 8th. The First Incident Happens. Yes, FIRST. So I Don't Recall What Time This Happened, But Apparently, LuMusic8 Entered A Drawing Contest For Money. But Unfortunately, She Didn't Have The Courage To Continue As She Was Afraid She'd Lose To Someone. (That Does Art That's WAY Fucking Better Than How This Bitch "Draws" Art.) Yeah, As Soon As She Entered, She IMMEDIATELY Backed Out. Scared That She Wouldn't Win. Then She Says Something That Resulted In Me Saying Something So Simple, Yet Somehow Offensive: "Ok.". That's All I Said, No Long Sentence, No Cursing, Just A Simple & Easy, "Ok". But For Some Unnecessary Reason, That Resulted Into Her Having An Episode Of Her Own That Night, Saying How I Was A "Traitor", Because I "Hurt" Her. (Yeah Says The One That Hurt Me.) So Then The Next Day Arrives, She Tells Me How She Felt. & It Resulted With Both Of Us Feeling Sad As I (Being An Idiot) Believed Her Lie & Wanted To Help Her, Even Though I Couldn't. If I Haven't Brought This Up Yet, She Lived In Spain, Which Was Like 6 Hours Or So From Where I Live. So You Can Guess That A Lot Of Obstacles Came Our Way. However We Would Usually Get Through Them...Except For One. But I'll Save That For The Second To Last. So Rest Of June, After That First Incident, Nothing Else Bad Happened Between Me & Lucy, But Her & Her Family Was A HUGE Problem. However I Made Sure I Was There For Her, The Whole Time. But Then July Hit, & This Was When Everything Crumbled. Literally The 2nd Of July, Featured A Moment That Made Me Wanna Fucking Jump Off A Cliff. So We Were Chatting About How She Wants To Do Amazing At School So She Can Get Rich, Or Some Bullshit Like That. But Then All Of A Sudden, She Starts Complaining That Because She Isn't American, She Won't Be Accepted By Anyone In The US. (Fucking Really?) Anyway, I Told Her Something That Tried To Help Her Calm Down, But She Started Lashing Out At Me, & Mistook It As An Insult, Which Resulted In Her Getting Sad At Me. (Again.) I Desperately Tried To Fix The Situation, But She Just Wouldn't Stop, & Ended Up Being Petty & Not Listening To Anything I Was Reconciling. But It Was Later That Night, That Really Ruined Her, Because Of, You Guessed It, Her Damn Family. But Now, Let's Talk About Something That Happened, Prior & After Me & Lucy Became A Couple. So This Was Back In March. Me & Lucy Were Just Friends, & I Go To The "Newest" Page Of "It's (Not) Your Fault" That JaviSuzumiya Released, & I Go Straight For The Comments. Why? Because Sometimes It's Fun(ish) To Read Them. But I Wasn't Expecting To See LuMusic8 In The Comments Section, Talking About How A Moment That Only Patreon Users Knew About, Was Leaked. So Then I Investigate, & Find Out This Son Of A Bitch Leaking Javi's Comic. And As Soon As I Find Out, I Go Straight To JaviSuzumiya & Tell Him Some Fucker Was Leaking His Work. Then, Javi Tells Me That The Leaker Was Banned From His Patreon, Making Me, A Hero....At Least That's How Lucy Put It. Because Right After June 3rd, But Before June 8th, After We Got Done Watching Owl House Together, (Which Is Something For Another Time) Lucy Starts Feeling Upset Towards Me, & She Wouldn't Say Why, Until I Finally Convinced Her With My Way Of Feeling Comfortable Telling Me, With Words. (Since I Couldn't Hug Her, Not That I'd Want To Now.) Anyway, Once I Find Out Why, I Tell Her I'm Sorry. But In My Mind, I'm Like: "What The Fuck?". Because This Is Basically What She Said: She Was The One Who Knew About It, & SHE Wanted To Be The One To Tell Javi About The Leaker. But Because She Didn't Have A Patreon, Or Any Other Real Way To Get His Attention, I Was The One To Stop The Leaker, Which Resulted In Lucy Calling Me A Hero, Which She Hated. If Anyone Is Losing Brain Cells While Reading This, I Personally Don't Blame You, As ALL OF THIS, Is Fucking Pathetic & Unfair. But Now...NOW, Time For The Moment I've Been Waiting To Tell For SO FUCKING LONG...The Breakup. So, After All The Ordeals & Make-Ups, What Was It That Destroyed Everything? One Word: Discord. On July 13th, Both Of Us Were Feeling Sad, & She Promised Me Something She'd Do For Me That Really Made Me Happy, But I'm Not Saying What It Is Because Not Every Single Moment Will Be Told. As A Vast Majority Of Us Together Is All The Lovey Dovy Bullshit. It's Bullshit, Because It Was All Invalid, A Void. And Here's Why... She Then Tells Me That She Was Told To Download Discord & Talk To Some Of The Spanish LH Fans. I Was Completely Fine With This, As You Shouldn't Have Permission To Talk To Other People/Friends...But Doing That Is Like (And This Has No Relation To Me In The Slightest) Letting Your Best Friend Hang Out With Your Crush. They Get Together, & You're Filled With Nothing But Regret. Regret, Is How I Can Describe This Mess, So Let's Continue. July 14th Arrives, & She Tells Me That Being On Discord Was Great, & I Still Think Everything Is Fine...Until The 15th & 16th, As That's When We Start Talking Much Less Than Usual, Which Started To Worry Me. Then July 17th, That's When I Knew, Something Was Wrong. So I Plan On Saving This Part For Last, But All I'll Say Is That She Has A Comic Of Her Own. (That Took So Fucking Long To Actually Release.) And When The First Page Released, She Did A English & Spanish Version...And Shortly After, She Deleted The English Version & Then Reuploaded It. Why? Because She Was Afraid, That It Would Release At A Bad Time/Wouldn't Get Any Attention. (Even Though It Doesn't Deserve ANY Sort Of Watch At All.) Oh, & Someone Was Making Her Sad On Discord. I Swear To God, She Played The Victim Towards Literally Everyone She Ever Knew. Now I Bet You're Wondering, What Was I Doing When All This Happened? Wanting Attention. I Wanted To Have A Conversation With Her Like We Always Did. But She Was Too Distracted By That Fucking Platform. I Tried To Help Her With The Comic, But I Didn't Give A Shit About Anyone On The Discord Server She Was On. I Just Wanted To Talk To My Lucyshine Again. But...It Turns Out, There Was Something She Kept From Me That She Didn't Like, & It Had To Do With Our Random Separation. She Was Upset, Because Of How Far Away We Were, & She Could Not Handle Her Toxic Family. Yes, The Reason She Didn't Wanna Talk To Her Significant Other, Was Because Of Our Distance...WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!?!?! And Then Next Thing I Know, She Watches The 2 New Luna Episodes...WITHOUT ME! EVEN THOUGH SHE FUCKING PROMISED TO REACT TO THEM, WITH ME!!! So I DID Call Her Out On That, But She Didn't Seem To Care, As It Seemed Like She Started Hiding Herself Away From Me. So I Do Something, That I Thought Would Work...I Make A Long Speech, About How She Can Solve The Current Situation She Was In, & That Everything Could Go Back To Normal. ...I Knew She Was Gone. The Lucy That I Loved, Vanished, Because She DIDN'T EVEN READ THE FUCKING MESSAGE!!! And Then, The Worst Thing Happens...She Tells Me, (I SHIT YOU NOT) She Wanted To Breakup With Me, Because...She Had A Bad Day. ...FUCKING PETTY IGNORANT CUNT LIKE BITCH!!!!!!!!! And OF COURSE I Tell Her She's Making A HUGE Mistake...But Unfortunately, On July 22nd... She Breaks Up With Me. She Still Wanted To Be Friends With Me, But I Couldn't Bare. I Didn't Want To Be Friends With An Ex. So I Left From Our Messages For The Rest Of That Day, Completely Devastated & Furious About How Much Of A Fucking Liar & Manipulator She Was. So She Gets Me Out Of Her Life, As I Try To Convince Her That Everything She's Thinking Is 100% WRONG, But She Couldn't Handle Having A Boyfriend Without Her Parents Permission. So Then My Depression Level Increases Tremendously, As Now...I Was All Alone. But After A Few Days, I Do Start Feeling A Tiny Bit Better. However, Once August Came, I Completely Got Over Her. But Then, Somewhere In The Middle Of The Month, She Responds Back To Me, Telling Me That She Started Hating On The Loud House & Luna Loud, Because Of (You Fucking Guessed It) Me. Oh, & Before I Forget, On July 9th, I Literally Wanted To Tell Her, "Fuck You". Because She Made Fun Of Me, For Not Understanding Something She Said. Even Though, I Think What She Said, Was Completely Wrong. I'm Not Even Gonna Say What It Is, But That Was Probably The First Time I Got Mad At Her. Anyway, I FINALLY Call Her Out For Her Misdeeds & Manipulations, But She Says None Of This Is Her Fault. So Then She Tells Me To Delete All Our Texts/Images, Which I Gladly Accept, As I Was So Done With Her Bullshit. So, Now That That's Over, Let's Go Over, That Comic. More Specifically, Her Dumb Creation: Maya Michaels/Mayuna. *groan* Olivia Rodrigo. Or As I Call Her, Olivia Cuntrigo. That's What Maya Is, But Just In A Loud House Form. She Goes On & Becomes The Girlfriend, Of Luna Loud, After Sam & Lincoln Fall In Love & Have A Kid, Lina. Sound Familiar? Well It Should, Because It's VERY Similar To "It's (Not) Your Fault, But With A Self Insertion Of Her OC, & Changing Up A Few Story Elements. Simply Put, What Happens To Luna After Lincoln & Sam Become A Couple. This Is How She Described It, & I (Being A Blind Dumbass) Accepted Her Own Version Of This Story & Was Looking Foward To It's Release...That She Deleted & Then Reuploaded. (Not The Whole Comic, Just The First Page.) Now I Won't Say Too Much, But What I WILL Say, Is Maya...Is Lucy, But In A LH Form. She Ends Up With Luna, In This Fake & Fucking Stupid As Shit Story. TBH, I'd Rather See Luna End Up Alone, Than Be With This Pathetic Waste Of Space. Actually, Speaking Of Javi, Let Me Reiterate When I Said Her "Art" Before. Because What It Actually Is, Is The Loud House, In JaviSuzumiya's Style. So LuMusic8 Is Essentially Stealing Javi's Work, By Doing Her "Art" In HIS Style. What A Bitch. Oh, & One Last Thing, Remember That Leaker I Talked About? Well Apparently, That Motherfucker, Was Her (Before April 7th) Boyfriend. YES, THAT DUMB FUCKING IDIOT, WAS HER'S FIRST!!! But What Happened? She Told Me That She Was Telling Him She Loved Him, When She Really Didn't, & Was Only Pretending, Because He Did The Ol', "If You Leave Me, I'll Kill Myself." Card. ANYONE THAT DOES THIS, IS FUCKING RETARDED & DESERVES TO EAT SHIT!!!!! So I Helped Her Break Up With Him, After We Became A Couple. Because Around April, Was When She Really Wanted To Confess, But Just Couldn't. But After We Did, I Helped Her Get Away From Him, & He Ended Up Feeling Depressed, But Didn't Wanna Die, Thank God. I'll Be Honest, I Don't Blame You If You Aren't Still With Me On This, Because Everything I Am Saying, IS THE ACTUAL TRUTH. All These Promises Turned To Lies, Petty Things Repeated Over & Over Again, & Ended Up Being Betrayed, By The One I Thought Would Always Be There For Me...When I Was Wrong, Dead Fucking Wrong. So Now, I Have This To Say. One Last Message... LuMusic8/Lucy/Lucyshine... YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING "GIRLFRIEND" EVER, YOU ALWAYS BIT THE HAND THAT FED YOU, (AS IN ME TRYING TO HELP YOU), YOU ALWAYS PLAYED THE FUCKING VICTIM & PUT THE BLAME ON ME FOR EVERYTHING, YOU ALSO MADE ME FEEL LIKE AN OBLIVIOUS DUMBASS, WHICH FORCED ME TO MAKE HORRIBLE DECISIONS, YOU LIED TO ME STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR TEETH, & Most Of All, The Reason Why You Broke Up With Me. You Are Fucking Scum. I Fucking Hate Everything About You, & I Don't Think Any Guy Would Wanna Be With A Petty Little Cunt Like You! And On June 9th, You Called Me A Traitor...WELL GUESS WHO'S THE TRAITOR NOW!!! FUCK YOU LUCY! FUCK, YOU!!!!! Never, Ever, Speak To Me, EVER, Again. *breathes* And That, Is The Story, Of How One Decision, Can Lead To Something Unforgivable. Now DO NOT Give Her Bad Comments Or Any Death Threats. I Don't Tolerate That Shit. But Please Don't Think Of Her As A Saint, Because She Is WAY FUCKING FAR FROM ONE. But I Do Hope She Grows Up & Actually Realizes What She's Doing Is Wrong. She Needs To Be Logical, & Accept What's Actually Real. Oh You Thought I'm Done? GUESS WHAT, THERE'S MORE! Let's Discuss, Him. 2. My Ex-Best Friend I'll Say RN, This Won't Be As Long As The "Love" Story, But Still Quite Lengthy. So Let's Begin. As Previously Mentioned, June 3rd Resulted In Me Having Half Happiness, Half Depression. Why? Because That Was The Day, I Lost My Best Friend. NOT IN A DEATH WAY, But As A Betrayal. To Explain All Of This, Let's Jump Back To 2018, When We First Started Getting Into The Loud House. He Had A HUGE Obsession With A LH Character That I Fucking Despise, & I Also Had A Somewhat Attraction Towards Another LH Character. (You Can Probably Guess Who.) So For Some Reason, He Decides To Start Doing An RP In Real Life. For Those Who Don't Know, An RP/Roleplay Is Pretending To Be Characters Your Not & Act As If You Were In Control Of The Character Instead. What He Decided To Do, Was A Real Life Version. As If They Were In Real Life With Us. And For The Most Part, It Was Actually Rather Fun. Being Able To Create My Own Stories With Characters I Adored. Until I Realized...I Was Being Held Back, By Him. In 2021, That Was When Me & Lucy Met, & Eventually Became A Couple. But While All This Was Happening, I Was Still Doing His Fake Little World, As If It Were The World That He Wanted. On June 3rd, I Finally Awoke To The Truth, Thanks To Lucy. This Motherfucker, Was Preventing Me, From Moving On Into The Real World. He Wanted Me To Be Fake, Not Real. And As Soon As It Hit Me, My Heart Stopped. After Almost 4 Years Of Being Best Friends...I Find Out It Was All A Void. He Didn't Wanna Enter The Real World, He Wanted To Live In His Little Fantasy World. And He Wanted Me To Stay With Him. But That Wasn't Happening, So I Tried To Completely End This Fairytale Once & For All, But He Wouldn't. So Once July Hit, He Was Doing RP, Not Me. Which Also Meant, That We Never Really Chatted. And At The End Of August, I Just Left. Never Even Told Him Why, Just Abandoned His Stupid Ass. And With The Entire Ordeal Of Me & Lucy Happening As Well, You Can Bet I Was In Hell. (Hey That Rhymed.) So Right At The Ass End Of August, I Was Alone. I Had No One. But For Some Reason, I Still Had Hope. 3. College/Friend Fall 2021 Was Approaching & I Was Getting Myself Ready For A Brand New Semester...What A Mistake That Was. Because On The First & (Mainly) 2nd Day Of The Semester, It Felt Like I Fell Right Into A Trap Of Despair. The Work Was WAY To Intense, The Professor's Weren't The Best, & Worst Of All, I Wasn't Meeting Anyone Of My Interest... And Then I Got Covid-19. But That's Not What I Wanna Go Into. Instead, The 2nd To Last Day Of September. That Was When I Met, A Friend. I Won't Say Exactly How We Met, But All I'll Say, Is That We Started Talking, & Then Eventually Became Friends. This Made Me Think Something Good Would Actually Happen For Me...But I Guess That Wasn't The Case. Because Literally A Few Days Later...She Tells Me That She Doesn't Wanna Be Friends Anymore, As She Doesn't Want To Have A Friend At All, & Would Rather Be Alone. And That Was It. That Was The End Of Everything. Which Perfectly Transitions To What I've Also Wanted To Get Out Into The Open... 4. My Depression/Disorders ...I'm Not Ok. I Have Not Been Ok Since June 3rd. Sure I Still Kept Some Sort Of Happy Emotion, But Right When College Hit, & That "Friend", Every Bit Of Joy Inside Of Me, Fucking Died, Leaving Me Dead Inside. And I Announced That On November 1st. But On The 20th Of Said Month, I Discovered I Had Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar 2 To Be Exact. And It's Been Going On Since, Which Is Not Fun. It Happens About Every 3-4 Days, & Dealing With This, Is NOT Easy. What Is Bipolar Disorder? Well It's Like Mood Swings, Except They Have Their Own Schedule For You. I Mentioned Bipolar 2, But Bipolar 1 Is Much Worse. You Think Of Making TERRIBLE Decisions, & Suffer Severe Depression, But I Don't Know The Full Details. Though I Do Know This... I'm Also Proned From OCD, S.A.D./Isolation, Anxiety, Social Anxiety, (At Times) Loss Of Self Motivation, (Because Of Bipolar Disorder) &... I Just Wanna Be Loved, Why Is That So Hard? Why Can't I Just Find The Right One? Why Did Everyone I Thought I Loved Have To Betray Me? Why Did My Life Have To Literally Fucking Die?! Why?! I Can't Even Cry. I Can't Even Have A Breakdown. I Can't Even Go To Anyone, Cause No One Will Listen. No One Cares About Me. No One Likes/Loves Me. I'm Literally, Nothing. Sometimes I Don't Even Wanna Wake Up For The Day. Cause That's What Leads To Me Feeling Worse & Worse. And Something Else Worth Noting, Is That I Fucking Hate Sleep. It Is A Goddamn Waste Of Time, As I Could Do SO MUCH Throughout The Night, If I Didn't Have To Lay Down & Shut Off My Whole Body For 8 Hours. I'm Fucking Dead Inside, & I Just Can't Hide It Anymore. I'm Tired Of Holding Back, & Dealing With My "Family". Oh Yeah, I Fucking Hate My Family As Well. But Hey, It's Not Valentine's Day, Without Mentioning My Favorite Ships. The Loud House: Suna (Luna Loud X Sam Sharp) Sonic The Hedgehog: Sonamy (Sonic The Hedgehog X Amy Rose) And Brand New, Five Nights At Freddy's/Five Night's At Freddy's Security Breach: (As I Call It) Froxy (Glamrock Freddy X Roxanne Wolf) And...That's It. If You Have Actually Managed To Read Through ALL Of This, Give Yourself A Pat On The Back, Because This Was Such A Nightmare To Create. But At Least Everything Is Out In The Open Now. Now If You'll Excuse Me, I Have To Go Celebrate The 2 Year Anniversary Of The Sonic Movie, Alone.