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ryuunoske — Beautiful
#beautiful #poem #thanks
Published: 2020-12-26 21:46:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 197; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description
A shade of yours hidden with shadow of the moonlight,Or part of it that pierces through the night clouds.
As I wait for the wind to blow away the clouds,
And let the fair moonlight become a jewel for the beauty of my dreams.
I fear the same wind might hinder my eyes from casting their gaze upon you,
As I compare you to the moon's and the stars that shine tonight.
But still I find them diminished in comparison.
Shine upon me and I truly hope I can hold you,
But I fear my roughs hands not suite something as delicate as you.
I find myself unworthy.
But still I hope that I may lay this gaze quietly upon you from the shadows forever after.
Yet fear that may not be possible.
My mind goes blank,
As my heart beats faster then I can bear.
I fear I may collapse in my dilemma.
I keep edging myself to reduce this distance between us.
But fear holds my breath and makes me loose all self.
As I find myself fighting myself.
Saying you are unworthy.
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Comments: 4
this piece is simply beautiful and I wanted to tell you so.
the careful and respectful way you treat the subject, the delicate metaphors you've woven together here are all very well done. The reverence and appreciation you feel is conveyed perfectly.
the concept of seeing something so wondrous and inspiring that you want to emulate despite not having the skills or understanding necessary to pull it off- that's really the constant dilemma of the artist while he/she slowly improves him/herself. You've captured that feeling of awe and inadequacy wonderfully here.
I really enjoyed this piece, it might have been what brought me to the rest of your gallery. Thank you for writing it and having the courage to upload it here, I hope that courage stays with you so that you can make many more pieces like this one.
--fast
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Thanks for the comment, I am glad you like the piece, some of the works here are just too dazzling, I hope to watch and learn from the community, have alot of pieces saved up, but tough to choose which ones to upload.
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I know that feeling! sometimes it can help to share privately beforehand- I know there were a great many poems that I wrote I felt were completely worthless until I showed someone and they liked them. Most people (myself included) are very critical of their own work, so it can help to get a second opinion.
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I don't know much of the community, not much active. I agree it might help... I will consider, but it's not fear that stops me from sharing just a personal preference.
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