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saviris — Freeze Frame
Published: 2004-02-23 12:52:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 145; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 10
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Description
(Freeze frame)Watch the bullet head straight for her heart
(She doesn't know it)
As his words spin through the air
(Like gliterring knives)
Bury themselves into her blood
(Regurgitate the memories)
Course through her bones
(Freeze frame)
She doesn't realize it quite yet
(His words stumble over each other)
How do I say it?
(How do you say it?)
(Freeze frame)
Hear the echo of the sound
(No time to scream a warning)
Five four three two one,
(Time to die.)
(Freeze frame)
Her breathing is stopping
(He brushes his fingers against her face: "I'm sorry." )
And she knows
("It's true." )
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Comments: 2
Erining, all of your poems sound like songs to me! so pretty! I really like this one tho, the two-voice structure is really cool. I've never tried it before, and I think I might!!!
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Thanks! I was going for the song feeling, since it was inspired by a song in the first place, and I'm glad I pulled that off. ^^ And I like the poem you wrote inspired by it! This was pretty much the first time I've tried to do that, too. ^^ I've tried to use it before, but not in the same way, like... where the presence of the other voice or whatever was just implied, but never actually there.
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