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Published: 2007-01-07 15:15:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 241; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 3
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Carmen’s eyes fluttered open slowly, pupils dilating as the soft golden light flooded her vision. She lay in Shane’s bed clutching the pillow that still carried that familiar and wonderful scent that she missed so much. The last ten days had been the longest in the Latina’s life. Carmen had practically moved into Jenny’s house as she waited for some sign that Shane was alright but with each day that passed the search became more and more hopeless so she clung to the small things like that pillow to give her the strength to keep hanging on.With a quick glance at the alarm clock beside the bed, Carmen sat up, her eyes red from crying again. She would have to take her shift at the Planet tonight. Kit had been so kind lately to find someone to fill in for her through this hardship, but it was time for Carmen to take responsibility for herself again. And maybe, just maybe Shane would show up there. This was the only thought, the only shred of hope that she had that would get her out of the house. If only for a few hours.
Carmen made her way to the bathroom and splashed water on her tear streaked face. She gazed at herself in the mirror and saw a shadow of her former self. There was no longer that sparkle in her eyes, the one that Shane brought out of her. There was no bright smile, not the kind that could light up the room like before. Even with the dark tan she wore, Carmen was pale. And so frail, having not eaten in what seemed like days. There was no joy in food, no joy in anything now.
She shrugged and shuffled into the living room. The house was so quiet. Mark had gone out searching again, leaving only she and Jenny to hold down the fort. Over the back of the couch, Carmen could see the very top of Jenny’s head peeking over. She moved forward slowly, knowing that Jenny had been effected just as deeply as she, and placed a warm hand on the writer’s shoulder.
Jenny sat with her arms wrapped around her knees and she rocked gently, staring forward into some dark abyss that only she could see. She still felt this was all her fault and if only she’d kept her mouth shut, Shane would be there now with them. It wasn’t as if that was an easy thing, but it was better to watch Shane be happy with Carmen, than to not see her at all. Jenny was mentally kicking herself for ever thinking that she could be the one for Shane, that she could be the one for anyone as fucked up as she knew she was. ‘How could I be so fucking selfish…’ She thought to herself when she felt the squeeze on her shoulder.
Carmen‘s voice finally cut the silence. “I know you’re missing your friend.”
Jenny snorted, the walls protecting her secret were breaking down. The guilt had eaten away at those walls and there was no one that could tell her it wasn’t her fault. “I did it,” she whispered too quietly for Carmen to hear. “She’s not my friend,” Jenny spoke more loudly.
Carmen’s brow perked in question as she moved around and knelt in front of Jenny, nodding for her to continue. When Jenny offered up nothing, Carmen finally asked, “What? How could you say she’s not…”
“She can’t be my friend because I messed that up!” Jenny shouted, causing Carmen to scoot back startled by the outburst.
Keeping her cool and trying to get to the bottom of this, Carmen put a hand on Jenny’s knee. “I don’t understand Jenny. What’s going on?”
“I did this to her. I made her leave.” Jenny could no longer look Carmen in the eye.
“What are you talking about? Jenny we all saw her busted cell phone. Something happened to her and you’ve been here, we’ve all been here trying to find her. There’s no way you could have something to do with this.” Carmen put a hand under Jenny’s chin forcing her to look. “Help me understand you.”
“Don’t you get it? No one will ever understand me…except Shane. And that’s why I did what I did.” Jenny blurted out, failing to hold back her tears any longer. “I was the last one to see her and I told her I loved her! I told her I wanted her! That I wanted us to be together!”
Carmen removed her hand from Jenny’s chin and stood up tall. There was something burning in her eyes now, a flame that sparked and ignited and became brighter and hotter as Jenny kept going. She was pissed.
“And she did what she always does,” Jenny continued. “She gave me what I wanted. It hurt her so much and I saw that, but I let it happen anyway. I let her kiss me and then she ran. I made her run!” Her head fell in her hands as she began to sob uncontrollably.
Feeling sick to her stomach, Carmen fought the urge to double over. Her breathing became a series of short, angry puffs as she tried so desperately to control herself but Carmen could feel her anger becoming as unruly as Jenny’s sobs. “How could you?” Her voice boomed. “After everything that we all went through together, after all the things you said about how Shane and I should be together. How can you love her so much and piss on something that’s actually making her happy? She’s so…”
Carmen felt her temper getting the best of her. She picked up the coffee table and hurled it across the room clinching her fists as she heard it clatter against the wall and bang on the floor. She was yelling now, no longer feeling the need to be the nice girl. “…Shane is so tough, but so fragile and I know you see that in her. Anyone that cares about her can see it! But you don’t really care at all do you?”
Jenny wasn’t responding, only sitting there taking it in and still hiding her face in her hands. Everything Carmen was saying was something she’d already thought of and already beat herself up over.
Obviously unhappy with the lack of response, Carmen was getting hotter and hotter under the collar. She reached down and grabbed Jenny’s arms, forcing her to stand and face this. Carmen started to shake Jenny and each woman had tears rolling down their cheeks. “You don’t do you? You don’t care. And now she’s out there, God knows where, and something…” Carmen’s words got lost, caught on the tip of her tongue when her breath hitched. “…something could have happened to her. She could be hurt or…”
Jenny just shook her head no. She didn’t want to believe that Shane could be hurt or worse. She couldn’t believe it, not because of the mistake she had made.
Carmen grew more and more frustrated that Jenny was never at a loss for words until now. She drew her hand back and slapped Jenny across the face, not realizing just how much force she put behind it until she watched Jenny fall to the floor. “Because of you!” she screamed and pounced on Jenny.
Bette was on her way over to the house to check on the girls and find out if anyone had found any sign of Shane. Standing outside the door, she heard screaming, though the words couldn’t be made out. Bette rushed in to find Carmen on top of Jenny, hitting her in an obvious fit of rage. She sat down the casserole dish she had carried over and ran to grab Carmen. “Stop this! Stop it!” Bette yelled as she pushed Carmen back.
Her ability to control a situation came in handy as Bette sat Carmen down and then helped Jenny back onto the couch. “You,” she pointed at Carmen, “cool off.” Bette reached into her pocket to hand Jenny a handkerchief for her busted lip. “And you just take it easy.”
When it became apparent that both women were calm enough to talk civilly, Bette took the casserole that Tina had made and put it in the fridge. She walked back to the living room and took a seat of her own. “So which one of you wants to tell me what the fuck is going on?”
“I’ve gotta go,” Carmen stated. Not willing to stick around for any protest, she grabbed her car keys by the door and walked out.
_________
For awhile it seemed just like old times between Shane and Clive. They scrounged for food together, scored drugs together, and most importantly watched each others back. This night there were big plans. One of Clive’s contacts, the usual less than upstanding Hollywood type, was throwing a huge party and he had tipped Clive off telling him that a lot of money could be made for the right kind of entertainment. Together they made plans to keep things simple but make enough cash to get off the streets for one night. ‘Make enough for a hotel. A warm bed just for a night…’ Shane kept telling herself, though she couldn’t fight off the sick feeling she had in her stomach as they walked into the elaborately decorated mansion.
The music was blasting, the cocktails were flowing, and the men were already pawing all over them. Money was certainly easy to come by that night. Inside of twenty minutes Shane had already made one hundred dollars. Clive nearly tripled that. He was working the room hard, obviously on some mission of his own. As the night went on, the pair eventually lost sight of each other. A fact that made Shane feel anything but comfortable. Clive was supposed to have her back and now, like so many times before, she was on her own.
“Come on baby. What’s it gonna take to get you to follow me into that room over there? Another fifty? Seventy-five?” A twink of a man named Tommy had cornered Shane. He liked what he saw and showed no signs of stopping until he got just what he wanted.
“No way man. I told you, it’s all here and it’s all hands.” Shane was doing her best to stay calm, but under the constant antagonizing of Tommy she was starting to feel the room close in on her.
Tommy snorted, not even noticing that Shane wasn’t the boy-toy he so desired. In fact, he might have gotten quiet a surprise if he had managed to get her in a room alone and been able to do as he pleased. Instead though, dark eyes watched the whole scene play out from across the room. Someone was eyeing Shane, watching her every move.
“Enough of this bullshit!” Tommy shouted. “Let’s go, I’ll give you a grand.” He grabbed Shane’s arm and started dragging her towards one of the bedrooms.
“No please…don’t.” Her voice was barely a whisper. Shane was losing the will to fight.
Tommy wouldn’t make it two steps before he slammed face first into a rather large fist. He was on the floor howling and holding his nose before Shane even realized what was happening. She looked up to see who had intervened and instead of the usual smile she sighed and dropped her eyes back to the floor, ashamed.
Shane felt the warmth under her chin of someone coercing her into looking up and she couldn’t fight it any longer, just so happy to see something that she felt she might never see again. A friendly face. Shane fell forward into a tight embrace and she didn’t bother to hold back the tears brimming in her eyes. “Tiny…” she huffed between sniffles.
“Come on babygirl. I see Clive is as reliable as always, leaving you all alone. What do ya say old Tiny gets you outta here?”
All he got in response was half a nod and soon Tiny swooped down wrapping one arm underneath Shane’s legs and the other arm behind her back to carry her out of the mansion. As it would turn out though, Clive wasn’t exactly done with Shane.
“Stop them!” he shouted over the crowd and the music. “Tiny!” Clive ran over to where they stood by the entrance. “You’re about to cause a whole lot of trouble if you walk out of that door with her.”
Tiny wasn’t having any of it. He never did like Clive and that dislike was turning into something much more ugly with each passing second the little pissant kept him from taking Shane to safety. He took another step towards the door and reached his arm out to grab the handle.
Clive was stupid enough to put a hand on Tiny, but quickly removed it when he saw the much larger man glaring at him. He giggled insecurely. “It’s just…if you take Shane out of here, they’ll come looking for her.” Clive motioned with his hand to a group of three men standing at the top of the stairs. “I set it up. They’ve already paid for the night with her.”
Considering Tiny dwarfed everyone else at the party, he held little concern for what those three men or anyone else could do to him. In his experience, most people wouldn’t even try to stop him when he set his mind on something. Clive was just that stupid and for that he was sent flying halfway across the room with a quick backhand from the big man. “You ever come near her again and I won’t be so nice,” warned Tiny as he strolled out the door unchallenged, carrying Shane to his car.
_________
Shane sat up in the bed wrapped in a warm terry cloth robe with a towel around her freshly washed hair. Inwardly she sighed, as she pulled the blankets more snuggly around her. ‘A hotel…just for a night…’
Tiny walked into the room with a hot cup of coffee and a bowl of soup from the hotel’s kitchen. “Sip it slow,” he said referring to the soup. “I can tell it’s been awhile since you’ve had anything.”
Nodding, Shane did as she was told. She was in no position to argue and knew that this comfort would only last for so long before she’d be back out on the streets again. Tiny just sat back in his chair and watched her, feeling horrible for not being able to find Shane sooner. She was so…broken.
They sat in relative silence with only the slurping of soup and coffee sounding out in the hotel room. By the time Shane finally finished and pushed away the now half empty bowl and soup, Tiny couldn’t stand the suspense any longer. “Mind telling me what’s going on? You know I’ll do what I have to, so I can help.”
“Can’t.” Shane muttered. “Shouldn’t even be here. They might see.”
“Tell me who. Who will see?”
Shaking her head, Shane wasn’t giving in. Steve threatened Shane but worse laid a threat on Carmen if Shane ever went home. He won. He had taken everything from her.
Understandably frustrated yet compassionate, Tiny nodded once in acceptance. “I met Carmen. I met all your friends actually. They’re a great bunch of people Shane.”
With the little strength she had, Shane threw the coffee cup across the room and watched it shatter against the wall. “I know that Tiny! God damn it! That’s why I can never go back there!” Shane’s tears had begun anew and her voice was strained under the intense emotion spewing from her. “I just…I know what I have to do. But Carmen, she…she’ll never understand and I just wanna hear her one last time…”
Shane doubled over in the bed sobbing and Tiny moved to sit next to her, rubbing her back. “We all do what we have to do,” he said softly.
Tiny held up his cell phone for Shane to see. “So do it.”
_________
Carmen had left the house hours ago in a fit of anger. She regretted hitting Jenny, but the moment had gotten the best of her. For a hot tempered Latina sometimes the best release is the wrong one in a tense situation.
For so long she just drove, looking down every side street and every alley she could find. Shane was somewhere, she had to be and the fire within Carmen was fueling her now. She no longer cared about anything other than finding the love of her life. ‘Come on Shane, where are you?…I love you so…so much…’
Her eyes became watery as the same chant ran over and over in her mind. ‘I love you. Please come home to me.’
Carmen made a right down Hollywood Boulevard and drove slowly past all the attractions. What made her go that direction was anyone’s guess, but she could feel something. Shane had been there. ‘Or am I just going crazy?’
The cell phone sitting in the passenger seat lit up and started to ring bringing Carmen, momentarily, from her own hysteria. With a quick glance on the screen she saw it was Tiny. Carmen’s eyes widened at the thought that maybe, just maybe, he’d found something.
Afraid of her own hopes getting to high, Carmen waited until the third ring before she finally had the nerve to answer. “Hello.”
On the other end of the line there was almost total silence. Only a slow and steady inhale and exhaled could be heard.
“Hello?” She tried again. “This is Carmen…”
Still silence, but realization was starting to set in for Carmen.
“Shane?”
Nothing.
“Shane? Baby is that you? I love y…”
There was a click on the line and all Carmen could hear now was a dial tone.
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Comments: 2
No-Work-and-All-Play [2008-02-14 20:48:00 +0000 UTC]
...Wow, this is a really intense story! and I like this story line better than the actual one, so please keep going
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
scribble-999 In reply to No-Work-and-All-Play [2008-03-08 17:33:38 +0000 UTC]
Unfortunately it finishes in a few chapters... as you've probably already seen. But I'm so glad you've enjoyed the story this much. It was fairly intense to write, so I'm happy it's the same from a reader's perspective. Thanks again for reading and for commenting
👍: 0 ⏩: 0








