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ScribbledNotes — 2:30 and Everything Ends
Published: 2008-03-25 03:06:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 184; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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Description 2:30 And Everything Ends
January 4

She sat in front of me,
Irish brown hair somehow
falling on my desk
everyday in our major class,
passing me notes about
silly nonsense and
whispering over teacher's
droning on about the care
of bees and his allergy
to them (sting = death)
about her day or inquiring
about mine.

She'd tell me different
tales from weekend's
past of keg parties, her getting drunk,
having sex with countless guys,
smoking Newports when the weed ran out -
I'd just listen to this
pretty Irish girl with the most
entrancing eyes, the shape,
enjoying my listen to that voice.
She had a small body, slender waist, modest
bust, no butt, but long brown hair.
And we'd walk together across the street
when out class went to the farm or the
field (our agriculture school, only one in Philly),
until I caught us holding hands
every time we'd go over there.
We'd sit under the shade of
a plum tree, talking about any and
everything.

Pretty soon, all the girls, every single one
would sit under that tree with us,
me the only guy, all the others
jealous, though all I wanted was to be
with this Irish princess.

One day she announced that the world
would end 2:30 that afternoon.
Nostradamus predicted it, after all.

I told her she was stupid once;
everyone else ridiculed her a good
long while.

We went across the street
per usual to the field that afternoon,
the reason fleeing me,
holding hands, me pointing to the sky -
    "Clear, not a cloud in
     the sky."

    "Don't worry. It'll happen."

We laid on the soft grass, was early spring,
watching the one cloud that would pass,
waiting           each moment          waiting
         -2:10-                 -2:20-
for things to end so violently on that
beautiful peaceful spring afternoon.
         -2:31-

We stayed there on the soft grass
next to each other
     "Maybe my watch's
      a little fast."
waiting for everything to end and shatter
our monotonous existence.
          -3:00-

The teacher eventually told us to gather our belongings,
then our heading back to the classroom.
Other kids laughed at her, joked,
mocked her.
I just smiled as we walked back
to class holding hands.
      "It'll happen! Maybe tomorrow!"

      "Yes. Yes. Of course,
       Caitlin."
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Comments: 4

yeatsgrave [2008-11-22 15:23:11 +0000 UTC]

You know, I was really waiting for you to say that the world really did end, or waiting for something catastrophic. I was a little disappointed.

I didn't quite understand the "Pretty soon, all the girls, every single one" stanza. Like it was kind of all of a sudden and vague, where did this information come from? I dunno, coulda been introduced a bit better, I have no suggestions.

Also, you should never call a girl named Caitlin stupid. Not spelled that way. It's a very smart name.

I'm left thinking that the whole poem is about this girl being stupid. But I thought there were almost glimpses at something else, but then they were ignored.

Anyway, it's a good piece. I like your writing. I'm just blabbing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ScribbledNotes In reply to yeatsgrave [2008-11-22 20:53:07 +0000 UTC]

That stanza in question related to the end of the last one where I was mentioning that the character and Caitlin used to sit under a tree and then, eventually, in that class, the rest of the girls would sit under that tree with them.

Oh, and I adore the name Caitlin; it's my fav, literally. The glimpses should have been that there was this person that really liked this girl, no matter if she believed in things that were absurd to the main character. He still liked her, and felt affection for her.

Ahh, but thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lasagnabomb [2008-03-27 20:00:21 +0000 UTC]

everything about
smoking Newports
and the time going....

i don't have to say it/i want more of it

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ScribbledNotes In reply to lasagnabomb [2008-03-28 02:29:54 +0000 UTC]

Ha and heh, thank dude.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0