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Published: 2008-08-28 02:11:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 202; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
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Description
Gentle sun-kissed skin,defined muscles – my, have
I changed from my before,
such a frail, thin man.
My hair is so much more thicker and luxurious
than I can ever recall. My god,
my hands. Those are the
hands the Greeks wrote when describing
their gods, firm and strong, big,
yet the tender way I hold you; I
can see why you melt away the
way you do when I hold you.
My posture is something the finest
Marine strives to achieve, but mine
is so natural.
I can tell by my clothes that money
isn't funny and you're laughing from
my naturally good humored personality.
The laser work did wonders, glasses are
a fable when speaking of them sitting
on the bridge of my nose, pushing up,
sliding, pushing up again.
We look so, so happy, it amazes me.
Even with all these years apart, me
leaving to do business overseas, you
still love me.
It's weird looking at myself and you,
together still. Such a unique out of
body experience.
It's weird looking at myself and you,
together still. I look like a completely
different man.
We kiss so gently, so passionately.
Its so weird looking at myself and you,
together still. I must be looking at myself,
because I can't imagine I would be watching
you ever kiss another man.
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Comments: 28
vanityproject [2008-08-29 05:27:16 +0000 UTC]
i understood it... but really only at the very end. i still love it though.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to vanityproject [2008-08-29 23:25:28 +0000 UTC]
Yes, yes, it was suppose to be a last minute thing, though I don't think it's a really big impact. Too subtle actually. Might tweak and play around with this.
Thanks for the kind words.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
CrinaPrida [2008-08-28 06:02:43 +0000 UTC]
interesting rendition of a medical disorder - really cool! So..not in denial?? wish I were you - I think I am in denial of many things.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to CrinaPrida [2008-08-28 23:59:28 +0000 UTC]
I need to re-write this piece... EVERYONE got what this poem is about wrong!
It's suppose to be this guy LOOKING at his CURRENT girlfriend/wife whatever kissing and holding another man, which is why, the whole time, he's like, oh, my hands have changed. I'm taller, I'm this and that. So then he chalks it up to just being an out of body experience since he just KNOWS his girlfriend/wife ain't cheating on him... or did I get your comments wrong and that's what you meant anyway? lol
I was/am confused by some of the comments because everyone's like, Aw, how beautiful and special and whatnot and I'm like.... opps. They're not getting it.
I need to make it clearer in the end!!! Augh!
Oh, and thanks for the comment, dear!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CrinaPrida In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-08-29 05:09:07 +0000 UTC]
yes, that is how I saw it; but indeed, a bit of tweaking the message might help - let me know if you change it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to happyfruitcake [2008-08-29 23:26:24 +0000 UTC]
Oh dear, it's not suppose to be lovely! It's a quite sad, tragic thing! But I'll fix it so it'll be more apparent.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
happyfruitcake In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-08-30 00:36:50 +0000 UTC]
oouuchh i was wrong!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to happyfruitcake [2008-08-30 01:53:57 +0000 UTC]
^_^ It's my fault. I didn't make it clear enough. More than few people got it wrong.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
happyfruitcake In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-08-30 02:34:11 +0000 UTC]
shud i say it "pphhheeewwww" now?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
happyfruitcake In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-08-30 02:54:17 +0000 UTC]
hahahahaha PPHHHEEEEWWWWW!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to powgrl [2008-08-29 23:26:52 +0000 UTC]
No, dear, no! It shouldn't be! But when I edit it, it'll be clearer.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
powgrl In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-08-30 03:25:55 +0000 UTC]
originally I thought it was about lost love, then I looked again and thought I was wrong.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to powgrl [2008-08-30 15:28:20 +0000 UTC]
No, no, you original idea was pretty close!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to LoneDoll [2008-08-29 23:27:13 +0000 UTC]
Oh goodness. lol Thanks!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LoneDoll In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-08-29 23:44:10 +0000 UTC]
You are very welcome my friend!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0