HOME | DD
Published: 2008-10-05 08:16:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 283; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 1
Redirect to original
Description
It was a slick, slurping soundfollowed by a yelp that led me
around the corner standing
face to face with a bloodied
sword, creating its own pool
beneath it as a man clutched
his chest, grimacing, his attacker
flashing slightly rotten teeth,
some broken. A woman in
the corner of this alley, her,
all three of these players dressed
out of time, so Don Quixote.
She held close a handkerchief
crying into it, yelling, on her knees,
hand outstretched.
The victim’s breaths slowed to
a nothing, his feather from his hat
mixing with blood on stained tunic,
and the sword-welder walked past
me, brushing my shoulder on his exit.
She was hysterical, I was confused,
looked around. Call the cops? Get
someone else? Walk away? Pretend
I saw nothing? It gets dangerous nowadays
testifying, witnessing in a court. My
brain was considering this all
while my legs didn’t wait for
deliberation, outstretched hand to
the woman, her gorgeous white dress
getting dirtier and dirtier with each
roll around the ground. “Ma’am,
are you alright? Are you hurt?”
“How could I ever consider myself
when he is dead?!” “Who? Who
is this man?” She looked up as if
I were possessed. “Chivalry, of
course, dear sir.” My eyebrows raised.
I dropped my bag I’d been holding.
I heard several cracks. I knew
my eggs were broken. “Is that so?”
I said. “Most certainly,” she continued
between sobs. “All is lost now.”
“Who was it that killed him?”
I asked. “Dear sir, I beg your pardon,
but I know not from where you
originate from if you can not recognize
Selfish when you see him? I can not imagine
a creature on this earth who wouldn’t
step aside, cross streets and hide behind
doors to simply avoid falling within
his shadow.” I nodded.
“Of course.” I said. It seemed appropriate
to act as if I understood. I knelt next
to her, wept silently. This too seemed
appropriate. “They’ve fought for years,
but the fight is finally lost. He
couldn’t hold out any longer.” “He was
a good man.” I added. “The absolute
best, dear sir! The very best.” “He will
be missed.” I bemused. “The world
will not even realize he’s gone.” she said.
A chill ran through my spine.
Related content
Comments: 12
myheartsong [2008-12-20 03:46:30 +0000 UTC]
I really like this one...The way you wrote it is fantastic.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to myheartsong [2008-12-20 21:03:28 +0000 UTC]
Wow, thanks a lot. I didn't get too many comments about this one, but I'm glad that you did like this. I enjoyed this a lot.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
missmocha [2008-11-24 05:12:26 +0000 UTC]
Hahaha a very interesing way to describe the death of chivalry...so what exactly killed him? Selfish or the woman?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to missmocha [2008-11-27 19:18:16 +0000 UTC]
Oh, oh, Selfish. He was the one with the blade. The woman was just, like, the representation of people who noticed chivalry was dead mourning. Maybe I should make that part more clear, eh?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Temeraki [2008-10-06 20:22:06 +0000 UTC]
I like the end, 'A chill ran down my spine.'
Very good Narrative poems are always fun, though I find annoying to write
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to Temeraki [2008-10-06 20:50:01 +0000 UTC]
Ahh, thanks a lot! I had my head full of a recent author I've been readings works and discovered a new way to go ahead and do narritive, which is much more fun and free; don't limit yourself to reality.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Temeraki In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-10-06 23:02:18 +0000 UTC]
Limit myself to reality O_o Hmm... guess I need to start experimenting more.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
etto-etto [2008-10-05 18:02:48 +0000 UTC]
Shouldn't it be "led" as opposed to "lead" in the first stanza? Unless it's like the word "read" and I'm unaware... O.o
There are few places I think would be better written if you replaced the commas with dashes, but other than that, I think this is interesting, and it made for a good read :]
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to etto-etto [2008-10-05 18:38:30 +0000 UTC]
It should be led, and I changed that, and most likely there should be dashes instead of commas throughout. I'll try and edit once more!
Thank you, too.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0