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Description
han gets shot on a tuesday.

she's twenty nine, erin is twenty seven, and they've known each other for just over ten years. obviously, their time has run out.

it happens on no man's land, of all places, and sparks off a full scale war, the likes of which hasn't been seen in almost forty years. it happens three streets away from kasey's, the bar that's the second closest thing to home that erin has, and it happens late at night, when it's dark and confusing and there's a gunshot and erin can't tell where it came from and she can't really see through her rage anyway, all she knows is that she's trying to reach for her wire and someone's holding her back and han is on her knees and there's blood soaking through her shirt, and this is not how this day was meant to end. this was not how this was meant to happen.

han was meant to live for years and years and years, she was meant to be there when erin got promoted to gang leader, she was meant to hold erin's hand at o'lantern's funeral, who's going to hold erin's hand at han's funeral? this wasn't how it was meant to happen, han was never meant to die in an alleyway in the dark and in so much pain, she was meant to go peacefully, quickly, in her sleep. she was meant to die of old age.

this wasn't how this day was supposed to end. erin was supposed to go back to kasey's and introduce her to the joys of chocolate cake, they were supposed to bake chocolate cake together, they were supposed to spend hours baking and getting drunk and being stupid and laughing so hard it hurt. this wasn't supposed to happen. erin was meant to be laughing, not choking back tears. han was meant to be breathing.

han is still on her knees. there's still blood soaking through her shirt, and there's more of it now. the world hasn't stopped because erin is freaking out, and the world won't stop because han dies, and the world won't stop because erin can't see through her rage and screams obscenities at the sky and demands for it all to stop, stop, right this second, why should a world without han exist, why should anyone be allowed to live when they let this happen, who let this happen? show her who let this happen, so she can tear them to pieces, so they can atone for their sins.

han is still on her knees.

erin takes one deep breath, another, another. tucks her wire back in her belt, runs a hand through her hair, blinks back the red haze of rage. gets her priorities straight. drops to her knees by han's side. wraps an arm around her waist, careful to avoid her stomach, rests a hand on her uninjured hip. tries to remember how to speak.

"hey, darling." she says, and there's an unspoken decision to collectively ignore the crack in her voice, in her composure. she blinks again, and she definitely isn't blinking back tears. "we're gonna get you out of here, okay?"

erin means to be reassuring, but han shakes her head. "no, you're not. don't be so stupid. i'm gonna-" her voice breaks, but she carries on anyway. she's always been so damn determined. "i'm gonna die, erin. i'm gonna die in a goddamn alleyway, okay, there's nothing you can do about it. moving me will make it worse. there's a fucking bullet in my stomach, i can feel the blood running down my hip, and there's nothing you can do. yeah?"

"okay." erin says, swallowing around the weight of her tears. fuck, death isn't usually this hard. she used to be so much better at keeping it together, for fuck's sake. "okay. okay. y'know i love you, right?"

han smiles weakly. there's pain in her eyes, and these are the last words she's ever gonna speak, and erin is going to be the last thing she ever sees, and goddammit, when did erin say this was okay? when did anyone say it could happen like this?

"i know. i know." she's breathing harder, now, like it's taking effort. erin resolutely doesn't think about that. "i'm gonna wait for you, okay? in heaven, or wherever it is i end up. i'm gonna wait for you, and you're gonna take your goddamn time. you're gonna live, you hear me? for years and years and years. make that chocolate cake for my wake. learn to kiss other people. i'm not the be all and end all, erin. please live without me."

there are tears running down her cheeks. there are tears running down erin's cheeks. han is never going to get to experience the joys of chocolate cake, and now neither is erin, because it's always going to taste like ash. she'll learn to kiss other people, and she'll learn to walk through no man's land alone, and she'll find some other bar to frequent, and she'll live, live, live, but chocolate cake is always going to taste like ash. she smiles, and it's about as far from sincere as a smile can get, but she smiles anyway, and she says, "i will, han. i promise." and she presses a kiss to erin's forehead, her cheek, her lips. stays there, feels her breath, ragged and painful.

han's eyes slip closed. erin feels han's last breath soft on her cheek.

han dies on a tuesday. she's twenty-nine. she's buried in the backyard of the bar she grew up in, the only place she ever considered home. erin bakes a chocolate cake for her wake, holds hamlet's hand through her funeral, and spends the following saturday looking for another bar. one that doesn't have a dead body she knows so well lying six feet under in it's backyard, one that doesn't have the ghosts of her happiest memories sitting in the booth in the corner, one she can walk in and out and around without tearing up. it takes her eight hours. she doesn't go back to kasey's, not even to lay flowers on han's grave. she bakes chocolate cake on han's birthday and lets everyone else eats it, and she learns to kiss other people, and she tears the son of the bitch that fired that goddamn bullet apart.

han dies on a tuesday, and it sparks off a full scale war. some scully scum kills han, so erin kills that scully scum and the six other people she found sitting in the medic centre with him, so the scullys ambush a mulder safe house, so the mulders torch a scully safe house. so there's four months of the most brutal, revenge fueled fighting that chicago has seen in near on forty years. so erin takes out all of her rage on any scully that gets within range, and something like eighty six people die, and four of them are erin's friends, and one of them is han.

and then life goes on, as much as life can ever do. them's the breaks, after all.

Description
han gets shot on a tuesday.

she's twenty nine, erin is twenty seven, and they've known each other for just over ten years. obviously, their time has run out.

it happens on no man's land, of all places, and sparks off a full scale war, the likes of which hasn't been seen in almost forty years. it happens three streets away from kasey's, the bar that's the second closest thing to home that erin has, and it happens late at night, when it's dark and confusing and there's a gunshot and erin can't tell where it came from and she can't really see through her rage anyway, all she knows is that she's trying to reach for her wire and someone's holding her back and han is on her knees and there's blood soaking through her shirt, and this is not how this day was meant to end. this was not how this was meant to happen.

han was meant to live for years and years and years, she was meant to be there when erin got promoted to gang leader, she was meant to hold erin's hand at o'lantern's funeral, who's going to hold erin's hand at han's funeral? this wasn't how it was meant to happen, han was never meant to die in an alleyway in the dark and in so much pain, she was meant to go peacefully, quickly, in her sleep. she was meant to die of old age.

this wasn't how this day was supposed to end. erin was supposed to go back to kasey's and introduce her to the joys of chocolate cake, they were supposed to bake chocolate cake together, they were supposed to spend hours baking and getting drunk and being stupid and laughing so hard it hurt. this wasn't supposed to happen. erin was meant to be laughing, not choking back tears. han was meant to be breathing.

han is still on her knees. there's still blood soaking through her shirt, and there's more of it now. the world hasn't stopped because erin is freaking out, and the world won't stop because han dies, and the world won't stop because erin can't see through her rage and screams obscenities at the sky and demands for it all to stop, stop, right this second, why should a world without han exist, why should anyone be allowed to live when they let this happen, who let this happen? show her who let this happen, so she can tear them to pieces, so they can atone for their sins.

han is still on her knees.

erin takes one deep breath, another, another. tucks her wire back in her belt, runs a hand through her hair, blinks back the red haze of rage. gets her priorities straight. drops to her knees by han's side. wraps an arm around her waist, careful to avoid her stomach, rests a hand on her uninjured hip. tries to remember how to speak.

"hey, darling." she says, and there's an unspoken decision to collectively ignore the crack in her voice, in her composure. she blinks again, and she definitely isn't blinking back tears. "we're gonna get you out of here, okay?"

erin means to be reassuring, but han shakes her head. "no, you're not. don't be so stupid. i'm gonna-" her voice breaks, but she carries on anyway. she's always been so damn determined. "i'm gonna die, erin. i'm gonna die in a goddamn alleyway, okay, there's nothing you can do about it. moving me will make it worse. there's a fucking bullet in my stomach, i can feel the blood running down my hip, and there's nothing you can do. yeah?"

"okay." erin says, swallowing around the weight of her tears. fuck, death isn't usually this hard. she used to be so much better at keeping it together, for fuck's sake. "okay. okay. y'know i love you, right?"

han smiles weakly. there's pain in her eyes, and these are the last words she's ever gonna speak, and erin is going to be the last thing she ever sees, and goddammit, when did erin say this was okay? when did anyone say it could happen like this?

"i know. i know." she's breathing harder, now, like it's taking effort. erin resolutely doesn't think about that. "i'm gonna wait for you, okay? in heaven, or wherever it is i end up. i'm gonna wait for you, and you're gonna take your goddamn time. you're gonna live, you hear me? for years and years and years. make that chocolate cake for my wake. learn to kiss other people. i'm not the be all and end all, erin. please live without me."

there are tears running down her cheeks. there are tears running down erin's cheeks. han is never going to get to experience the joys of chocolate cake, and now neither is erin, because it's always going to taste like ash. she'll learn to kiss other people, and she'll learn to walk through no man's land alone, and she'll find some other bar to frequent, and she'll live, live, live, but chocolate cake is always going to taste like ash. she smiles, and it's about as far from sincere as a smile can get, but she smiles anyway, and she says, "i will, han. i promise." and she presses a kiss to erin's forehead, her cheek, her lips. stays there, feels her breath, ragged and painful.

han's eyes slip closed. erin feels han's last breath soft on her cheek.

han dies on a tuesday. she's twenty-nine. she's buried in the backyard of the bar she grew up in, the only place she ever considered home. erin bakes a chocolate cake for her wake, holds hamlet's hand through her funeral, and spends the following saturday looking for another bar. one that doesn't have a dead body she knows so well lying six feet under in it's backyard, one that doesn't have the ghosts of her happiest memories sitting in the booth in the corner, one she can walk in and out and around without tearing up. it takes her eight hours. she doesn't go back to kasey's, not even to lay flowers on han's grave. she bakes chocolate cake on han's birthday and lets everyone else eats it, and she learns to kiss other people, and she tears the son of the bitch that fired that goddamn bullet apart.

han dies on a tuesday, and it sparks off a full scale war. some scully scum kills han, so erin kills that scully scum and the six other people she found sitting in the medic centre with him, so the scullys ambush a mulder safe house, so the mulders torch a scully safe house. so there's four months of the most brutal, revenge fueled fighting that chicago has seen in near on forty years. so erin takes out all of her rage on any scully that gets within range, and something like eighty six people die, and four of them are erin's friends, and one of them is han.

and then life goes on, as much as life can ever do. them's the breaks, after all.