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With a shiver, I found I could not move at all
This was so wicked awesome, I'd have me a ball,
All the dudes in the town were then clearly in thrall
To the mighty bare feet-tickle urge siren call;
Adding fuel to the fire, I protested, "No!
Quit this stupid-a* s*! Come on, guys, let me go!"
They looked happy as if they'd all thought it were so
"Tootsie ticklin looks like it might scare you there, bro!
We'll pay back how you tickled our innocent feet
You dished out what your own dawgs are soon gonna meet,
With your d* ticklish barefeet, we're packing the heat
You'll be tickled like h* - this is so f*in sweet!"

I could feel my toes tingle at each word they said
Thoughts of Barefooter, Feet-tickled danced in my head,
Then I thought if I feigned to be masking some dread
It might draw out their best barefeet-tickling instead;
"Dudes, you don't have to do this, don't get out of hand
Ticklin all your hot barefeet went just as I planned
You can tickle my tootsies, but it'll be bland
Cuz I said I ain't ticklish, don't y'all understand?"
"You can say all you want, bro, but we wonder why
If your barefeet ain't ticklish, we shouldn't just try,
Let these puppies confirm what your mouth might deny
It'll tickle so bad, dude, you'll wish you could die;"

"Well I'm glad that my instincts turned out to be true
And that eager foot-ticklers lurked inside of you,
But I'll tell you one fact now that's real f*in true
Tootsie-ticklin's more easy to say than to do;"
"You say you ain't ticklish but we all see through it
Our barefeet were ticklish and you surely knew it,
When tickle-time comes, you've just gotta get to it
The tickling starts now - kitchy-koo, bro, let's do it!"
And at last all the waiting was truly complete
They could no more delay their big ticklefeet treat,
The excitement was palpable all down the street
And the tickles began on my massive bare feet;